The Best and the Beautiful
by khepri2
Summary: An Alternate Universe story of Alexander and Hephaestion told from both their points of view
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

_This is an Alternate Universe story of Alexander and Hephaestion. Some of it is similar to my previous story 'Hephaestion's Journal' for the simple reason I need it to be - you'll see why as the story goes along. Also I don't think it is plagarism if you use your own writing!!_

_The story is told from both their points of view._

Usual Disclaimers Apply

Feedback will be appreciated

**The Best and the Beautiful**

**Prologue – Panemos, 23****rd**** Regnal Year of Philippos II, King of Macedon**

Hephaestion 

_Five days since the King's death. Five days since Alexander was chosen King by the Council and the army. Five days since Pausanias was speared to death by Leonnatus and his body crucified to show the world what happens to a regicide. Five days since I, Hephaestion Amyntoros, may have lost my life or the only reason I had to live it, which amounts to the same thing._

_Standing on a balcony of the palace I looked out on a night full of thunder and lightening, the sky in turmoil as powerful as my own emotional one. So much to think on, so much to decide – as his mother had already pointed out to me; my place at Alexander's side could no longer be what it was. How can it be, she asked? Much against my will I had, in the end, to agree with her._

_Alexander is no longer the boy I fell in love with despite his rank the companion with whom I have shared my dreams, my fears, my hopes and my body. He is my King now and I merely a servant; courtier, a friend amongst many, low down on the ranking of advisors. He belongs to all now; the fantasy I held these past years of him being solely mine and I his has faded and been washed away by Philip's spilt blood. I now stand in the way to power for many – his mother, the Generals, his other friends who were willing enough to leave me be whilst he was prince and, even to the last, not necessarily Philip's chosen successor._

_But now he is king. Now he must take his place at the head of the army and show Greece that a king has died but there is another as formidable to take his place. Now he must listen to wiser heads that have served Macedon for decades. Now he must marry and beget an heir._

_Oh, yes, it was this that Olympias accused me of hindering this night. That I have held him from his duty of choosing a wife because of his passion for me and mine for him. I deny it as a conscious thing but I must be truthful with myself and acknowledge the fear I have of losing him to his wife – women we have both had and they have not caused any diminution in our feelings for each other, but a wife is different. Particularly for a king. Do I stand in the way of Macedon getting an heir? Have I manipulated him, unknowingly, to such a degree, as she accused me of, that he will not consider marrying? Has my love blinded me to the needs of both my country and my lover? If so, then she is right, I am a menace._

_All I wanted, ever, was to be by his side, protect him from his inner demons that can rage as thunderously as the night is about me – I can calm him at these times where no one else can; I have no fault to answer there. And I love him for himself; if he was to abdicate tomorrow I would follow him wherever he chose to go. But he will not. Though I believe with all my heart he never sought Philip's death yet now he is king he will not shirk. The very opposite in fact – it is his path to glory; as we have discussed many times the Asian campaign, even with Philip leading it, would have been our chance to show the world and our peers what we could do, what we are destined to be. Alexander will rival Achilles in his glory and actions and I always believed I would be at his side, his Patroclus, until death._

_But Achilles was no king nor had he the responsibility for a kingdom; that fell to Agamemnon and he knew when to be merciful and when to be cruel. For a king has to know how to be both these things and cannot always follow the precepts of his heart or put those he loves first. And it is very likely that I will be the first thing he has to let go of. Not as a friend, we will always be that and I will ensure I stay at his side in battle if nowhere else. But as lovers it may very well be over._

"_Amyntoros!"_

_Cassander. An appropriate companion for my black mood. I did not answer him, merely turned slightly from where I was leaning against the wall to keep him in sight as one would a snake._

"_You were missed at dinner – not by many it is true, but Alex – the King – noted your absence."_

"_And you were so full of concern for him that you felt it your duty to come and find me?"_

_His laugh was soft, like a hiss, with no more humour in it than was in my own sarcastic comment._

"_Hardly. I wanted to see how you fare and whether you understand the situation more than he evidently does."_

"_What situation is that, Antipatoros?"_

"_That you can no longer share his bed – ah, you do know it! Oh, don't turn those steely blues on me, they have no effect. I'm not afraid of you, never have been and soon you will be in no position to be feared by anyone."_

"_You've said your piece now leave."_

"_Not yet. Alexander for all his abilities as a soldier has a soft heart for his 'pets'. When his hunting dog can no longer run he won't slit its throat but keeps it by him until it dies a natural death of old age – useless. That's you, Amyntoros – the pet that he will not cast away."_

"_Go to Hades, Cassander."_

"_When it is my time no doubt. But what can you expect now Hephaestion? Your 'relationship' has lasted far longer than anyone expected it to or what it should have; I'll admit with your beauty few of us question why Alexander is still so enamoured. But he's king now…"_

"_Really, I hadn't noticed that."_

"…_and you are in the way. He can be a great king, far greater than Philip who after all was a pig of a man; Alexander is better educated and more cultured yet with the fighting spirit of a true Macedonian. I can see that much as I loathe admitting it. And I can also see his weakness – you."_

"_I am Alexander's friend, Cassander, in word, deed and heart. I follow wherever he leads as whatever he needs me to be for his benefit."_

"_I don't doubt your loyalty or your ability to be his yes man at every opportunity and genuinely believe in him. But in that you make a laughing stock of 'your Alexander' – his love for you will make him appear weak in the eyes of our enemies – your relationship is already the talk of Athens as I am sure you are aware from your relations there."_

_That much was certainly true. My father had already been advised of the talk in the agora, put about by Demosthenes himself by all accounts, of Alexander's lover and how he controlled the Prince, and now the King. Untrue but they didn't care about the truth. To have Cassander confirm it to me meant that Antipater was also aware of the sneering gossip. With Alexander needing to show he was a king to be reckoned with by the Athenians and Thebans this sort of 'story' would not help; the riotous exaggerations of Theopompas of what went on here at the Macedonian court would only be given confirmation – to the shock of Athens; they discouraged or more likely ignored relationships between co-evals, designating the only correct form of love to be between an older man who would teach the younger the ways of war and politics. Alexander and I were of an age so we had never fitted that example and had never cared what others thought. But now everything was different…_

"_You understand me, don't you? You know you can never be the friend in the background because he will never allow that; where he loves and it is returned, he never gives that person up. You will have to do it for him."_

"_What can you know of love, Cassander? You're nothing but ice inside – cold, ruthless ambition rules your heart. What I feel for Alexander is so far above your understanding."_

"_No it's not! I understand it only too well. I also know that you agree with me! This can't go on. There's only one thing you can do for your king now. The question is, have you the courage to do it?"_

_I watched him walk away from me, his words like a pain in my heart that would not go away. Turning myself I headed towards my own room and once there closed the door behind me grateful that Alexander had given me one of my own away from the rest, close to his own. Right then I needed a drink and saw the flagon set beside a platter of food. I smiled, knowing who had had this sent for me. Amongst all his other concerns he made time to ensure an errant friend did not go hungry. Ignoring the food I started on the wine, unwatered, drinking three deep cups one after the other before I stripped off my chiton and crawled into bed and waited for Hypnos to take me._

_I was woken by the sense of a familiar scent and hands caressing my body. Opening my eyes I met the glittering ones of Alexander, caught by the lamp he had placed beside the bed, looking down into mine, his lips hovering above my own until they met in a deep kiss. I relaxed under him letting him know I wanted him for this night more than I could ever say by deepening the kiss, tongues meeting together, hands caressing, clawing and kneading; his clothing went quickly then we were two naked bodies wrapped up in each other until we became one as he entered me, making us whole once more. Our moans and cries seemed a chorus of song to my ears as my body was taken over by sensation and pleasure that made my breath come in short pants and my head spin. I finally came coating our sweating bodies whilst he filled me with his own seed before collapsing on top of me._

"_Are you putting on weight?" I asked ruefully once I could breathe again._

"_What's wrong? You weren't at dinner and I notice you still haven't eaten anything – that's not like you unless you're worried about something."_

_Wriggling out from under him so we could lay facing each other I took in that face I knew better than my own; the heavy brow and hair falling from its peak in a tawny bronze mane that framed high cheekbones, largish nose, full lipped mouth and eyes so lovely that they melted you at a glance or turned you to stone, depending on his mood. Now they were soft, deep lidded and looking into mine with concern. Brushing away a random lock of hair from his face I smiled at him, hopefully not giving away my true feelings at that moment._

"_You sound like my mother, sire. Ouch!"_

"_I'm serious."_

"_I've had a lot to think about Xander, as have you. I needed to be alone for a while, that's all. Nothing to be concerned about."_

"_But I am. I missed you."_

"_You've been in council all day – I couldn't be there…"_

"_You will be from now on…"_

"_Alexander!"_

"_I mean it. I need your honesty; I can't trust them to tell me the truth only what they think I want to hear."_

_I nodded understanding, recognising this need and knowing I was probably the only one who could give it to him and who he would accept it from. But Cassander's words still haunted me._

"_Antipater and Parmenion served your father loyally as they will you; they are the men you should listen to."_

"_As king, yes. But as Alexander – for that I need you, Phai."_

"_Of course." He smiled at my response and then snuggled down beside me to sleep. Taking him in my arms I would protect him that night against all cares, demons and his own destiny. Tomorrow it would be the responsibility of someone else…_

Alexander 

I couldn't understand what was worrying him; he had become so distant those past days, not only physically but emotionally too.

_My father's murder had thrown me into a dark place and I needed Hephaestion more than ever. Yet my mother and the Companions kept him away from me; they told me he could no longer be more than a friend to me, one of many. That he had to prove his abilities the same as everyone else (as if we didn't know that and he hadn't already done that at Chaeronea) by earning his rank on merit. I knew what they thought – that I would place him high at court because we are lovers. And so I will, but not for that reason. Hephaestion is my rock, my sanity but he is also intelligent and will be a capable officer with other talents than just killing; he's a born engineer and architect and so well organised he would run the army far better than some of my father's logistics officers have done. These things an army needs to survive in a shape and morale that will give them victories. Not all Macedonians are at their most useful on a battlefield, as Antipater daily proved; and my Phai would fulfil that role perfectly in time. _

_I'm not such a fool as to place him above the rest immediately – they would only pull him down as a wolf pack does its prey. I need to allow him to show them what he's capable of on his own. But it was so hard to stand aside whilst he was insulted, ignored or despised; I had no help from him either as he is a proud man and his pride is brittle at best – he pushed himself beyond the required limits of an officer because he was my lover and felt he had to be twice as brave, twice as capable as any other so they would never, openly, accuse him of getting his rank through my bed. Yet they still believed that no matter what he did because they were small men; jealous men who did not understand that we were and always will be one. I cannot function properly, effectively without him and neither can he. So why does he listen to them? Why did he pull away from me when I needed him the most?_

_Mother had spoken to me about my love for him and said it was time it evolved into something else or, better yet, ended altogether; that I must now take a wife and beget an heir for the kingdom before I left on the Asian campaign and no one must stand between me and that goal. As if he would ever do that. We had discussed my marriage and the reasons for it on many occasions and I had his full support in it – when _I_ decided to marry. And not before._

_Wives and children would mean precious little if I lost control of the kingdom and Greece; a new king was always the signal for the northern tribes to revolt and Thebes and Athens would soon start to pull away from Macedonian control and tell others that the kingdom is now weak and ripe to be attacked. War must come first, mother, or I would have an heir to nothing._

_The envoys who stayed for the funeral were already quietly plotting, I could see it in their eyes – all they saw was a young man not yet twenty who had to prove himself to his father's army and ensure that it would follow him as assuredly as it did the late king. Which cannot be denied. But they had forgotten I had already led these men against their own precious cities at Chaeronea; served in sieges with them and taken them to Thrace when barely sixteen. These things my men remembered even as Athens conveniently forgot the oath she took barely a year before my father's murder when I had taken the Athenian dead back to their city. Democracy has a very short memory._

_But before I could even consider what the League would do I had decisions to make of a more personal nature. It was never made clear by Philip that I was to be his successor, especially after the Carian debacle – and there I should have listened to Hephaestion – when he never really trusted me again. He married my half sister Cynna to my cousin Amyntas, the nephew that had been deposed as a child because the army needed an adult king, but now an adult, a soldier, pure Macedonian in blood and the 'true' king. He had never liked me and those last few months of my father's life he had made it particularly clear what his feelings were; I ignored him but Phai drew my attention to the man's attitude and I saw the naked hunger for power where before he was a broken man. Now he was one with hope, hope given him by my father._

_Then there was Eurydike and her child to consider, another threat to my throne; her uncle Attalus would surely back her against me and he was in a safe place in Asia with his own forces. I had already been told by Hephaestion and his father that their Athenian relatives had proof Attalus was writing to Demosthenes – once again the house of Amyntor watched where I could not; my shield as always. Why mother is so blind to this is beyond me._

_Perhaps it is jealousy. She loved my father passionately but could never bear to share him with others and so decided I was to be wholly hers, none of his. And Hephaestion became her next target as soon as our relationship became clear to her that we were lovers and he had become, in her mind, a new rival._

_Oh, mother, could you not see that I loved you but your never ending plotting and seeing threats that were not there actually made them come true, self-fulfilling prophesies. She pushed me away from the king when I should have been at his side and ensuring I would be his chosen successor by himself, the Companions and the army._

_But hindsight is so useful as I've realised these last few days; Hephaestion never believed, until recently, that Amyntas would ever supplant me as Philip's chosen heir. Though he never blamed mother to me I could see in his eyes what he felt and thought; those eyes as clear as a cloudless sky, a window to his soul – that is why he will always stand apart, eyes lowered, if we are ever in council so that they cannot read his thoughts in those depths: only I can do that when he turns them on me. However he has learnt to mask his feelings well even from me – and that worried me for he had never done so before. We had always been entirely honest with each other, brutally so at times. I tell him everything and he used to be the same. Now he has withdrawn from me. It started a few days after my father's murder. For safety's sake I have had him watched since we became lovers. My mother, I was told, had called him to her rooms. What did she tell him, I wondered? And then he argued with Cassander on a balcony. Why couldn't they all leave him alone, he was no threat to any of them. He did not appear at supper that evening so I sent some food and wine to his room and when I could get away from the generals I joined him there._

_It was late and he was asleep. Setting down the lamp I gazed at his sleeping face for a long time taking in the perfect features struggling with some dream or other, not relaxed as they usually were. I caressed his face, moving to a naked shoulder and arm tracking the scar left there from a boar hunt we had been on four years ago when he had saved Nearchus from being gored, testament to his courage._

_It woke him and he smiled up at me lips slightly parted which I took in a kiss, gentle at first but becoming more demanding as the cover fell from him to reveal his body to me, golden in the light of the lamp. He is so beautiful, my Phai; graceful and sleek, and just as dangerous, as a mountain lion but also protective as a wolf with her cubs when it came to me or anyone else he loves. He relaxed pulling at my clothing until I lay between his long legs, naked and aroused. Our love making was slow at first, enjoying everything about the other's body, finding the places with a kiss, a caress, even a bite that gave the most pleasure until neither of us could wait any longer and I entered him, joining with myself, bonding our souls together once more._

_Our talk after did not wholly remove my concerns especially at the sight of dried tears on his face in the morning light. Why did he cry? I did not ask him as he awoke then and shooed me out before the rest of the palace was awake – sometimes he truly forgets who I am! Which is why I love him so much; he sees me as Alexander, not as 'prince' or King – at least when we are alone. In public he is always correctly deferential._

_On the day of the funeral I watched him, standing to the side with Leonnatus – whom I demoted from the Bodyguard to quash any rumours he was implicated in the plot because he killed Pausanias before he could be questioned. I had no doubts to his loyalty and understood it had been his anger that had cost me valuable information – whether it would have been information I really wanted was another matter. Discipline required me to take some action against the men who were detailed to guard the King and demotion was the most I would go to. After all Philip himself had told them to stay outside as he did not want the Greek envoys to think he needed guards wherever he went. Ironic._

"_Perhaps its for the best, Xander." Phai had said quietly to me the day of the murder. "Now there is only rumour not hard facts to prove any involvement."_

_Yes – no proof that my mother had organised, or at least condoned, the slaughter of her own husband. But we both knew the truth of that anyway, what need was there for any information Pausanias could have given?_

_Black suits Hephaestion. The reddish hair and smooth, tanned skin shown to great affect by the darkness of the chalmys and chiton – made from the best cloth, chosen by myself for him. I like to see him finely dressed though it always makes him squirm. There is no vanity there._

"_Can you at least wait until you have a wife and a harem – those you can dress up all you like!"_

_The memory of that brought a smile to my lips, which I suppressed but not quickly enough to avoid the hawk eyes of Antipater's son, Cassander. Hades – that would fuel more gossip that I may have wanted my father's death. I catch Phai staring at me and saw the almost imperceptible shake of his lovely head in admonition. That was more the old Phai! I hoped that whatever had been worrying him had been resolved. _

_I made the sacrifices then strode forward and lit my father's pyre. I shed no tears. I did not love him at the end and I would not lie even there. But I never sought his death. Wished for it a few times as any heir might do but never did anything, in thought or deed, to hurry the day. If I had wanted to do so I would have chosen a far better time and place than my sister's wedding celebrations and Aegae. We were due to go on campaign – surely a better time would have been then when the army had gotten used to me and an 'accident' could have been arranged? No one thinks of these things._

_The pyre burnt well, the omens were acceptable and so I said farewell to my father and returned to the palace; the ashes would be sent to Vergina and interred in the superb tomb I was planning for him. After all he had made Macedon what it was – a power to be reckoned with. And he had given me the best army in the world. I broke my fast with Antipater and Cleitus, Leonnatus and Polyperchon but Hephaestion had disappeared again, after I had specifically requested him to attend. It was unlike him to ignore a direct command especially when he had agreed to come before witnesses. The food turned heavy in my gut and bile filled my mouth._

_No it was not like him at all so something was stopping him attending. Quietly I signed to Cleitus to accompany me as I made mumbled excuses and left heading for Hephaestion's rooms at a fast walk, sweating with fear of what I would find there._


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Second Chapter sorry about confusion but I've forgotten how to actually update stories so if anyone can send me an idiots guide - HELP

**Hepheastion POV**

_It's a strange sensation, watching yourself. I was up somewhere near the ceiling of my room looking down on my own body in the bath, the water as red as a good diluted wine. How I came to be there was slowly coming back to me._

_I had left the funeral and returned to my room to prepare for the banquet. A bath was all ready for me though I had not requested one – I assumed it had been on the king's orders and it would warm me up. Though I hated the things the old King had put his son through yet he had always been kind and fair to me even though not agreeing with my relationship with his son. And he was a great king of Macedon; I owed him duty and obedience; the funeral had upset me more than I realised._

_Stripping I sank into the water letting its warmth surround and calm me down. Beside the tub on a small stool was a flagon of wine and I drank deeply enjoying the flavour and letting it warm my mind as the water was doing to my body. I became drowsy and fell asleep._

_That was all I could recall until I found myself floating about the ceiling and watching the blood drain from my slashed writs. Had I done it then, what I had intended after my conversation with Cassander, committed suicide? Surely I had decided that very morning after Alexander had left me that I was needed more alive, whatever position I held with the king. Perhaps not._

_Then the door had burst open and Alexander rushed in calling my name. I was surprised to see Cleitus there, even more so that he quickly closed the door and ran to the king who had found my body in the bath and let out the beginnings of an ear shattering scream until stopped by one of the Black's huge hands clamped across his mouth._

"_Quiet, boy! No need to tell the whole world what he has done, you owe him that. Do you understand?"_

_I saw Alexander nod then they were lifting me out of the bath and laying me on the floor, Alexander feeling my neck for a pulse before putting his ear to my chest._

"_He's alive Cleitus! Get Philippos! Be…"_

"_I know, I know." Cleitus stood up and went for the door, closing it quietly behind him, whilst Alexander tore up my discarded chiton to use for bandages and tied them tightly about my slashed writes, all the time saying the same thing over and over again. "Why, why, why?"_

_Why indeed I asked myself coming down from the ceiling at last to stand next to him. I tried to reach out and touch his hair but I couldn't – I had no hands! Cleitus then returned with the doctor and they heaved me up (surely I was not so heavy) as best they could onto the bed before Philippos unwrapped one of the bandages to exam the wound._

"_Do you want to die, Hephaestion?"_

_The voice came from behind me and I jumped at the sound, swinging about to see a man standing next to the bath, dressed in a long robe, his dark hair tied back, a beard covering a face that held twinkling blue eyes above a hawk like nose – he never blinked once, merely stared at me._

"_I thought I did – thought it would be the best for him. But I don't remember doing it. I'm sure I changed my mind. Who are you? Why can't the others see you? Are you dead, like myself?"_

_He laughed a joyous sound that the three other men in the room ignored so they were not aware of either of us. "You're not dead, beautiful. That's why I'm here – to find out if you should or want to die."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_Let's just say I'm someone, well, high up in the next life that tends to poke his nose in where he shouldn't on occasion."_

"_And this is one of those occasions?"_

"_Oh, definitely. And you haven't answered my question."_

I looked at my Alexander sitting on the bed cradling my head in his lap, stroking back my hair and tracing the features of my face one by one with his finger tips, rocking to and fro. Cleitus was also watching him intently and I saw there something I never believed possible in the Black – fear. He saw what I did, that his king was teetering on the abyss of insanity and he was powerless to stop it. Could I?

"Doctor – can you do anything?" I heard Cleitus growl.

"_He's lost a great deal of blood but there is a spark of life left – if he wants to live. If he's determined to die then…"_

"_He's right." My strange companion commented dryly. "Not bad for a doctor."_

_I looked at him steadily, coming to a decision._

"_I don't know who you are but if you can get me back there," and I pointed at my damp, naked and inert, blood smeared body, "I'd be eternally grateful."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because he needs me; look at him! Without me he will go mad and that's not ego talking. The kingdom will lose possibly the greatest king they will ever have."_

"_If that is so why did you ever contemplate killing yourself?"_

"_I – we are lovers; that has to end now he's king and I, well…"_

"_Is sex so important to you, Hephaestion?"_

"_I'm barely twenty what do you think? No – our friendship is more than that; but I had been told by more than one I would be a hindrance to him and I let them sway me with their words for a while; no longer – I see my path clearly now and it is by his side, whatever our 'relationship' is. He's too important in the scheme of things to be destroyed by my moment of weakness."_

"_And?"_

"_And because I love him more than myself."_

"_That's the spirit, no pun intended. You see what I see and why I came here – your Alexander is destined for greatness. But Hephaestion, it will come at a terrible cost, to both him and yourself and a lot more besides. Are you prepared for that?"_

_I watched the golden mane bent over me and I knew I would follow him to Hades and back, whether he kicked me out of his life or cherished me as a used up pet; it didn't matter, not really._

"_Yes I am. I'm still shocked that I was so weak after all to do this."_

"_As to that – listen."_

_Philippos was examining my other wrist, the bleeding having stopped, before he sewed up the wounds and sucked in his breath. Looking about he noticed the wine flagon by the bath and ordered Cleitus to bring it to him; he sniffed it and tasted it on his tongue then hurriedly spat it out._

"_My liege, sire! Alexander!"_

_My king raised his head slowly to meet the eyes of the doctor, dark grey and dull as death._

"_He did not attempt suicide of this I'm sure. General Cleitus, can you fetch an animal – dog or cat makes no difference."_

"_What?"_

"_I need to test this wine, man, now go!"_

_Cleitus ran from the room looking as perplexed as I was myself. I was not at all pleased when he returned hauling my favourite hunting dog on a leash. If there was poison in the wine couldn't he have at least chosen someone else's dog – such as Cassander?_

_The doctor mixed the wine with some milk a slave had brought with my meal last night and put it down for Charon who lapped at it hungrily. Within moments he was flat out on his side, snoring, Cleitus listening to his heart._

"_He's alive – just fast asleep. Gods, can he snore."_

"_Exactly. Sire, the Lord Hephaestion has been the victim of an assassination attempt."_

_Alexander's eyes finally found life and took fire as the doctor explained to us (well, them really) how the angle of the cuts on my wrists could never have been done by myself and had to have been inflicted by a third party when I was unconscious after drinking the wine._

"_It was cleverly done to make it appear as if he had committed suicide, your majesty."_

"_Will he live?"_

"_He's young and strong; if the will is there, yes he will live."_

_I swung about to the man beside me. He smiled at me "Farewell, Hephaestion – until we meet again." Then all went black._

_I heard voices near me; felt cold to my bones and a lot of pain; a hand was stroking my forehead. Slowly opening my eyes I was back in my body staring straight into grey eyes above my own as I had only the night before but in totally different circumstances._

"_Alexander." My voice was a mere whisper; my throat dry and dusty and I tried to lift a hand to him but failed. "I didn't…"_

"_I know, my love; I know." As he bent to kiss me he started to cry._

**Alexander** **POV**

_Philippos sewed up those awful wounds and bandaged them tightly. We dried Phai off, brought in two braziers and clothed him in practically every thing he had, topped off by the wolf-skin cloak I had had made for him only that past winter – he was always colder than I, not having suffered the Spartan training of Leonidas that made me almost impervious to it. Arranging for a warm meal and mulled wine to be sent to him immediately, first tasted carefully by a slave, I left him in the capable hands of the doctor whilst I went to speak to the person who had almost taken the one thing in this world I cherished more than my own life._

_She was sitting beside a fire, humming quietly, a half smile curving her full lips. I had not been to see her since my father's murder and our talk straight after when she had denied any involvement. I know the truth of it, as did she. When I entered she looked surprised but not shocked at my appearance – I had changed, as I did not wish to walk through the palace in blood-splattered clothes. I stood over her as she said nothing but looked at me with that half smile._

"_He's not dead, mother."_

_The smile slithered off her face as I leant over her until our noses were almost touching._

"_If you ever try that again or harm a hair on his head in any way, shape or form, I will kill you."_

_I was almost to the door before she found her voice._

"_I did it for you, Alexander. He's a weakness and cannot be trusted."_

"_He loves me."_

"_What is that but some tired poetical notion? You have the blood of Achilles in your veins but this is not the time of Achilles; man has become debased, ambitious, and greedy – he only wants you for what you can give him, my son, as they all do."_

_I laughed with no humour at her words. "Then why by all the gods have you been so determined to make me king? If all my 'friends' are no such thing, why would you want me to take on a life where you insist I must forever be alone?"_

"_You will never be alone, Alexander. I will be here for you and I do love you. All I ask is you be wary of those about you – and put aside Hephaestion for his good as well as your own."_

"_You threaten him still?"_

"_No – I will not touch him or make any such attempt again. But others will." Here she stopped and stared into the fire. "Yes, others will…perhaps I was wrong; perhaps he should stay with you…"_

"_And draw their fire from me? Gods – were you ever human?"_

_Her laugh was bitter and vicious. "I lived with that man who called himself your father for twenty years – I doubt I am human anymore except where I need to fight for my children and I will always do that."_

"_Mother – if you had fought less and loved more we would never have been in any danger."_

"_Don't be so naïve – you'll always be…"_

"_Enough! Stay out of this; stay away from my advisers and stay-away-from-Hephaestion!"_

"_Do you love him so much you would risk your throne, your reputation and your destiny for him, a boy, who I'll admit is intelligent and beautiful, but has no better discernable qualities than many other of your friends – except sycophancy."_

_I swung about from where I had been heading to the door and stormed over to her; the look on my face told her all I needed to say as she got up and backed into the wall. I was now taller than she and I had the pleasure of almost towering over her._

"_For him? I would give it all up and for him I would conquer the world. Does that answer your question?"_

"_And will he understand when you fall in love with a woman and want to marry that his place in your heart will be no more?"_

"_He will never be supplanted by any woman however much I may love her – Hephaestion is far more than just a paramour, can't you understand that? We're two halves of a whole; we may fight or fall out but we will never be parted."_

_She looked at me not with anger or contempt but pity!_

"_Then I feel sorry for you both – for you will know such pain of this love as well as the pleasure."_

"_Such is life, mother. I love you but if you force me to choose you will lose; I will choose Hephaestion without hesitation."_

_At last she understood what I was saying as the blood drained from her face; her eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped as if she would scream but no sound was uttered. I was satisfied with the result and left her still backed up against the wall._

**Hephaestion** **POV**

_"Let's try these on, Athenian."_

"_I wish you wouldn't keep calling me that Cleitus – I was born and raised here in Pella."_

"_But your family's Athenian, princess. Now how do they feel?"_

_Cleitus had strapped on two wrist guards of ornately carved leather wide enough to cover the bandages about my writs._

"_They feel good, thank you."_

"_Think you're strong enough to get up today? Alexander thinks it best you go home for a few days to recuperate without prying eyes."_

"_In that case I'm more than well enough." I swung my legs off the bed and readied myself to stand up._

_It had been two days since the attack and I was still a little light headed but Alexander and the doctor had been feeding me non-stop to build up my energy with anything sweet. I felt bloated and uncomfortable and definitely needed the latrine but I wasn't going to tell that to Cleitus._

"_Always said you have the best legs I've ever seen, Amyntoros."_

"_Cleitus!" I pulled down my clothes so my thighs were now covered, blushing like a schoolboy much to my horror and his amusement._

"_Need a crap before you go? Won't be much fun on a horse if you do."_

_Shamefacedly I nodded as my stomach chose that moment to cramp in that all too familiar way that tells you to get a move on. As I stood up the room decided to move with me; Cleitus grabbed me none too gently and held me up until everything stopped revolving then slowly walked me to the covered alcove where the private latrine was and mercifully left me to my business. I could hear him walking about singing a bawdy song at the top of his voice to spare any further blushes on my part. Why I was so embarrassed was a mystery to me – I'd been on campaign and there you took a crap along with everyone else in dug out latrines, affording no privacy; you either got used to it or became constipated. Perhaps I had become used to the comforts and privacy of the palace too much. Either way the relief now was bordering on orgasmic and I sighed with pleasure, using the water and cloth provided to clean myself – another luxury not available in camp._

_I stood up and almost fell through the hanging, straight into the waiting arms of my songbird._

"_That's lightened you up a bit! Let's get you back to the bed." He lifted me up as if I was no heavier than a feather and deposited me back on the bed before handing me some sweetened water._

"_Thank you, Cleitus."_

"_Anytime." I smiled at him and was startled when he leant down and kissed me on the lips, not exactly chaste but not overly sexual either._

"_Cleitus – why are you kissing my boyfriend?" said a quiet voice from the door. We both turned to see Alexander closing the door behind him and walking over to us with a smile on his face._

"_He's so weak, your majesty, I was just giving him some air to brighten his cheeks to a rosy glow."_

_I rolled my eyes and grinned at my lover who sat down beside me, putting an arm about my shoulders._

"_Your commitment to your duty is commendable, Cleitus, as was your evident pleasure in your work."_

"_Thank you, your majesty. I aim to please. Shall I go check the horses are ready?"_

_Alexander nodded and with a last wink at me the Black left us alone. As soon as the door closed behind him Alexander kissed me long and deep until I felt dizzy again but for a whole different reason. When he finally pulled away he got up and started to pace in front of me, a sure sign he had something difficult and unpleasant to communicate to me._

"_I know who tried to kill you, Phai but I cannot give you the satisfaction of vengeance however much it is your right. I'm sorry."_

_He knelt down in front of me, hands on my thighs, holding my gaze with his eyes. I knew who he meant._

"_She's been busy – two assassinations in one week. Do assassins come cheaper by the dozen?"_

"_Phai – she knows not to try it again. I've told her if any harm should come to you that cannot be explained I will kill her myself."_

_Gods, he meant it to. I shivered as the realisation hit me that I would need to be vigilant not only for Alexander and myself, but for his mother as well! I would need help._

"_I'm assigning to you three of the Royal Pages – train them as you see fit but make sure they understand their duties include protecting you – actually, I'll tell them that part."_

"_Alexander – promise me one thing with them, will you?"_

"_Anything Phai."_

"_Choose them for more than their looks."_

"_Phai!"_

"_Well, you do like a pretty face about you…"_

_He laughed at that, the first genuine laugh I'd heard from him in over a week and I was loath to break the mood but I needed him to understand something, a decision I was about to make for both of us._

"_Your mother spoke to me, Alexander; she talked of the need for you to marry and get an heir, that I stood in the way…"_

"_Hephaestion, no!"_

"…_and she might be right. Perhaps we should – stop – being – physical – lovers at any rate."_

"_You showed no reluctance for it a few nights ago."_

"_Of course I didn't; if it was left to me we'd be… that's not the point."_

"_Phai – would you want your child brought up by my mother?"_

"_Hades, no! Oh, yes – I see now." And I did, finally, understand his motives – he would never marry whilst in Macedon and near his mother._

"_Soon, Phai, we will leave for Asia and then it will be just you and me on a path to glory."_

"_Yes love - though we might find an army useful there, just for back up you understand, in case Darius won't surrender at the very sight of us both in our glory."_

"_Now I know you're feeling better."_

_I grinned at him before pulling him to me for a kiss._

"_Alexander we will conquer the world together with or without an army."_

_We were still in each other's arms when Cleitus returned to say the horses were ready to take me home._


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Putting up this chapter before I'm off to Dublin for a few days. Thanks to Kizzykat for review and Moon 71 for assist.

Chapter Three

PART ONE

**Hephaestion**

_Alexander solved any problems he had with rivals to the throne in the old Macedonian tradition by killing them. Amyntas was first on some trumped up charge but the army accepted this as sensible and condoned the sentence on him and the Lyncestis brothers. Attalus, who was in Asia with the advance force, was killed not because he was a rival for the throne but because he was Attalus and had signed his own death warrant at the wedding of his niece – he could hardly have expected any other outcome once he knew Alexander had been elected king; his men were calmed by Parmenion who immediately let his support for Alexander be known so we had no further concerns there._

_Eurydike and the baby also died by the order of Olympias; she made the poor girl watch as the child was killed then offered the grieving mother a rope or poison – the girl chose the former. Alexander had reluctantly agreed with me that the baby had to go but he never intended to harm Eurydike. I realised then how lucky I had been to escape Olympias' plans for me; since the attack we had been coldly polite to each other and were never left alone together. _

_He did give me the pages much to the disgust of Philotas and Cassander who saw it as the first sign of my promotion to out rank them because I shared the king's bed. No one except Cleitus knew of the attempt on my life and I was glad for it to stay that way; so the precaution of giving me pages would look like a favourite already benefiting from his lover's bounty. The pages he chose were all from local families that I knew – Acton, Hero and Damon – all around fifteen years of age; intelligent and plain (of course he'd keep the best looking for himself). I realised I could train them to suit me. I wanted pages that could think for themselves and take on responsibility as well as following orders. It would be my responsibility to train them as officers for the army even though I had no senior rank as yet._

_This was something I was adamant on – I would get my rank as and when I deserved it, by merit and my abilities, not because of who I was to the king. And give Alexander his due he told me straight I would not be promoted or given any assignment he did not think I was fit for. Macedon was competitive to its core, in the hunt, in battle and in ambition – the world of the _Iliad_ brought to life, still living by those Homeric tenets. To an Athenian it was backward and barbaric; to a Macedonian the only way to judge whether a man was worthy and could show his metal amongst his peers. If I did not follow those precepts I would have no authority over the men and Alexander, in appointing an incompetent, would lose any degree of authority he had – the men had to know all had an equal chance if they could show their worth. It allowed him to discipline them more effectively too. Any who showed less than willing were put in a separate regiment and shamed before their fellow soldiers – it made them work the harder, fight the more courageously until they outshone the rest and buried their dishonour._

Naturally I accepted smaller symbols of his affection – a horse, dogs, new armour, nicer tent and clothes (he was determined to dress me up on every occasion) – he gave to the other officers and men too, but I'll admit I got the most. No one could refuse when they saw his face alight with anticipation as he handed over the gift or led you to where a horse or a dog was kept – he was in love with giving as much as he was in love with receiving love in return from the army, his friends and me. They rarely let him down.

_It took over a year to explain to the Athenians, the Thebans and northern tribes that Macedon was still very much there, thank you very much, and that Alexander was not to be trifled with. The northern tribes accepted him fairly easily (more or less) but Thebes decided to be stubborn and so she was besieged: immediately her erstwhile ally, Athens, repudiated her treaty with the beleaguered city and sent envoys to Alexander asking for clemency. He made them watch as Thebes burned and her population was marched off to be sold into slavery before agreeing – it was a lesson they learned though that did not stop them from gnashing their teeth occasionally._

_Alexander appointed Antipater as Regent in Macedon, much to his mother's disgust who had actually expected to be given that job herself! Their argument resounded through the palace that night. When he finally came to me our lovemaking was rough bordering on the brutal as he purged his anger at her out of his system – we made love to each other for most of the night and slept late the next day, a rare occurrence for both of us which was noted. It was one way of avoiding an irate parent set on a rampage. He sent her a gift but did not go to her himself until the day before our departure. _

_We didn't go alone after all but were accompanied by nearly forty thousand infantry and some five thousand cavalry. One person we didn't take was Cassander who was to stay and assist his father, much to his anger. Few of us cried over the fact. I was to be in the Bodyguard so I could fight beside Alexander. When we reached Troy he also appointed me one of the Seven, the Somatophylkes, bodyguards whose soul duty was to protect the king at all times – what better place to guard him if not in his bed?_

_We sailed across the Hellespont and landed safely after a little bit of theatrics; Alexander, dressed in parade armour, standing in the prow of the first ship, threw his spear across the water to thud into the sandy beach – a symbol to claim the land as his own, as they had done in the _Iliad. _Then we moved on to Troy itself, a place every man in that army had heard of and wanted to see, to say they had been there and had stood on the same ground as Agamemnon and Achilles. To say we were disappointed would be an understatement._

_Of course we knew the city was gone, Philip's scouts had said that much two years previously; but we had hoped for something more than a small, mud brick village surrounding a stone temple. However, the locals were accommodating and knew when to play up the legend of their 'city' for all it was worth. They took us to the temple of Athena and here Alexander dedicated his best armour, in return being given panoply that was supposed to date from the Trojan Wars themselves. I doubted this more for my concern that it would hardly stop a stone let alone a spear thrust. He was also given something truly impressive – the Shield of Achilles, reputedly made by Hephaistios himself ( here Alexander grinned at me and said the gift was appropriate as he already had 'Hephaestion' – his humour was always suspect.); it was made of bronze, emblazoned with raised moulding depicting scenes from the myths and the gods. They also offered him the lyre of Paris but that was politely declined._

_The next day we paid homage to Achilles and Patroclus in a ceremony that would state our relationship clearly in front of the army and the Staff._

_Laying the wreaths on the respective tombs, Alexander and I stripped and ran a course around them twice, joined by the other officers on the second lap. Aristander took the omens and blessed our union in words devised by Alexander and myself. It was our oath to one another in emulation of the Sacred Band's to Heracles. In our hearts we were bonded that day forever and our bodies united that night before the tombs and under the stars in homage to the spirits of Achilles and Patroclus; they accepted our sacrifice in more ways than one and followed us through all our trials and tribulations._

_To every Macedonian in the army it was clearly understood what we had done that day; the Leaguers thought it more 'theatrics' to appease the gods and amuse the locals. Naturally the news was sent to Athens and Demosthenes used it as a base from which to launch a vitriolic attack on the king and his 'male' courtesan. Antipater sent him a terse message that he should 'learn to hold your tongue or a Macedonian army will come and teach you – personally.' The man was swiftly gagged by the rest of the Agora but I doubted it was of a permanent nature._

_Meeting up with Parmenion's force we moved on into Asia and met a force of Persians and Greek mercenaries at the River Granicus. This would be Alexander's first major battle not only in Asia but with the bulk of the men. If he failed here the consequences would be catastrophic. Naturally he never even considered the possibility._

"_Why should I fail? Our numbers are fairly evenly matched…"_

"_And the river bank? It's steep Alexander; the horses will have difficulties…"_

"_Not if Parmenion draws their attention away to the left. The men are ready for a fight and I've announced prizes for the first cavalryman up that bank – it should give them an incentive, to command an _ila _of their own."_

_My major concern was not a prize but keeping him alive. It was worse than useless to ask him to be careful – he would be at the forefront whatever I said. As a true Macedonian king should be. Philip was, at heart, an infantry commander and that is where he always fought; but my Alexander had chosen the cavalry as his position from when we were mere boys – he was a natural cavalryman. But the shock tactics of Macedonian cavalry were dangerous in more ways than fighting in a phalanx. For the most part you were on your own once the squadron broke through; bitter hand to hand fighting amongst terrified horses and frightened men with little or no room to manoeuvre in the melee._

_But gods was it exhilarating. Your blood sang along with the paean; your body became one with the horse's motion between your legs as you charged – it was almost a sensual experience, definitely arousing, topped by the rush of fighting for your life. No sane man would chose that life; fortunately few in the Companion Cavalry were any saner than their leader Alexander – I know I wasn't but there was always the fear, tucked away in a quiet corner of my heart, that he would be killed. But that was something I had to learn to accept or leave him. So I stayed as close as I could knowing he felt the same of me and that if either of us were to fall, the other would not long survive._

_The battle played out almost exactly as Alexander expected – his luck held true in that the Persians were green and did not take advantage of their knowledge of the area or tactical position. Attacking across a river is not the wisest thing or easiest to accomplish but we did it, driving up the embankment and hitting their flank, cutting through to the Persian leaders where Alexander dispatched one with a mighty spear throw. It was then that I nearly lost him when another Persian came up behind him – I was too far away, fighting two men at once who were trying to spear Aries, but I saw Cleitus come out of nowhere and sever the Persian's arm at the shoulder, thus saving his king's life._

_Back in the camp I made sure my horse was attended then checked to see if my pages had survived. All were alive with a few cuts and bruises they were boasting about. Then I went to look for Alexander. He was at the hospital tent talking to the wounded, oblivious to the blood dripping from a wound in his thigh, of their exploits that day. I watched him go and speak to them all eventually from my place at the entrance until a surgeon noticed me._

"_You're bleeding, Commander Hephaestion."_

"_Am I?" I hadn't noticed the sword slash across my own thigh until he spoke and sat down to allow him to attend to me. It was deep but not so bad and he started to stitch it up._

"_Be more careful of those legs, Athenian. You know they're my favourite part of you."_

"_I'll bear that in mind General for next time. Cleitus – thank you."_

_He nodded with a smile. We had no reason to say more._

_Alexander limped over then and the surgeon tutted at him before going to fetch Philippos to attend the king himself. We compared wounds as Cleitus hunkered down beside us._

"_Can't you stop copying me, Alexander, and get a wound in a different place?"_

"_But mine's bigger than yours."_

_Our laughter filled the place and I saw how it brightened up the men to see their king smiling and happy; those near grinned at the joke – all but Philotas, who was there with a splinter in his hand from a broken spear; his face was like thunder and glaring at either me or the king with such fury until he noticed me watching him and turned away._

"_What's up his ass?" I asked Cleitus whilst Alexander was being tended by Philippos._

"_What isn't? Not happy with demotion from second in command since daddy's return. Oh, yes, he also lost his horse today and had to watch as a certain lovely Athenian showed him how a real horseman can actually stay on the bloody horse whilst climbing an escarpment."_

"_Cleitus, you're making me blush – however true your words are."_

_Alexander and I limped back to his tent, ate a little then slept like the dead in each other's arms. The next day we held the funeral rites for the fallen and sent off the surviving Greek mercenaries we had captured to Macedon. Their fate was not an enviable one and many, I suspected, wished they had died with their comrades – but they were traitors, fighting fellow Greeks for their Persian paymasters. However, we failed in capturing their leader, Memnon, but he was not beaten yet as we found when we turned our attention to Halicarnassos._

**Alexander** **POV**

_I gained another mother! Queen Ada of Halicarnassos adopted me as her son and as a dutiful offspring I gave back her throne. I know that was what she wanted all along but our love for each other was sincere if somewhat embarrassing. She insisted on sending me presents of food and clothing which I passed on to the Staff or pages – Hephaestion flatly refused to take any more clothes or sweetmeats after the first three days of this. That man can be as stubborn as a pack of mules and when he put his foot down nothing could shift him. And he always looked stunning in Persian silks, which he would only wear when we were safely alone. For a man of such beauty he is the least vain person I know._

_It was good to see him settling in with the other officers; he had shown himself to be courageous and a good fighter on the campaign and this went a long way with Macedonians; the Somatophylkes accepted him almost immediately and considered him their commander, which I made official. Keeping him in the Royal Bodyguard meant he would not be given a command of his own and that pleased Philotas and Craterus. However that will change. He had qualities and talents I needed to use for the good of the expedition and he couldn't fulfil those as a glorified bodyguard. But the old guard was too deeply entrenched within the army then, too used to my father's ways for me to start making such changes, as they were still wary of me._

_They would have been even less sure if they had known all my plans but Hephaestion counselled patience and prudence; I agreed as it fitted with my needs for the time being. I would play the Hegemon of the League – only in Asia to free the Greek cities and exact revenge for the Persians burning of Athens. Once I was in a position with the army and a few more victories under my belt I would end the pretence. For even then I meant to take the Persian Empire in its entirety and end their threat to Greece once and for all. This had not been my father's intent and I knew Parmenion would balk at it like an old horse being taught new tricks. As Hephaestion said, "Once the army is yours, body and soul, then you can act with or without Parmenion's support."_

_The man has so much common sense that I found it hard to understand how others still believed he was unworthy to be an officer. If it had been up to me I would have made him my second-in-command straight after the fight at Granicus but he would never have accepted it; he would tell me it would cause difficulties in morale – we had an army where deeds and merit took first place not rank or who you were. That was why it could defeat anything in its path, especially a conscript army forced to fight for a king they never saw let alone knew. I could not jeopardise that uniqueness, the sense of élan, for one man, however much I loved him and believed he deserved the rank. He had to prove his abilities to the army in the time honoured way – by his own actions._

_Whilst we were 'guests' of Queen Ada Hephaestion engrossed himself in the plans for the re-building of the city after Memnon burned it to cover his retreat. The citizens were more than willing to assist us. It would give us a good supply base and somewhere to retreat to if the worst came to the worst. I gave that little thought; my destiny seemed so clear at times that I wondered why Darius did not simply get it over with and surrender as he would have to eventually – but then that would have been too easy and there would have been no glory._

_I solved the Gordian Knot problem. They told me that whoever could unravel the knot and find the end would become King of all Asia; I already knew I was that man and hardly needed an old knot to verify it but we went to view it out of politeness sake anyway. It was indeed an old cart covered in years of dust, rain and mud. I only gave it a slight kick to emphasise my words that I "would conquer Asia without its help" when the whole thing collapsed in a cloud of dust at my feet! Once the dust had cleared and we had stopped coughing I saw the end of the knot clearly and pulled it up._

_Hephaestion, Cleitus and Ptolemy were staring at me too straight faced so I knew they were trying hard not to laugh at the sight of the poor custodian on his knees before me calling on the gods to witness the miracle I had performed and that I would be 'Lord of Asia'. Well, it's always nice to get confirmation even when it's not needed. Naturally I spent that evening as the butt of constant jokes about how powerful my kicks were and was I, perhaps, related to any mules they knew?_

_As Hephaestion had been the main culprit with the questionable humour I let him know later that night I was more stallion than mule and I was gratified the next day to see how gingerly he mounted his horse – which had the added benefit of drawing the humour of Ptolemy and Cleitus onto him for the day instead of me. Whoever said vengeance isn't sweet?_

_My sense of destiny and almost divine inspiration could be considered as hubris by the gods and they certainly showed me I was mortal. We had passed through the Cilicean Gates with no trouble much to Cleitus' disgust who was itching for another fight. However the hunting was good and gave us exercise when we couldn't find any local tribes to fight; the men competed against each other in deeds of valour or foolhardiness depending on your point of view. Two men in Perdiccas' brigade attacked a village single-handedly and managed to carry off the chief before any of his guards were even aware of any danger. He submitted immediately and I rewarded the two with a dressing down in private and a promotion in public. They would make fine officers._

_Hephaestion had gone ahead to find us a good campsite, redeploy the scouts for the next stage and try to find where Darius was skulking; he also arranged for supplies to meet us there from various depots he had organised for just such a purpose. I followed with the bulk of the army cleaning up any rebels or troops we found until we rode into the well-set up camp sweaty, dusty and tired. I was hot and sticky and looked at the river, next to which the camp had been set up, with eager anticipation. Without thinking I stripped off my armour and waded into the stream – it was cold; too cold as it was snow water from the mountains and my over heated body reacted against such a temperature change. Even as I heard Hephaestion yelling at me not to be a 'damn fool, Alexander!" I felt the first shivers rend my body. By the time I crawled out of the river my teeth were chattering and I couldn't stop shaking. Wrapping me up in blankets he had snatched from anyone nearby Hephaestion half walked, half carried me to my tent, calling out to my pages to get the doctor and place braziers around my bed as well as mulling some wine._

_Philippos arrived post haste but by then I was unaware of anything. Their voices were thick and far away, the brazier only hazy brightness. No one's face was distinct anymore and I cried out, or tried to, for Hephaestion._

"_I'm here Alexander, I'm here. Feel my hand."_

"_D..o..n't."_

"_I'm not going anywhere, my love, I'm here."_

_A cup was put to my lips and I forced myself to drink then fell into blackness. When I awoke my stomach was on fire and I couldn't stop vomiting or needing to crap. Hephaestion true to his word stayed with me, helping me to the pot or holding back my hair as I wretched, then cleaning me up for how many days I couldn't tell. Then I began to feel better and refused to take any more medicine. Big mistake. My lover had slept less than four hours in the past three days and was in no mood to pander to my invalid's sulks. I got a black eye to add to my woes, took the medicine he thrust into my hand and vowed never to try that again – or at least when my beloved Hephaestion was nursing me. I sent him to get some sleep but he just curled up on my bed instead and slept for half a day, in much of which I joined him._

_The scouts reported that Darius was mustering a huge army, telling them that my delay was due to fear of them and not illness. That pissed me off. We marched immediately and hit the Issus River to find no Persians. Here I settled the wounded and a large part of the baggage whilst we went in search of our foe. Afraid was I? What we didn't realise was that as we marched south; Darius was paralleling our course but going north. All he found was the hospital._

_Hephaestion's scouts returned telling me of my error and I swung the army about and headed back to Issus under a forced march._

_If I had ever doubted my old tutor's belief in the barbarity of the Persians what greeted me and the army at the camp removed any such doubts. Where they had not killed outright they had mutilated – hands, feet, noses and ears hacked off dead and dying men incapable of defending themselves; the garrison I had left crucified alive. If Darius expected this to frighten my men he only succeeded in the opposite and razing such a rage in their hearts against his people they were ready to slaughter any and every Persian in sight. This rage never truly dissipated as the campaign continued, much to my disappointment and problems later. Darius had given them a reason beyond all reasons to fight, not run away, and ensure they would win; anger, if controlled, is a powerful, unstoppable emotion that could wipe out the influence of Phobos._

_We were outnumbered at the Issus but this now meant nothing to the army. I set up our usual positions, saw that Darius' men were still alert and probably expecting a night attack so I told my officers to let the men sleep. I spent the evening with the staff going over the plans for the following day until I dismissed them to get some sleep. As soon as they had all trooped out Hephaestion snuck into my tent and we had a quiet supper together as I went over the plans with him for the morrow._

"_Alexander, enough. You're repeating yourself."_

"_This battle is so important, Phai. I have to defeat him here or else…"_

"_And you will. After what he did to our men here there will be no stopping the army tomorrow. He has only conscripts; yours are veterans with decades of experience behind most of them. There is our strength and why we will win tomorrow."_

"_Is that all?"_

_He cocked his head to one side watching me pout with those glorious blue eyes, his hair falling away from his lovely face and let out a heartfelt sigh._

"_No – we have you. The greatest general in the world. Blinding as the sun in your beauty, Apollo incarnate, immortal – unless you jump into a snow water river. Unstoppable – unless you need to take a crap. The apple of his doting mother's or mothers now, eye or eyes…"_

"_Shut up!" I laughed taking him by surprise with a flying tackle that knocked him off his stool onto the carpeted floor where we indulged in a bit of mock wrestling until the physical proximity led onto something much more gratifying. It was short but sweet and we curled up together on my small camp bed and slept soundly._

_I awoke before the sun was up and left him sleeping contentedly, a small smile on his lips. I dressed quickly and went to my adjoining office barely taking a small bite out of a hasty breakfast brought to me by Hycanthus before I was joined by Parmenion, Philotas and Cleitus amongst others, all so eager for the day to start they couldn't rest further. We were deep in discussion of the final positions, Parmenion on the left, the Companion Cavalry with me at the far right, when the partition cloth to my sleeping quarters was pulled back by a very tousled Hephaestion wearing nothing, as I knew, under his chalmys, his head down searching for the rest of his discarded clothing and completely oblivious to the fact I now had company._

"_Health to you, Xander…" he got out through a yawn. It was Parmenion's swift intake of breath at such ' ill-omened' words that finally made him look up and see them staring at him in horror._

_Parmenion was demanding an explanation as to why he was cursing this day by saying 'health' instead of 'joy' to me when it was morning. My poor Phai's mouth was opening and closing but nothing came out. Cleitus was trying hard not to laugh whilst Philotas nearly fell off the stool he was perched on as he leaned over to look up Phai's cloak. Taking pity on my embarrassed friend I answered Parmenion as I also realised the atmosphere had cooled dramatically._

"_He was wishing me victory, Parmenion, as this day is already a foregone conclusion with the army I have here."_

_Hephaestion bowed his head, stooped to pick up his chiton and, with one final embarrassed look at me, hared out of the tent. Everyone there knew we were lovers but Hephaestion was very aware of the correct decorum I should set in my court, even if I wasn't, and never normally stayed all night with me but left before anyone else was up. I couldn't have cared less if it upset them but Phai, ever the pragmatist of the team, said it made no sense to annoy them when a little discretion wouldn't harm us. I did not like the pretence or dishonesty in this especially as the whole camp probably guessed if they didn't actually know that we were more than just 'friends'. If it had only been Macedonians in the army it would have mattered less. But the allied troops were sure to report home and would not understand our ways, particularly those under the cultural sway of Athens; relationships between co-evals were considered unusual especially for a king, so I bowed to common sense._

_And there was a battle to fight._


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Still on 'historical' reality but it's about to change. Wanted to put this up before I went on holiday. Heartfelt thanks to all who have reviewed. Glad you're enjoying it.

**Chapter Four**

**Hephaestion POV**

_We won the battle. We won the Great King's chariot. We even won his family! The Persians were unbelievable in their cock sure belief they couldn't lose that they had dragged along their wives, children and concubines. How many women does a man need on campaign?_

_Darius had left behind his wife – who was also, apparently, his sister – his mother, his son and two eldest daughters. Oh, and also twenty of his harem accompanied by a species of individual I had heard of but never met before – eunuchs. Alexander was too concerned after the battle with the welfare of the men to worry about these captives so, when he was told of why they were wailing, he sent Leonnatus to assure the Royal Family that Darius was not dead._

_The King took possession of Darius' tent in which every one of the officer's tents could have fit and still left room. It contained a sleeping area, office and council area, as well as a bathing area holding an ornate bathtub big enough for two; plus eunuchs._

_Alexander handed out prizes and promotions to reward the men; Craterus and Cleitus were promoted to the Staff; Ptolemy and I became generals – which meant I got the next best tent found in the Persian camp. Not that I slept well that night as whatever Leonnatus told the Royal Family they continued to caterwaul into the night; Cleitus was less than impressed with the racket and bawled out in the early morning to "Shut them up or kill the bitches!"_

_The King made it clear to everyone the following day that no harm was to come to any member of Darius' family. He tried again to advise them of this fact by using a Persian officer who had surrendered to me when his king galloped off into the sunset, a man called Pharnuches, cousin of some kind to the family. The noise stopped abruptly. The Generals were rewarded with tents, horses and the women of the nobles' harems though their wives and children were kept as hostages and left unmolested. Philotas got two concubines, Leonnatus one, Ptolemy one which he declined preferring peace at home with Thais who had made it quite clear another woman was not welcome; Craterus and Cleitus also chose to forgo the pleasure._

"_Too much hassle." Craterus said._

"_Don't need one at the moment." Said Cleitus. "My boys are quieter too and I've lost my heart to a certain Athenian. Unrequited love is so poetical and taking a foreign bitch in would ruin the pathos of it all, don't you agree Hephaestion?"_

"_I would if I thought you even knew what the word meant, Cleitus."_

"_Come and teach me then. Leave the boyfriend at home."_

_I was not even offered one to refuse which annoyed me and I made Alexander fully aware of my 'pique' at this oversight._

"_Are you that desperate to have a woman? I've not taken one for myself either."_

"_It's not the fact of the woman but the knowledge that one wasn't offered – it makes me look less a man in front of the other officers."_

"_I'm sorry Phai. I genuinely thought you wouldn't be interested in one and quite truthfully I – didn't – want you to have one." He splashed his bath water to emphasise the point and I tried to stay sullen but couldn't. He looked too hurt, much as he had done when we were boys and I'd beaten him in wrestling._

"_If you weren't so wet, my King, I would hug you for that bit of honest jealousy. Oh, Alexander, you're not going to sulk, are you?"_

_I leaned over the bath to look him in the eye and realised his intent too late. He pulled me into the bath and under him, as I spluttered up into the air ready to call him everything I had ever heard in a barracks; however, he stopped the tirade effectively by his lips on mine. That had to be the wettest lovemaking we had ever indulged in outside of a lake._

_Alexander's lack of interest in these women was more noted amongst the Staff and it was Parmenion who broached the subject at the Staff meeting held next day. I was there as Alexander was sending me on a reconnaissance mission and it was to be discussed that day. The turn of the conversation to women by the old man took both of us by surprise._

"_Alexander, I see you've not taken one of the Persian women into your household and you say you won't touch the Persian Queen, as is your right."_

"_Your point, General?"_

"_It's time you took a mistress, my King…"_

"_Parmenion! I'm in the middle of a campaign here, I don't have the time for romancing women."_

"_No romance is required. Just take the man's wife to your bed."_

"_I will not rape!"_

"_Then what about the daughter of Artabazus, Barsine? She was amongst the prisoners – you know each other so she would hardly object."_

_I caught my breath. What was the old man playing at? He looked me squarely in the eye._

"_I'm sorry, Hephaestion, but this has to be said: you two should have outgrown this infatuation with each other years ago. Alexander! The men need to see an heir or at least that their King takes an interest in women who can give him one. I mean no disrespect to young Amyntoros' abilities as a soldier – he's brave, loyal and leads his men well. He also has a head for logistics few here possess. But, my king, he cannot give you an heir!"_

_There was no arguing with that as I looked at my King to gage his reaction. His lovely face was stony, eyes as grey as a storm at sea as he glared at the old man. Walking over to where I stood he took my hand and then turned to Parmenion._

"_This is no infatuation, old man. I thought I had made that quite clear at Troy. I am married, oath bound – to Hephaestion. I will marry and take a wife one day to give you an heir but when I choose. And you are right Parmenion; Phai cannot give me an heir though I would dearly love that he could."_

"_I don't." I muttered._

_Cleitus and Ptolemy laughed at that as did the rest and finally Alexander too so that the tension in the tent evaporated somewhat._

"_But what a son we would make together, Hephaestion." He looked deep into my eyes and my heart lurched as it always did at those moments. "Let's move on to other matters, gentlemen."_

_He took neither Stateira nor Barsine as mistress; the former died in childbirth with Darius' child, the other was an old friend whom he would not so abuse. Besides he needed to ensure that he did nothing to alienate her father who was a powerful noble at the Persian Court and would likely come over to us if he saw that his daughter was well treated – taking her as a mistress instead of marrying her would not be considered so; it would be an insult to guest-friends besides._

_Seleucas, on the other hand, one of his generals, took a shine to the twice-widowed Barsine and she to him so at least Parmenion couldn't suggest her anymore. As for myself I felt no compelling need for a woman in my life. If I needed sex there were plenty of courtesans following the army I could hire as I did on occasions. They were bodies, nothing more, and did not tempt me with their softness to have one permanently under my feet. As I had said it was a matter of appearances only._

_Appearances were also the matter of an occurrence the day after the Staff meeting. I had woken late and was eating when one of Alexander's pages arrived, a eunuch in tow, to deliver a message from the King._

"_My tent, half an hour. Dress armour. Let the eunuch do your hair. Alexander."_

"_What the?"_

"_Sir, your bath is ready."_

"_Thank you Hero. Hycanthus, what does this note mean?"_

"_The King said this –person – was to do your hair, sir. He's already done the King's. I think you are to attend the King when he visits the Royal Family, sir."_

_Having bathed and dressed in white chiton, leather boots and best armour polished to mirror like reflection, I sat down for the Persian to 'do my hair'. He pulled, tugged, twisted and roped it until my head ached and my eyes swam. When he left I looked at the result: braids wrapped about my head and the rest pulled into a high bun._

"_Hero!"_

_It took us a good half hour to take the mess down and try to clean off the thick oil he had used on it. In the end I told Hero to comb it through, pull the side sections back and twist them about into a knot at the back, leaving the rest down. Not perfect but better than it was. Then I legged it with little decorum to the King's tent._

"_You're late. What is it?"_

_The eunuch had been at him too; his hair was now a mass of tight curls I had last seen on a highland sheep! Shaking my head I pushed him, none too gently, into the chair he had just vacated and grabbed the nearest brush which I dragged through those curls as hard as I had ever curried Aries' coat._

"_Ouch! What are you doing?"_

"_You look –ridiculous – sire! Let me get this mop of yours to at least resemble something a king of Macedon would wear. That's better."_

_The wave was a little more pronounced but at least he no longer resembled a sheep's coat. He had no time to argue anyway but led me and four other young officers down a canvas tunnel towards the Royal Harem tent. The tunnel was there for the King's privacy when he wanted to visit the Queen or have a concubine brought to him._

"_Why haven't you asked Parmenion or Philotas or at least a senior commander to accompany you?"_

"_Because I don't want them all scared to death, Phai, and I doubt Philotas would show the proper respect for foreign royalty, do you? Besides – you're the prettiest general I've got. No hitting! That's considered an act of treason in Persia carrying the death penalty."_

"_Is that so? Well, if I'm be to be sheared for a wolf…"_

"_General, remember your station – we're here."_

_We had indeed arrived and entered another huge tent elaborately furnished, the walls hung with gold embroidered tapestries. A door opposite to us was covered in a gauze material, also embroidered, and it was these hangings that two eunuchs drew back to allow the entrance of a dignified old woman, a young boy and two girls of some fourteen and ten years respectively._

_The elderly lady had once been a beauty as was still evident in her face and bearing. She was taller than myself, dressed in deep blue silk, her grey hair covered by a blue veil. Looking from the King then to me she turned and in one fluid motion prostrated herself before me! Instinctively I stepped back as a eunuch whispered urgently to her of her mistake. Turning on her knees to Alexander her expression was one of dignified resignation to whatever fate now awaited her for this error. But my king smiled and held out his hand telling her through the interpreter:_

"_Never mind mother, you made no mistake for he too is Alexander."_

_The translator did not understand these words anymore than the other officers behind me but Sisygambis bowed her head and looked at me again, then at Alexander, and smiled. As for myself I was rooted to the spot at those words for I knew what he meant by them – that I was his equal in rank, as I was in love; that we were one and the same. It touched me more than I could say and I barely took note of the following introductions of Darius' children or Alexander assuring them they would all now be treated as his family and not molested. The relief in the eyes of the young girls was palpable but Sisygambis nodded in a way as if to say she had expected no less of my King for before her stood a man who truly was a king and not the sorry example her son had set._

_Taking my arm Alexander led me back down the tunnel and dismissed the other officers – no doubt they hurried off to tell all who would listen to them. Pouring us both wine I sat in front of his desk looking at his plans for the next campaign to Sidon._

"_You say nothing Phai?"_

"_What you said…"_

"_I meant: you are me, Hephaestion- one soul, two bodies. My equal, my brother, my consort. It was only our actions at Troy put into words."_

"_Parmenion will have a fit when he hears."_

"_Good. Perhaps now he will understand what we two are – one."_

"_Yes – one."_

**Alexander** **POV**

_"Phai – I've received an envoy from Sidon. They have asked me to choose them a king. Apparently they're fed up with their oligarchy and want to return to a monarchy as they had before – but they can't find one!"_

"_My mission?"_

"_Choose them one as they can't do it themselves. I trust your judgement more than anyone else I have. As I can't spare you to them on a permanent basis I know you will choose wisely."_

"_I'll certainly do my – what did you say? Me – king?"_

"_Why not? You 'are Alexander too' after all."_

_I grinned at him, raising my wine in salute to him watching as he absorbed the full import of my words, telling him exactly how I saw his abilities. His blue eyes shone back at me with gratitude._

"_I will give you a king worthy of your name, sire."_

"_I know. On the subject of you being 'me'…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Did you by any chance write to mother recently?"_

_His lovely face stilled for a moment then broke into a grin, white teeth shining and the eyes deep sapphire._

"_I've often wondered why, Alexander, your mother's letters are never in the courier sack that gets lost."_

"_That's because she sends duplicates with different couriers."_

"_Ah – that would explain it."_

"_What did she say to you?" I asked watching him carefully._

_He told me it was more of the usual – that I should put him aside and take a wife; that he manipulated me into the 'fiasco' at Troy and must hold me in thrall all these years by using witchcraft. That if he truly loved me he would step aside voluntarily or kill himself. "She likes that idea a lot, doesn't she?"_

"_And what did you write back to her?"_

"_Well I told her to stop fighting with me, that nothing she could ever say would persuade me to leave you unless it was your wish. That you meant more to me than the world. And – I – might – just have used the royal 'we' in passing." He lowered his head to gulp at his wine, his hair falling over his face but not hiding the gleam of amusement in his eyes._

_I laughed having already seen that particular reply. Eumenes checked all outgoing correspondence and had brought Phai's letter to me for authority to send it on. I gave permission, of course, and told him to never open Hephaestion's mail again. He was decidedly put out by it all but I made it clear he had no right to question anything that my lover did as I had complete trust in him. Eumenes was an excellent secretary, organised and a hard worker but his ambitions knew no bounds. He had started his career under my father and I know he felt that in some respects I had not lived up to his example; to him Philip had never been wrong and I should meekly follow his original mission of vengeance against the Persians then go home. If he ever knew what my true plans were he would balk like an unbroken horse. Eumenes was very set in his ways, and these were Athenian – he could never understand my relationship with Hephaestion, made no attempt to do so as it was against all he had ever been taught despite years at the Macedonian court where such things were fairly common – the idea of an elder and younger man being together for only a short period of time was hardly our idea of Homeric Companions who fought side by side for life. But Eumenes had no time for Homer._

_On top of all that he never could understand Hephaestion's sense of humour._

_My lover chose a man called Abdalongmus as king for Sidon. The man was a descendant of the last royal house and he had stayed alive by keeping his head down and out of politics, tending his rose garden. Hephaestion told me the man was intelligent and capable with a keen sense of the ridiculousness of his situation._

"_And that will make him a good king?"_

"_Absolutely. He will be grounded in reality and be able to see through the flatterers with ease. He is also a good diplomat or else he would never have survived all these years."_

"_What are you trying to tell me?" I had sensed in his words a rebuke or certainly his way of opening up the conversation to tell or ask me something significant which I might not like._

_He moved closer to me in the bed, his naked body pressed along the whole length of my own, his scent enveloping my senses as he ran a finger across my cheek and softly over my lips before sealing them with his own._

"_What do you plan to do Alexander? I know you will never return to Macedon but I need to know what you want now. We always dreamed we would conquer Asia, and we nearly have, but to what end other than glory?"_

"_Isn't that enough? To live in glory and die with everlasting fame, my Patroclus?"_

"_But unlike Achilles you are a king as well as a warrior…"_

_His words were true. Fighting was not all I had to do and it wasn't enough as a memorial to our dream and our love – there had to be something more lasting. As I looked into his calm and patient eyes, my thoughts finally gelled together to form a cohesive whole._

"_Do you remember what Aristotle told us of Plato's ideal of a philosopher king? Impractical as Plato visualised it there is still a good idea there, Phai."_

"_Unity under one man who would be just and tolerant of all – a beautiful, impractical dream."_

"_Not all of it. Greece has ripped herself apart in wars between cities, tribes and insults to various religious sites. Even now the Corinthian League is merely a temporary allied state. Antipater already writes to me that the Spartans are getting restless in their dog kennel and Demosthenes is encouraging them to do so. My father's idea was to pull them together to fight the Persians and free the Asiatic colonies…"_

"_Which we are doing…"_

"_As you asked, to what end? We free them, we go home and Darius takes them back again. A waste of time and a waste of lives."_

"_So we make it permanent?"_

"_Exactly. Take over the whole thing; integrate them into the Greek world…"_

"_Even if they don't want to be a part of it?"_

"_Many parts of this empire were free or part of the Assyrian or Babylonian empires long before the Persians took over."_

"_So we'd be just another in a long line of conquerors and they wouldn't notice the difference."_

_I smiled at him and kissed his lips, slightly parted, as they always were when he concentrated._

"_Not quite. We can give them a culture, Phai…"_

"_They have one already…"_

"_Yes – I saw it in action at the Issus." He nodded probably recalling all the same, vile details as I did myself. "With that kind of cruelty anything else has to be better. So many in this empire are slaves, illiterate and unlikely to ever raise themselves out of the gutter. We can do that for them, Phai; give them an education and a chance to progress. And there are also the needs of the army to consider. Macedon will not be able to replenish the army continuously so I need to find men elsewhere. By giving them a stake in this new world they will fight for it far better than they ever would for Darius. It will help me merge the two together to make a new whole."_

_He remained silent for a while, his eyes lowered so all I could see was a forest of dark lashes sweeping his cheeks. Then he raised them to my face._

"_It's a beautiful dream, Xander. But it will never happen, not that way. I believe you will be a great king, of Persia as well as Macedon; but to merge two such different civilisations? I'm not so sure either would accept it. Of course you could take a leaf out of your father's book – marry your way across the Empire!"_

"_Eumenes has always told me your humour is suspect, General."_

"_And who am I to argue with such an august personage as – your secretary, my liege? But you do see what I mean?"_

"_Yes." I replied and I did, reluctantly, conceded he was right. "But I will find a way to do it, Phai – without marrying every female in sight!"_

"_I can live with that."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Hephaestion** **POV**

_We finally reached Egypt and she lived up to all our expectations and more. The people invited Alexander there and he was welcomed as a saviour. Everywhere we went there were crowds of cheering people calling his name. I saw it went directly to his heart and his eyes shone with pleasure at it all. It was in stark contrast to the attitude of people we had come across in the preceding year - a year where all we had was blood, pain and terror, not to mention heart break._

_Two massive sieges in succession had taken their toll on the men and Alexander wanted them to have a well deserved rest so we would spend as many months there as we could whilst Parmenion watched for Darius. Ever since the General's attempt to get Alexander to take a mistress, as well as his comments to and about me, they had been distant if civil. The King decided it would be best for them both to have a breathing space from each other and gave Parmenion an independent mission, with his own army, whilst we besieged Tyre and Gaza._

_It took over six months to take Tyre and we lost many good men, coming up against an inventive, obdurate and cruel adversary. They showed that in the first days there when they murdered our envoys in front of his eyes, throwing their bodies into the sea and attempting to deny them proper burial – but we fished them out. I knew the men well as they were five of my own that had accompanied me to Sidon; I should have been of their number but had been taken ill with food poisoning the night before – an intervention by some god was how Alexander and I saw it. But it did not help ease the pain I felt at their loss in such a despicable manner._

_The night before the envoys were to leave Alexander threw a party to show the Tyrians we weren't planning on going anywhere. There was a new chicken dish presented and as I love that meat excessively I ate a good deal of it, covered in a new sauce; even the dogs liked it as I fed them from my own plate, much to the cook's disgust as he hovered in the entrance of the tent to see our reaction. But my stomach didn't and rebelled later that night confining me to my bed with vomiting and diarrhoea._

_Alexander got his own back to a degree for my rough handling of him in a similar predicament but Philippos gave me a sedative and I woke up groggily at the ground swell of noise erupting from the army as it voiced its anger as one at the slaughter of those five men. One, Solon, was close to me having known him in Pella as a child, and when Ptolemy rushed to my tent to tell me I was so stunned I couldn't move. Cleitus had left that very morning on scouting patrol and came back to hear the news that the envoys had been killed. He burst into my tent straight after Ptolemy and just stood there staring at me. I couldn't figure out why until I remembered he had left before I was taken ill._

"_Why weren't you with them?"_

"_I was taken ill."_

"_Thank the gods!" he breathed quietly but I still heard him._

"_Yes," added Ptolemy "We were lucky there. Solon wasn't though."_

"_Solon? No! Bastards – I need to see the king!" and Cleitus stormed out closely followed by Ptolemy._

_The King. What must Alexander be going through I thought. He hated to send men into danger he couldn't share and now these had died, murdered before his very eyes…he would be furious as well as desolate at their loss. Before I thought about it clearly I tried to get up, needing to be by his side, only to find myself flat on my face on the floor. Damon helped me back onto the bed. As my body was not going to obey me I sent him on an errand for me, one that could not wait – I sent him to Solon's wife._

_Acte was a small, lovely woman of strong character and constitution; she was one of only a handful of wives who had accompanied their husbands on the campaign and I knew she was now my responsibility. Solon had been one of my best men and it was a duty I would never neglect. When she arrived at my tent I could see the news had already reached her._

"_I am sorry I could not come to you Acte but I have no strength it seems. Your husband was one of the best men I have ever known or worked with and I don't know how he will be replaced."_

"_You could not do that with anyone, my lord, however hard you may try. He died in the line of duty, in the service of his king and you – that is what he would have wished for."_

"_Do you wish me to arrange the funeral?"_

"_The King has already said he would do so…"_

_Of course he would. Whatever the circumstances or pressure he was under my Alexander rarely forgot the small things and never the big such as honouring the fallen in his service. He would also ensure they were recompensed handsomely._

"_My lord Hephaestion, may I ask a favour?"_

"_Anything that is within my power I will do."_

"_Let me stay."_

"_With the army? Acte, I …"_

"_I have no family at home, no children that have survived. Solon taught me my letters and I have a good hand. Let me stay as an unofficial secretary to you. I hear the King intends to put the supplies and scouts under you own command on a permanent basis…"_

"_Then you've heard more than I have." I muttered._

"…_so there will be a lot of paperwork. Unless you would prefer for Eumenes to work with you?"_

_The woman had, as I had found to my cost before, a sardonic humour with a sarcastic twist to it. She knew exactly where to put the knife in. I agreed to her request because she said true that I needed a secretary of my own and it would place her securely under my protection. Naturally tongues would wag and rumours start but I was used to those._

_Alexander was predictably furious and determined to show the people of Tyre their error. It took us months, two moles and a fleet, but we managed it; the Tyrian garrison was slaughtered to a man and 1000 bodies crucified as a warning. The rest were sold into slavery. We moved on to Gaza, another port that refused to surrender – this one took less time but they were equally as stubborn. The city was governed by a eunuch called Betis who, finally, committed suicide._

_The siege had not gone well in a personal way for the King. A bird dropped a huge stone on his head cracking his helmet if not his head. The seer Aristander said it was an omen that he was in personal danger that day (I suggested he duck in future) but otherwise the day would go well. The King promised us both he would stay away from the fighting that day but when he saw some men being pushed back he jumped in without thinking and all I could do was follow. He was fighting a man who surrendered and Alexander accepted as the man had been a brave opponent; but as he turned away the bastard pulled a knife to strike the King in the back but he sensed the motion, swung about at my yell, parried the blow and struck home._

"_That was the danger, Phai!" he crowed and leaped back into the fight._

_A few moments later and he was down with a bolt in his shoulder but still refusing to leave the field. A surgeon removed the bolt and hastily dressed the wound but it soon slipped as he fought on and he finally fainted in my arms through loss of blood. Yelling to Ptolemy to press the advantage Alexander had opened up I took him to the medical tent myself. Philippos tutted (again) at Alexander's 'irresponsibility with your life, sire.' But his king had passed out once more._

_He did no more fighting after that but controlled the siege from a litter he had carried out each day. I have heard the story that he dragged Betis behind a chariot but he was in no condition to get on a horse let alone do any such thing._

_Leaving me in charge of the fleet the army marched south to Egypt where we were reunited at Pelusium, a port in the Egyptian Delta, and from there we sailed down the Nile, flanked by the army. I had a native translator on board the 'Achilles', my flagship, called Ankhtefi._

_A small man with a pleasant non-descript face that was made attractive by fine brown eyes, outlined in kohl; he had deep chestnut hair worn quite long but rarely seen when he was 'on duty' as he wore a longer black wig over it. His garments were shimmering white and he explained to me that he was a Royal Scribe attached to the palace at Mennefer, the capital city we knew as Memphis. I was impressed by his intelligence, charm, naivety to a degree and his grasp of languages – he was also as interested in us as we were of him and he told me much about Egypt's great history. Thousands of years separated him from his ancestors who built the pyramids that came into view as we docked at the wharf and I was not alone in being mesmerised by those huge edifices – none of us had ever seen anything like them. Stone mountains, clad in white stone that sparkled but not as much as the gold pyramidion at their peaks which caught the sun and blazed light into the sky – truly a marvel._

_I was looking forward to a break here as the people had invited us to come. I had seen so little of Alexander this past year, each of us doing separate things necessary for the campaign and army; I spent a great deal of time on supply or diplomatic missions, such as negotiating with the Cypriots for their ships to assist at Tyre. In one way I was pleased as it allowed me a certain independence that could be seen by the Staff and army – that the King trusted me with important missions and, above all, that I carried them out well enough to prove to them his faith in me was not misplaced._

_Now we would have a few months of peace with no campaigning and a chance to do some real exploring._

**Alexander** **POV**

_I sacrificed to Dionysus, Heracles and Athena the day after the envoys were butchered at Tyre in gratitude for my not losing Hephaestion. And I came so close to doing so. It shook me to the core and as I watched those poor men die all I could see was Phai getting a sword thrust into his back, five times, and then being thrown into the water like so much offal. It sealed Tyre's fate though it took far longer than I had anticipated bringing them down – but they are destroyed now, utterly, and I have no pity to spare for them. They killed my men who were under a flag of truce; they would have killed my love if he had gone there as I had ordered. They got what they deserved._

_Hephaestion was correct to take Acte under his wing; she is very capable, for a woman, and better yet treated him like a younger brother so I was content, despite the nasty tales told by Philotas and Eumenes. I knew the truth._

_Then we arrived in Egypt. The place was truly astonishing to us all in particular its religion. I couldn't begin to understand it all: gods with animal heads; sacred birds, cats, cows and bulls. Within our first week there I did homage and sacrifice to a huge bull, what they called the Apis, who is sacred from birth and lives his entire life in comfort and ease with his own harem and plenty of food – he also had servants to wash him each day and bedeck him in garlands and polish his gold tipped horns. They told me the Persian king Cambyses killed the last one and ate him but Hephaestion's new scribe, Ankhtefi, says that might merely be exaggeration. Whatever the truth may be the crowd were certainly happy that I praised the bull, not speared him – I've never been cheered so much in my life._

_And so I was created Pharaoh in an elaborate, ancient ceremony at Memphis where I was escorted through chapel after chapel in the giant Temple of Ptah, the equivalent of our Hephaistios – I thought that most appropriate as I have his namesake by my side. I was also given five names though I can only recall three now: Meryamun Setepenre Alexandros 'Beloved of Amun, Chosen of Re, Alexander'_

_Philotas was not so impressed as I could tell from his sour expression throughout the whole proceedings. I also saw Craterus angry with him, which was a surprise in itself as they normally were the best of friends, or so appeared._

_Nor was Hephaestion overawed by my new nomenclature._

"_Isn't one name enough? Especially as you barely remember that one at times."_

"_That's why I keep you about – you always yell it at certain moments…"_

"_Ah, but how do you know it is your name I'm crying out?"_

_The argument disintegrated into silliness at that point. Since we had arrived in Egypt Hephaestion had shed much of his sober, logical outlook and had graced me with a renewed sight of the boy I had first met all those years ago when I was five and who had beaten me up. It was as if all his cares had been lifted off his shoulders, for a while at least, and I felt the same. We had great discussions on many topics; long walks about this amazing city so different from Pella or Athens. And the people were without doubt the most tolerant of any I had ever met. Men and women walked together with no concern of propriety – I understood women could actually instigate a divorce and retain any property they had brought to the marriage. The richer ladies are even better educated than my mother (though Phai has often said that was irrelevant as nothing stopped her from dictating – ever). _

_Their religion is not set fast but fluid, absorbing a variety of ideas into the whole. I liked that idea – tolerance of all ideas and peoples no matter how different: a change from the arrogance and pompous patronising of my own land and its teachers, including Aristotle who still considered non- Greeks barbarians._

_Hephaestion and I took a small trip down the Nile without the Staff but took Leonnatus, Ptolemy, Cleitus and Ankhtefi. We stopped near a run down temple where we were offered food and drink. Leaving the rest, Phai and I roamed about the crumbling building and we were both stunned by its beauty nonetheless._

"_It's beautiful, especially these columns – look Alexander, the face! She has cow ears!"_

_We called over Tefi to ask about this strange juxtaposition of facial features._

"_It is Hathor in her guise as the Divine Cow – a fertility goddess and protector of pregnant women. She is a very powerful deity and linked closely with Horus."_

"_Ah – that is who I'm supposed to be isn't it – the reincarnation of Horus and the dead Pharaoh becomes his father, Osiris?"_

_Tefi smiled broadly at me. "Yes – more or less, Great One."_

_I jabbed Hephaestion in the ribs then to stop him from laughing but Tefi continued to explain that the temple had fallen into disrepair during the Persian occupation and that the number of priests had been reduced to only three instead of fifteen full time and a further fifty or so part time._

_Here Hephaestion caught my eye and I knew without words that he agreed with an idea forming in my own mind. I asked Tefi to call the Chief Priest to me and had him explain that I would leave funds to repair the temple to its former glory and return the estates it had formerly held for its upkeep and salaries of the priests and locals who worked there. Then we both went and gave offerings at the shrine – usually only the High Priest or the Pharaoh was allowed in the Holy of Holies but the priest allowed Phai to accompany me as he was assured he was a relation (not too far from the truth – he is my soul brother). The chantry was small and lit only by a sky light directly opposite the cult statue of Hathor – a woman wearing an elaborate headdress of a sun disk flanked by two cow horns. We offered incense and bowed. As we did so the light hitting the statue blazed to a blinding brilliance before fading back to normal and I heard the priest beside me gasp. He didn't explain any further and Phai shrugged saying it was probably the sun hitting a shard of quartz in the stone the statue was carved from. Always the pragmatist._

_But I was not so sure. It was too apposite, the moment too exact with our obeisance for it to be merely coincidence. I did not speak of that to Phai as I wanted him in a calm frame of mind when I put an idea to him later that I wished to act upon._

_We left the temple with regret but also hope that on our return we would see it in its full glory once more. Back on the boat we sailed downstream to Memphis having had a glorious day mercifully free of any arguments or raised voices. Shame that wouldn't last._

**Hephaestion** **POV**

_"Have you gone completely out of your mind? A month long trip into a desert? Now? Darius could be ready to attack any moment…"_

"_Hephaestion – he's in Babylon and not looking to move anytime soon. Look on it as an expedition of exploration."_

"_Why? What is it about this particular oracle that you need to visit so desperately? You went to Delphi and Dodona…"_

"_Yes – and got only half an answer. I need to do this, Phai; I need to know the truth."_

_His mother had fed him so many half-truths and hints about who is 'real' father was that I was unsurprised that he wanted confirmation either way. My belief in the gods was steady and honest so I had few qualms that he might not be Philip's son – the body had to be but the soul was another matter. That Olympias believed she had been impregnated by an immortal I had no trouble accepting. After all the woman was an enthusiastic participant of the Dionysic Rites and the women imbibed only knows what to make them more open to the god – who knows?_

_I looked at his face and saw there a desperation that I would not understand so I smiled and pulled him into my arms._

"_I've always enjoyed camping trips."_

_He let out a deep breath against my shoulder and laughed. "Thank you, my Phai, for understanding."_

_I remembered then the man I had met whilst 'dying'. "Who knows Alexander? We know so little of this world and even less of the next or the gods. Anything is possible."_

_To say the generals didn't take it well would be an understatement. They produced a typical Macedonian slanging match that had our hosts blanching under their eye kohl at such language used to a Pharaoh. Alexander gave as good as he got until he finally shut them up._

"_This is not a debating society, gentlemen! We go – Craterus, Philotas you stay with the army here. Keep couriers on hand at all times and if Parmenion sends word that Darius' is on the move, get me back. Any more questions? Good. Hephaestion, I'll leave the arrangements to you."_

_I organised the horses, food and water for twenty people who included the King, Ptolemy, Leonnatus, myself and enough guards for protection but not to look a threat. What I had not found were guides and was surprised to find Philotas in my apartments with two men who he told me were prepared to take us to Siwah. Philotas had been the most vocal dissenter to the whole plan so why was he suddenly helping? Perhaps the idea of being left in command appealed to him – possibly too much. Before we left I spoke to Cleitus and he assured me he would keep an eye on the 'over-dressed bugger' for me._

_We got lost, naturally. Ran out of water and were in dire straits, looking death very much in the eye. My thoughts were on Alexander, that he would never get his answers now, but the rest were veering from self pity to concern that they would not get the correct burial rights and become voiceless shades in Hades. However they were not voiceless yet as we made camp that evening and the objects of their ire were the 'guides'. Alexander reminded them that they were all we had, unfortunately, and killing them, though gratifying, would not help us find our way. Leonnatus mumbled that was so but 'sticking a knife in them would make me feel a lot better'. I wholeheartedly agreed, mainly because I was furious – Philotas had duped me and I fell for it. We were not a happy camp that night._

_However some god had been keeping an eye on our plight for two tall strangers who approached our camp on camels saved us._

_I recognised the voice of the first who spoke immediately, asking if they could join our camp; the same man who had stood near my blood-filled bath and persuaded me to live – but I couldn't explain that to the others. However, they both made it clear they were no threat and that they would lead us to the oasis at Siwah, which they did._

_The next time we camped I spoke to the man, who called himself Ty, as I was curious as to his intent._

"_You are real, aren't you?"_

"_Of course I am – solid as a rock. As is Maks."_

"_But it was you who talked to me when…"_

"_That was me and I must say you look almost as bad now as you did then."_

"_Is Maks…?"_

"_Like me? Yes."_

_That came as a blow to the stomach and took my breath away. "Why are you here then? Is Alexander in danger?"_

"_Not anymore. He, and you, have a destiny and I'm going to ensure it works out this time."_

"_This time?" but he walked off without answering me, leaving me with so many questions and no answers._

_Siwah was a small village overshadowed by the Temple of Ammon: the priests led the king into the sanctum to put his questions whilst we waited outside. He returned less than half an hour later, a quiet smile on his face, telling all without words that what he had heard had pleased him. Quickly taking my arm he drew me away from the others to walk about the village and tell me what the god had answered. When he finished I looked at him a long time before taking his right hand and kissing the signet ring._

"_You are of the blood of Achilles and Heracles, both divine and now you are proven so."_

_Divine, not immortal. I had seen him in pain and bleeding; I had also tended him when he was sick so had first hand knowledge he was as human as I. But divinity meant he had special talents, a destiny that was watched by and caused by the gods themselves. Seeing Ty in the background smiling I knew it for a fact._


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: Many thanks for all the reviews especially Norrsken's in depth ones. Jelena thanks too and to answer your query on historical accuracy: more or less but not as much as my 'Hephaestion's Journal'. The Parmenion/Philotas question is difficult. No they didn't _actually_ plot against Alexander _but_ Philotas was told of one and said nothing - that's treason, pure and simple. Parmenion had to die as he had 20,000 men across Alexander's lines of communication and could have instituted a blood feud against the King. The Macedonians understood this and accepted both deaths without a mutiny. Pity historians can't do the same instead of putting 21st Century morality _back _onto a time where it didn't exist. **

**Anyway enjoy the chapter. This is where I start to diverge from real world history - at last!**

**Chapter Six**

**PART TWO**

**Alexander POV**

_He ran again! Twice it could have been resolved if the man had only stood his ground and fought me! But no; all I found was another chariot. I lost sixty Companions that day with Hephaestion and Leonnatus both seriously wounded. Parmenion, who had also been wounded, left the field for a short time to have it dressed and Philotas panicked sending me a message to come to his aid. I had been forced to break off the pursuit anyway due to the condition of the horses but we then had the toughest fight of the battle trying to get back to the left wing – it was brutal, exhilarating and ultimately unnecessary. Philotas' adversary, Nabarzanes withdrew his cavalry and Mazaeus, satrap of Babylon, followed suit – as he had previously agreed he would do with Hephaestion. They had 'met' when Phai was sent to bridge the river and send out scouts to find the enemy; he had, without my command, taken the imitative and spoken to the man who had come up to block his crossing of the river and struck a deal. Who else could have done that for me? Both Cleitus and Craterus would have given battle and very possibly lost me the major one._

_Yet they still refused to see his worth, Craterus in particular though he was becoming more pre-occupied with his feud with Philotas. As if I would accept the word of a whore to condemn an officer and a friend since childhood, even one I didn't particularly care for. But Craterus could only see his objective not what was about him or any affect his actions would cause to the army as a whole or to me. I knew he wanted Philotas' command. Even if Parmenion's last surviving son did show, finally, that he was a traitor I would not have placed Craterus in that position. He was a loyal officer and I trusted him but he was my father's man to the core, as was Cleitus, but with an important difference – one was honest about it, the other hid it behind ambition. Besides Cleitus appreciated my Hephaestion and had done more to knock aside the barbs of the others than any other, myself included. I could not fight his battles for him as that would only have made the situation worse; nor would he ever allow it, stubborn man. But with his diplomacy with the Athenians and Demosthenes, which kept them from revolting, and his agreement with Mazaeus, I could promote him as he deserved. He had shown his metal in battle, in cunning and state craft; and I had found the perfect position for him as Pharnuches had explained it to me – he would become as untouchable as I could make him._

_Babylon. We entered unopposed, Mazaeus coming out to greet me and surrender the city; I retained him as satrap, as was the agreement, and then the army marched in procession through cheering crowds of onlookers, acrobats, dancers and many other sideshows. The men were astonished at it all – the people, the buildings, their strange step like temples that struck me as cold whereas those of Egypt had been bright with the sun._

_Hephaestion rode at my side still pale from his wound in the arm that had severed a blood vessel badly. Thankfully Senji, the Egyptian doctor, saved him. I had lost Philippos in Egypt but Ty found this new man and his skill was astounding – I took to watching him at every opportunity, learning as much as I could from him, including many new medicines and healing practices unknown in Greece. I looked over at Phai and he smiled back at me, his beautiful face shining in the sun, eyes particularly blue that day as he looked about and pointed out various sights to me – an acrobat, a caged lion or a dancing bear. This was as much his triumph as my own but he did not see it that way, saw it only as my own. Behind I heard Ptolemy and Cleitus laugh at the bear though Nearchus called it cruel and I noticed Hephaestion nod in agreement. I bought the bear as a gift for them to release when they could – Nearchus liked to do that and Phai always had a soft spot for animals._

_The palace was truly astonishing! Huge, with high ceilings, decorated in many coloured tiles burnished like mirrors showing endless processions of envoys to the King of Babylon. Repetitive but sumptuous. My apartments were almost as large as the whole palace at Aegae and my pages seemed aghast and lost in its huge spaces. Hycanthus found one room filled only with clothes. Glorious silks, shimmering in the light and so soft. Then there was the bathroom; it had a step down pool and I took advantage of it immediately to ready myself for the afternoon durbar which Mazaeus had arranged so that all the leading citizens of the city could take their oath of allegiance to me as their new King. They had been absorbed into the Persian empire less than two hundred years before and did not consider Darius as their real king. But I still needed to capture him for without that I would never be able to claim Persia._

_Hephaestion arrived whilst I was still bathing dressed in his best armour, hair tied back from his face but laying loose about his shoulders in waves of burnished mahogany. He sat and talked to me as I was dressed, Hycanthus adding one of the silk cloaks we had found to compliment the armour._

"_What do you think?" I finally asked, preening before him._

"_Very lovely. You'll have so many offers tonight for your hand I won't get a look in anymore."_

"_My hand? That's not the part you're usually interested in."_

"_Ah, but I am – both of them; and we're making the pages blush, sire. Time to go."_

_The audience chamber was another massive room; pillars that three men could barely span holding up an ornate ceiling high up in the gloom. I sat on the throne, thankfully not as high as the one Darius left at the Issus, and smiled graciously at each supplicant as he bowed, offered allegiance and a gift before leaving to stand against the walls. My officers found the bowing highly amusing until I flashed a stony glare in their direction and they stopped it._

"_My liege," Pharnuches beside me recalled my attention, "This is the Great Seeress of Babylon, Hattaluna."_

_I found myself gazing at a lovely woman dressed in deepest blue silk that complimented her long auburn hair perfectly. She was neither young nor old but ageless in the flawless skin of her face, throat and arms. But what held me were her eyes; green as the spring leaves with flecks of sunlight in their depths. Her smile was gentle and warm. I nodded to her._

"_You are a seeress? Can you tell me anything of what will occur now?"_

_My officers had quieted to listen and Phai touched a hand to my shoulder so that I knew he was close. Hattaluna shifted her gaze momentarily from me to the touch and then up to Phai before returning her attention to me._

"_Your destiny is clear, sire. It takes no seeress to see that. However, I have come here to offer you something else than telling your fortune."_

"_What is that Lady?"_

"_I have come to give you your heart's desire…"_

_I laughed._

"_That's easy – to find Darius and beat him."_

_A shake of her head belied the smile on her face._

"_No – that you can accomplish anyway with your abilities and your army. What I offer is to Alexander the man, not the King. What do you want most of all?"_

_The room had gone utterly silent, no sound of talking, rustling silk or even breathing. I looked up at Phai and he was staring ahead, not moving at all._

"_They cannot hear us Alexander. This is between you and me alone."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_All will be revealed in good time. Now I need to know what gift I can give you; one that you want above all else."_

_I looked up then at Hephaestion's perfect profile, his lips touched with a half smile, eyes hooded slightly showing lashes so long they were the envy of every woman alive. And then I knew what I wanted, had craved for years._

"_I want an heir with Hephaestion – a child of our combined blood to inherit the empire we shall make for him. But it's an impossibility!"_

_Her laugh was the sound of bells and the summer breeze, filling my senses to bursting._

"_Everything is possible if you ask the right person, Great King. You shall have your wish."_

_Then the noise was back and everyone was watching me stare after the retreating form of the seeress._

"_Not much of a seeress if all she could tell you was you would conquer the place anyway." Snorted Philotas but Phai was looking at me with a questioning look and I smiled and patted his hand. I must have slept, that was all; it had been a dream, no more. Simply a dream._

**Hephaestion POV**

_The banquet was still in progress but I felt the need for air. Ever since that afternoon and seeing the Seeress Alexander had been remote, always looking at me in a strange way that I could not fathom. But it was not that which made me restless – I simply needed to be alone for a while. Walking always helped clear my head so long as I did not lose myself in the warren of a palace with all its dark corridors. It was a beautiful place but I preferred the light of our own palace at Pella or, better yet, that of the one in Memphis; you could breathe there whereas Babylon was stifling in its gaudiness and opulence._

_As I turned into another corridor I saw a woman standing motionless in the middle of it. The Seeress. Had I frightened her?_

"_Do not fear me, lady." I told her in broken Persian, I had been learning form Pharnuches. "I won't…"_

"_Harm me, Hephaestion? Hardly." Her Greek was flawless. "I have come to honour a promise."_

_She stepped towards me holding up a hand that I saw contained a fine powder which glinted in the light of the torches like gold. Before I could react she lifted the hand to her lips and blew the fine powder into my face; I couldn't hold my breath fast enough and I felt it enter my nose and open mouth in a warm shower. She smiled at me then turned on her heel and walked back down the corridor. I tried to follow her but she was nowhere in sight and I was beginning to feel dizzy._

_Fool! To let myself be poisoned so easily for what else could it be and I was definitely reacting to it. I made out one of my pages coming towards me in the haze that now passed for my eyesight and he walked me back to my apartments where I fell on the bed and passed out. I had had no chance to tell him what had occurred and he assumed I was drunk._

_An hour later I awoke to find myself feeling better and still alive with an overwhelming desire to see Alexander. Getting up I passed a mirror above a small table and looked at myself, then at the small pots scattered about left by the previous occupant that had never been cleared. Picking one up I looked into it and saw it was filled with a black liquid of sorts – kohl. Calling my pages I organised a bath and sent one to get a eunuch from the harem. Perplexed he did as bid and brought the 'man' as soon as I wished. Once dried from my bath I went to the huge room filled with silks that joined my rooms to those of the king and chose a robe of peacock blue, putting it on and tying its one fastening, before sitting at the small table and telling the eunuch to make up my eyes. I heard Hero gasp but ignored him watching carefully how the eunuch applied the kohl – when he had finished the effect was astounding. My eyes looked huge, the colour accentuated by the black and dark blue of the robe so that they appeared to fill my face. I next asked Hero to brush my hair out loose until it shone like burnished bronze, falling down my back which was naked as the robe was cut low at the back. I dismissed them all and made my way to the king's rooms – just next door so not far to walk._

_Alexander was getting ready for bed, whilst dictating a letter to his mother, when I entered pages fussing about clearing his bath. I stopped in the doorway, one hand on the doorframe, the other on my hip and waited for him to notice me. The effect when he did was exactly as I wanted – his jaw dropped, eyes following down from my face to the open fronted robe and swiftly back to my kohl enhanced eyes. I licked my lips – slowly._

"_Thank you everyone, you're dismissed – I'll finish the letter tomorrow."_

_They did not miss the urgency so apparent in his voice and scampered past me where I received many a strange look. No, I doubt I fitted their idea of what a Macedonian general should look like but I had an entirely different purpose there that night and from the flush on his cheeks and the heat building in his eyes I knew I wouldn't fail._

**Alexander POV**

_He looked beautiful, mesmerising, sensuous and flirtatious. Flirtatious? Hephaestion? He was actually flirting with me! I poured us both wine once everyone had gone and when I turned around he was sitting on my bed, leaning back on both hands, long legs crossed so that the silk slid away to reveal those thighs in all their glory; I approached with the wine and he leaned forward to take his making the blue silk that showed up his golden skin so well slip off a shoulder to reveal the well-honed body beneath, now showing the sword wound on his upper arm. He drank slowly looking at me above the rim with those wondrous eyes until the heat in my groin was too much to bear. Setting aside my own cup I took his away too._

_Our mouths crashed together in a kiss that was brutal but intensely pleasurable. Pushing aside the silk my hands found warm, smooth flesh that elicited a deep groan from Phai as he lay back, opening his legs and pulling me down on top of him._

"_I want you, my King – now!"_

_My chiton was ripped off but I felt no cold as he wrapped his legs about my waist arching his hips up until my member pushed against his hole – then he thrust forward impaling himself and surrounding me in that tight, hot channel I love so much. I rode him as hard as he wanted, as I wanted until I came on a shout and filled him, then slipped out and fell on my back beside him exhausted. But my Phai was not done and he suddenly straddled me, kissing me hard on the lips, biting my neck and rubbing himself slowly against my hardening cock. Lifting himself he settled down on it once more and rode me slowly at first then faster, his head thrown back exposing a neck I was not slow to take advantage of and bit, moving down to a hardened nipple until his movement on my cock was too much and I had to fall back and concentrated on thrusting up into him, faster and faster; he fisted his own cock in rhythm with my movements until we both came hard and long. Finally he collapsed on top of me, slipping off of me and curled up in my arms and slept._

_Waking first I looked at his lovely face, the kohl about his eyes smudged to make them seem softer still as I caressed his cheek and wondered what ever had come over him the previous night. Phai was always more ready for sex than myself but last night was something I had never seen in him before – it was almost desperation._

_My caress must have woken him as he looked across at me and smiled sleepily, then kissed me slowly, deeply and longingly, our tongues meeting and dancing until I was hard again and entered him once more to his delight._

"_Oh, yes, my Alexander; that's so good."_

_For the next week he was as voracious for lovemaking as the night of the banquet; during the day he would way-lay me in corridors or out hunting, but mostly at night until it was becoming too obvious for the others to ignore – Phai had always been very circumspect and careful in our relationship but now he didn't seem to care who knew he came to me for love. Nor, I might add, did I._

_And then it stopped, or returned to how it had always been; the frantic need he had been evincing had gone and he looked as startled by his previous actions as I had. I needed him to carry out a supply mission and scout the area where we would be heading next after leaving Babylon but I intended to remain there a few months at least to rest the men fully and await for his scouts to report any news of Darius or his army._

_When Phai returned he looked – blooming; well fed, rosy cheeked and clear eyed, his hair shining and soft as silk. However Cleitus advised me that he had not been well those past weeks at all._

"_Every morning, regular, he throws up – then he's fine for the rest of the day."_

"_But he looks so…"_

"_Beautiful? Yes – that I had noticed. But he still pukes every day."_

_He was right. That night Phai and I made love but gently as he seemed tender, especially in his stomach and chest._

"_Are you putting on weight, Phai?"_

"_I seem hungrier than usual – then I've been throwing up these past weeks, maybe that's why."_

_And he was sick that morning. I had asked him to stay with me all of the night and I was so concerned I sent for Senji. Phai was not pleased but allowed the man to examine him. Senji prodded his lower abdomen, chest; squeezed what I now saw as enlarged nipples (much to my annoyance – that was my prerogative) and muttering under his breath._

"_I'll need a urine sample – have you pissed yet today?"_

"_No."_

"_Good. Do so. Now."_

_I called a page to bring a pot and Phai disappeared to the bathroom 'I can't go with an audience' returning a while later with a full pot which Senji took off with him, leaving us both to stare after the Egyptian's retreating back in utter confusion._

"_This is all so strange." I said to him. "After that week when you were so – amorous – and now you're ill but not?"_

"_I met that Seeress, the night of the banquet, and she blew dust in my face. I thought she had tried to poison me but all it seemed to do was make me uncontrollably horny."_

"_I'd noticed." I laughed. The Seeress. Was it possible she had taken my wish literally? That was absurd._

_Two days later I made the announcement that Hephaestion was to become Chiliarch, Vizier of the Empire and formally my Second-in-Command. Most accepted it quietly enough but Philotas and Craterus united once again, if only in this._

"_He's a fine soldier, my liege." Craterus said, "Brave. But he's no front line commander."_

"_He doesn't need to be Craterus – that's your job. An army needs many talents amongst its officers and I need a man who can negotiate as well as fight as my second. If I die, Hephaestion will be in command."_

"_The men will never accept that!" Philotas cried._

"_Philotas! Enough."_

"_No, father, let us be truthful here. What has he done more than the rest of us on this campaign except warm our king's bed like a whore?"_

"_Philotas! That will do! Hephaestion has saved many a life with his diplomacy and his scouts." Parmenion sank into a chair as I looked at him with astonishment. "This is a new world and we need new ways to fight in it. Persia is too big for the old ways."_

"_Ay, that's true enough." Cleitus agreed. "And an army is not always in battle. I don't hear you complaining when we enter a camp and find tents up, food ready and wine on tap!"_

_Philotas looked with scorn from one man to the other but said nothing more. Craterus stayed silent too, weighing up his options at this new turn of events – they would accept it._

"_What you now need to consider Alexander is a wife." Parmenion said suddenly into the quiet room._

"_Not again, General."_

"_You need an heir and you need one now!"_

_Before I could answer there was a knock on the door and a page announced Senji and Aristander much to my surprise._

"_Gentlemen is there a problem?"_

"_Sire we have news that will affect your discussions, particularly in what General Parmenion has just said." Aristander bowed towards Senji and I looked at the Egyptian's face with some trepidation. He had found out what was wrong with Phai and from his ashen face it was not good news._

"_I now know why General Hephaestion has been sick each morning these past three weeks and is tender in his stomach and breast, not to mention eating like a horse."_

_Phai growled at the man still red in the face with anger at Philotas' words. Polyperchon laughed though._

"_Sounds like my wife when she's pregnant!"_

"_Precisely General." Answered Senji. "Because that is exactly what he is – with child."_

_The silence was deafening for a few moments until Hephaestion turned to Cleitus._

"_Nice one, Cleitus. How did you manage to persuade him to come here and say that?"_

"_I – didn't."_

"_This is ridiculous. He's a man! He can't be pregnant!" Craterus bellowed far too loudly._

_Then I recalled the Seeress; what I had asked her for and her meeting with my Phai in the corridor. Was it possible?_

_Everyone in the room was yelling at each other, the only ones quiet were Ptolemy, Cleitus, Hephaestion and myself. Phai was staring at Senji as if he wanted to rip the man's head off and I knew it would not be long before I came in for my fair share of his ire. Those blue eyes fixed and held my own, fear waging war with building anger – somehow he knew that Senji was telling the truth and had no more doubts. How could he accept something that I was having trouble with myself?_

"_Because he knows of the gods, Great King." A voice said behind me and I jumped up to find myself face to face with Hattaluna._

_She looked about at the now silent generals and smiled as if at children before walking to Phai, who was now also standing, touching his cheek in a loving way, much as I had seen his mother once do, eliciting a reciprocating smile._

"_Your Chiliarch indeed bears your King's child. You wished for Alexander to have an heir, as did he; your wish is fulfilled gentlemen."_

"_Who in Hades are you to make us believe that?" Philotas growled._

_Hattaluna stood beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder as the woman seemed to grow before our very eyes, the veil replaced with an elaborate wig upon which sat a crown – a crown in the shape of a sun disk flanked by two cow horns._

"_Hathor!" Senji breathed then sank to his knees._

_The rest were as stunned as I was but Hephaestion drew her attention with a question._

"_Why have you done this?"_

"_It was your King's wish to have an heir by you. I owe him, and you, for the reparation of my Temple. I repay my debts. Senji is one of my priests and will take good care of you. When your time comes, Hephaestion, I will be here for you. Gentlemen, your king will receive a son by the companion of his heart and soul – your Chiliarch. This child will be – unique; truly a gift of the gods."_

_With that she shimmered out of sight leaving us gasping in awe – we had truly been in the presence of a goddess. As I turned to look at Phai what I saw was nothing short of ice-cold fury. I was in deep trouble._


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: Many thanks for all the reviews they are very heart warming. Putting up this chapter as I'm away for a few days. Work!**

**Chapter Seven**

**Hephaestion POV**

"_So what do we call him now – your Queen?" Philotas' sneering voice was giving me a headache and I so much wanted to get up and punch his face in. As I did Alexander's._

"_Hardly." Ptolemy replied. "He will be Prince Consort."_

"_How lovely…"_

"_Philotas – hold your bloody tongue boy!"_

_Alexander was glaring at Parmenion's last surviving son with death in his eyes but it had no affect on either the man it was aimed at or mollifying my own anger at himself._

"_You'll need to get married, Alexander – the child must be legitimate and I assume the same 'law' applies whether the mother is male or female. This is – new ground for so many spheres of reference." Ptolemy was saying; he was thoroughly enjoying all this as if it was some new mental exercise set by Aristotle! But Alexander was nodding his agreement._

_They then began to discuss the plans for a hasty wedding before the assembled army – oh, that was going to be so much fun – and Aristander was to sacrifice for the most propitious day._

"_Excuse me." I interrupted._

"_Yes, Phai?"_

"_As I'm Chiliarch and soon to be Prince Consort can I ask that you gentlemen clear the room whilst I talk to my – husband-to-be?"_

_Strangely enough no one argued; Ptolemy and Cleitus shooed them out, the latter stopping beside me to whisper: "Don't kill or maim him too badly." Before closing the door behind him and leaving me alone with Alexander._

"_Phai – I appreciate you're not happy…"_

"_Not happy? What makes you think that? Why should I be unhappy that my lover sees fit to arrange for me to get pregnant without asking me first?"_

"_I – thought – I mean I never believed she could…"_

"_Do it? Gods, Alexander! You dragged us through a desert to find out if you are the son of a god and yet don't believe one when you see one?"_

"_I've never met a god before, Hephaestion – have you?"_

"_Yes – maybe."_

"_What?"_

"_When your mother tried to kill me – someone came to me then, saved me – and I've seen him since. He likes poking his nose into things and it seems that Hathor's a relation in that regard. Why Egyptian gods? We're Greek! Macedonian actually."_

"_Well, we did enjoy Egypt. I plan to make it the centre of the empire once Darius is dealt with."_

"_And you're changing the subject! Did it ever occur to you to ask me what I wanted?"_

"_Phai – calm down. Remember your condition – no, don't throw the jug! Look, she asked me my heart's desire – and what I want is for us to be together, have children so that they can be our joint heirs and rule this empire we're carving out. Either that or I would have to marry someone I care nothing about. Now we can be joined as I've always wanted – and I thought you wanted to be too. I thought you loved me but evidently not as much as I."_

"_Oh – please! Don't you dare pull that 'you don't love me as much as I do you' shit on me. I'd die for you tomorrow – and it looks as if I'm going to have your baby. Just ask me before making these sorts of decisions, please? It's clear to me the gods _do_ interfere, on a regular basis, in our lives and we need to take that into account from now on."_

"_I never meant to hurt you."_

"_I know, my love. But…"_

"_But what?"_

_I looked at him and gulped before vocalising my true fear._

"_Just how is it supposed to come out of me?"_

_His eyes widened at the same realisation as I had. I wasn't built for a baby to be born naturally so there was only one way it could be._

"_No – no! That's not – she wouldn't take you from me!" He pulled me into a rib crushing embrace that I returned in full measure as my destiny became clear._

_I would give Alexander an heir and die in the doing of it._

**Alexander POV**

_We moved out of Babylon in the New Year having rested and re-organised the army, bureaucracy and finances, leaving Harpolas in charge of the treasury. I assigned Cleitus to Hephaestion as a watch dog, much to Phai's annoyance, but I needed to know there was someone watching over him once we were on campaign again whom I could trust._

_Our wedding had been a short affair, vows taken before the Company Commanders who watched with resigned expressions – they had heard rumours of Hephaestion's condition and doubted it until it started to become obvious it was true by his expanding waistline. His eating habits did not improve either._

"_What is that?"_

"_It's a sherbet – a Persian dish. Taste it."_

"_But what's the sauce on it made of?"_

"_Oh, that's fish sauce."_

"_On sherbet? Phai!"_

"_Well, I like it."_

_None of this helped ease my fear for when the time came for the baby to be born so the hard campaigning through the Persian Gates and the interim took my mind off my worries._

_Darius was still running, holed up at Ecbatana whilst Susa surrendered to me and then Persepolis. The following campaign was vigorous but I knew Hephaestion had to be somewhere comfortable and so by the end of Artemisios (mid-May) we turned back towards Persepolis to await events._

_I settled him in a smaller house outside the Palace for privacy and ease of access to the hospital at the temple if needed. Besides, Hephaestion had told me he didn't like Xerxes palace at all – our first visit there had induced terrible nightmares for him and I wasn't about to let him go through that._

_We had a private supper together two days after arriving when he started to feel pains, severe ones that came and went. I called Senji who told us the baby was ready to be born. He looked as confused as we were which was not encouraging. Leading Phai into the room prepared he changed into a loose open fronted robe and lay down as the doctor fussed about getting water and whatever. Phai grabbed my hand painfully as the contractions got worse and sweat covered his face and upper body. His eyes closed at the spasm of pain and after one particularly bad one his scream rent the air and I could no longer hold back my tears._

"_Oh, Phai – what have I done to you?"_

"_Given me the happiest years of my life – Xander, he has to do it now or else the child will die."_

"_I want you!"_

"_Alexander – you got me… don't let this be all for nothing. Tell him."_

_I looked up at Senji and nodded. He bowed and ordered two priests to hold up a cloth so that Phai would not see what was about to happen. My love held my hands in his and smiled._

"_It will be a son, my king. Remember me."_

"_Always."_

_I saw Senji lift up a knife then a hand came and stopped him, a female hand – Hathor. She moved towards us and looked down at Hephaestion._

"_Don't be afraid. You will feel nothing." Then she moved back putting her hands on Phai's extended abdomen and muttering a prayer or incantation; Senji handed her the knife and she cut an incision some one and half hand long. Phai looked at me and shook his head – he felt nothing. Then she put both hands inside the open cut and pulled at the baby who, as soon as the air touched him, for it was a boy, screamed out loudly._

"_You have a son!" Hathor cried out, cutting the cord and giving the child to a priest who cleaned him up a little before passing the child to me. But all I cared for then was my Hephaestion who was smiling and crying at the same time._

"_Let me look, Xander."_

_We both stared down into a small crumbled face that resembled nothing less than a wizened old man – but he was beautiful to us. The eyes opened and took us both in, small fingers wrapping round one of my own. Phai laughed to see that._

"_Tenacious – just like his father."_

"_Hathor – save Phai."_

"_He's not going to die, Great King! It's a simple procedure and now I'll sew up the wound – so – and he'll be right as rain."_

_Which indeed he was. We had both expected him to die after the child had been cut out of him but Hathor healed the wound until there was no scar except a slight whitening of the tanned skin and no hair ever grew there. Within days he was up on his feet, his same old self only now we had a son – Achillaeus – a living testament to our love that no one could deny any longer. A banquet was definitely in order._

_But there were two things to do before that._

_On a beautiful clear day I took Achillaeus in my arms, swathed in the simple Macedonian cloth from which the army cloaks were made and led my officers out into a huge balcony of the palace to meet the assembled army._

_Beside me, dressed in parade armour, the red chalmys of the Bodyguard falling in folds down his back, as was his loose hair, stood my Hephaestion a little shy to tell the truth and concerned at the reaction to him if not to the baby._

"_Stop biting your lips."_

"_I'm just – nervous."_

"_Well, stop it. When you do that you make them very red, which gives me ideas and you wouldn't want me to act on those in front of the army, would you?"_

_He grinned at me then._

"_Wouldn't that make a story in the Agora!"_

_Our conversation was cut short as the men caught sight of us and a roar hit our ears like the crash of the sea on the rocks. I had no need to say anything, simply holding up my son and the acclamation became even more deafening if that were possible. After a while I held up my hand for quiet and they immediately subsided into a low hum but all waiting expectantly._

"_Men of Macedon, let me introduce you to your prince and future king, Achillaeus Philippos Amyntoro."_

_They let out another roar twice as noisy as before and I caught sight of Hephaestion's face when I said our son's name, his blue eyes looked huge and bright, his smile blinding; seeing this the men cheered even more and I couldn't resist handing Achillaeus to him and then hugging both to me._

"_Xander." Was whispered sharply but in a laugh as we stood, together, before our army, as one – and a bit._

_The second thing I had to do was more private and needed only myself, papyrus and pen._

'_Joy to you mother and know Hephaestion was safely delivered of a son. Both are doing well and Achillaeus is already showing he has a fine pair of lungs and healthy appetite. I cannot find the words to describe my joy and happiness in both my son and my Consort but it is beyond the wealth of the world. Be satisfied._

_Your loving son, Alexander.'_

**Hephaestion POV**

_The baby and I stayed at the house away from the rest staying in the huge palace. I don't know why I had taken such a dislike to the place but it filled me with dread and the few days I had slept there the nightmares were awful, full of marching men looking frightened to death. Strange._

_Hathor or Senji had found a wet nurse for Achillaeus and I was astonished at how quickly I recovered though I still felt weak for the first few days and it took longer for my back to stop aching. Hathor visited me once, unbeknownst to Alexander, for which I was grateful as I had questions that I was too embarrassed to ask if he was there._

"_Will this happen again?" I asked her first._

"_Alexander is the only man who can get you with child…"_

"_That's a relief, though I don't intend to take any other man to my bed. And you haven't answered my question – women have certain periods a month when they are able to beget: will that happen to us?"_

_She smiled and patted my hand, somewhat patronising I thought. As a goddess she was omniscient, I wasn't. "You are not a woman, Hephaestion. I have, however, left things so that you can bear further children and that is all I will say."_

_With that she left me in the certain knowledge that I could end up going through all this again and no way of judging when it would be safe for Alexander and I to have sex. Typical bloody woman! At which point I had the second of my three visitors that day – Ty._

"_She's one of your lot, isn't she?"_

"_Yes. The baby looks fine and healthy."_

"_He is, thankfully and every one seems overjoyed – barring Philotas. But I don't know if I'll get pregnant again the first time Xander and I…"_

"_Make love?" He looked at me then laid a cool hand on my face and closed his eyes. The bearded face broke into a smile. "She's clever. Naughty, but clever – and least I've never got anyone pregnant in my little jaunts. Hephaestion, you don't need to worry. It will be some time before your cycle begins again – and yes, she's put one in there. All I can say is whenever you're so horny you can't sit unless it's on Alexander that's when you're ready to conceive. Until then – have fun!"_

_That did not console me much but at least I had more to go on than before. If the next was as easy as this one it wouldn't be so bad and hardly interfere with my duties, especially those of Chiliarch. My 'husband' certainly wasn't stinting what he expected me to accomplish – supplies, reconnaissance, negotiations with tribes or satraps as we marched on against Darius; ensuring correspondence reached its destination, keeping a control on the King's Journal, the record of all his orders, written and verbal. Ensuring he received a précis of everything that came in from Greece and the Empire; dealing with stuff myself whenever possible and only handing it over for his personal attention when absolutely necessary. I was also in charge of the engineer corps, as well as architects and artisans; any city he wanted to found it fell to me to plan, organise and build. The same went for the numerous small garrison forts set up along the way._

_I was also in overall charge of salary, pensions and arranging funerals for the fallen. This included schooling for the numerous children in the army now, not to mention the Page Training – which is where I came into contact with Callisthenes and found yet another 'enemy'. He was the nephew of Aristotle, born in Athens and sure that Alexander's fame depended on his writings. I'd read some of what he had already written and it was so – well, let me say he was no Homer. My pregnancy he completely ignored, merely mentioning that the King had a son from his consort, but not mentioning me by name._

_All of this I had to do as well as leading the Somatophylkes in battle (a post I refused to give up anyway); we were ready to head out against Darius and finish it once and for all; I was busy preparing scouting missions, maps and supplies. So when my third visitor of the day arrived I expected the conversation to be about the campaign – it wasn't, not entirely. My visitor was Parmenion._

_After a few comments on how soon the scouts were leaving, he ambled over to the cot and looked down at Achillaeus who was sleeping soundly after his feed. I know he could have stayed in the nursery but I liked having him about; he was still a wonder to me that my body had produced this miracle. I know I was angry at first but with him there as a living testament of our love I could forgive his father – a bit._

"_They are so small at this age. So helpless." The old man was saying, more to himself than me. "But he's the continuation of the line._

"_Hephaestion I assume that once Alexander is ready we are going after Darius?"_

"_We have to. Whilst he's at large he could raise army after army against us."_

"_But that's not Alexander's reason is it?"_

_I looked at him and knew he deserved the truth, especially after his words at the Council meeting that day._

"_No it isn't. He intends to take the Empire. If we beat Darius and leave, as agreed with the League, we'll only need to do it all again. This way we keep the Greek cities free and under Macedonian hegemony to decide their own fate – as long as they pay their taxes."_

"_And after? I've seen how his eyes light up whenever he talks about the vastness of this Empire. Will he be satisfied with that or want us to go on even further?"_

"_Probably. Everything new he sees is a wonder to him and he wants more. The idea of exploration appeals to him and without an army – well, you just don't travel!"_

_His laugh was short and quite bitter. "True but I doubt many have his needs – plunder and riches yes, but to go on and on merely to learn and find new things or people for study? That they won't understand, Hephaestion. And it will lead to bitter words and acrimony, maybe even blood."_

"_Any one who threatens Alexander will go through me first! Besides, the army is loyal and will stay that way if we give them incentives to carry on – riches, women and rank. Let them know that their deeds count for something."_

"_Yes – that's the Macedonian way. Listen to me, son, you and I have had our differences and harsh words. I'll admit at first I thought you were a money grabbing sycophant…"_

"_How kind."_

"…_but you proved me wrong in that years ago. If you can win over a man like Cleitus I decided there had to be more to you than a pretty face. What you mean to Alexander is not so beyond my imagination; I loved my wife dearly and for conversation I had Antipater – the King he has combined the two in you. This puts you in a position of great power, more than any wife will ever hold."_

"_That I know – I do not intend to abuse it."_

"_Nor do I think you will. Your loyalty to Alexander is absolute and no one doubts it; but are you as loyal to the army, Hephaestion? If, the gods forbid, anything should happen to the King, will you carry on his dream or pull back to Macedon?"_

"_I can't answer that in any other way than to say that I will do what needs to be done to secure the empire for my son. But it will more likely be to consolidate what we have than extend further. Does that answer your fear?"_

_He smiled at me for the first time with genuine admiration._

"_Alexander chose well. I apologise for misjudging you all these years. And in recompense let me give you some advise and ask a favour: the favour first."_

_That didn't take long in coming I thought cynically but he surprised me._

"_I'm old, Hephaestion, over seventy. I've seen my last battle, lost most of my sons in the King's service. I have no wife or mistress. I'm tired and want to rest. So I would ask you to suggest to Alexander that he give me something – quieter."_

"_A satrapy perhaps?"_

"_Sounds good."_

"_I'll see what we can do for you Parmenion. And the advise?"_

"_Keep an eye on Philotas."_

"_Isn't he old enough to take care of himself?"_

"_Watch him, not look after him. He doesn't accept what the king is or you at all, whatever I say to him. I know my son – he's the worst one of the lot. Be careful of him, Hephaestion, for yourself, for your son and most especially for Alexander."_

_I nodded, numb at what he was saying and knowing he spoke true. Philotas was ambitious as Hades and would brook no one or anything getting in his way. Now his own father was telling me that my son was also an obstacle in his son's path as well as my King. A warm summer day had gone as cold as death and I sat unmoving for a long time after he left me wondering exactly what my options were and the best way to go about them._


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Thanks to all who have kindly reviewed this story. I'm putting up two chapters today. This one has quite a bit of angst in it and is very AU at times.**

**Chapter Eight**

**Alexander POV**

_The banquet was held as planned but didn't quite end the way I wanted. Hephaestion had left fairly early saying he was tired and he looked it; actually he had that pensive look on his face that usually denoted he had been doing a lot of hard thinking on a subject he didn't care for and had given himself a headache. I let him go saying I would be along soon._

_But the hours stretched out, the wine was consumed and the party ended in something completely off the scale of things to everyone's surprise but short-lived pleasure. I blame Thais for it all; I blamed her when I finally got back to the house covered in soot and ash to find a livid Consort in the midst of organising fire fighting teams to ensure the blaze did not spread beyond the palace grounds. Once alone I sat down and blinked as he paced up and down lecturing me, blue eyes flashing fire at me whenever I'd hove into his irate view._

"_Did it even occur to you how close this house is to the palace? The house wherein lies your son – not to mention me, your supposedly much loved consort!"_

"_I didn't expect it to go up like that! Thais suggested we set fire to it anyway."_

"_Oh, that's right. Blame some poor bloody woman. That's going to sound so good in the reports – Alexander ruled by an Athenian courtesan."_

"_Now just a…"_

"_You burnt down your own house, Alexander!"_

"_But you didn't like it, Phai."_

_He stared at me, mouth open, gulping like a fish. "I didn't suggest you burn it down! Whatever induced you to do such a thing! You're lucky I saw the flames and organised a crew to clear the Treasury out."_

"_Did you? Well done."_

"_Alexander!"_

"_Thais got up and made a speech about how Xerxes had burnt the Athens and that we should burn his palace in retribution. The idea caught on and before we knew it we had torches in our hands and set fire to the hangings and furnishings. Gods did it blaze – it was magnificent Phai; a true sacrifice to the gods to show they had been avenged."_

"_Ah – now I see."_

_He sat down beside me on the bed and locked eyes with me._

"_It was your way of telling the League you'd done their bidding, fulfilled your oath and that you're now free of any obligation to them."_

"_Why do you say that?" I asked warily._

"_I'm Chiliarch. I see your orders – the ones dismissing the allied troops? I put two and two together – what I want to know is whether you put her up to it and I want the truth."_

"_Possibly. I got the idea from you anyway."_

"_Me?"_

"_Your little idea about finding out how much cash Eumenes had ferreted away in his tent?"_

_Hephaestion had the justice there to blush as he had told me to set fire to the man's tent and see what he brought out – it was a lot of talents but we lost half the archive which was no compensation._

"_Anyway I mentioned it to Ptolemy and suggested Thais – but I only meant to burn the main hall, not the whole complex; Thais just ran amok setting her torch to everything. I did check which way the wind was blowing too, so I knew you and little Achillaeus would be safe."_

_He let out a deep sigh, then laid his head on my shoulder where I grabbed the opportunity to stroke his hair._

"_Alexander, what am I to do with you?"_

"_Join me on the terrace so we can watch it burn? It will be something people will always remember."_

"_Yes, but for good or ill?"_

"_Does it matter, Phai?"_

"_No, my king. Let's go see your little bonfire."_

_The scouts returned to say Darius was heading for Hyrcania so we set out towards Ecbatana, the capital of ancient Media. Hephaestion suggested that the seven walled palace and city would make an ideal treasury and supply depot as well as a fortified fall back position to which I agreed. His second suggestion was to place Parmenion in command of it._

_At first I was unsure. Parmenion had led the left wing for me with conspicuous success, despite the problem at Gaugamela and that was caused by Philotas in the main. The men knew and trusted him implicitly. I was always a cavalry commander; the infantry was my father's heart, the cavalry mine but I had welded them together as a whole with Parmenion's assistance as well as that of Cleitus. Although we had argued on many occasions yet I had never doubted his loyalty. To have him left at Ecbatana would leave a hole difficult to fill – but not impossible. Craterus was the obvious replacement as he was a protégé of Parmenion. But why he chose now was something I could not understand._

"_He's seventy Alexander. He wants to retire and have a few years peace and quiet."_

"_Why? He's a born soldier. Surely being stuck in Ecbatana will bore him to death?"_

_I saw him roll his eyes though he turned his head slightly so I might not see and I knew I was about to get a lecture. Phai enjoys showing how well he learned logic at Aristotle's knee. Perhaps that was why Aristotle and Xenocrites wrote to him more often than to myself._

"_He has asked for an easier assignment, my king, and at his age and the number of years of service he has put in – not to mention the loss of two sons. He more than deserves it."_

"_You need not remind me of the sons – I was there when Hector was killed."_

_Hector had been the best, a lovely young man of such potential that when he died, drowned in the Nile when their boat capsized, I was devastated at the loss. I knew some believed there was more than that but only Phai fills that place in my life; Hector would have been a great officer if he had lived, a worthy successor to Parmenion – unlike Philotas._

"_I know, my love. But he's tired. Not all of us can face fighting for the rest of our lives – yes that includes me."_

"_Hephaestion?"_

"_There is more in this world than the glory of war! The glory of making a law; bringing up our children and leaving them a safe, trouble free inheritance. Glory comes in many forms Alexander. Since Achillaeus I have thought hard on this and our original dream needs to be revised."_

_I was stunned into silence by his words. Ever since Mieza our dream had been to go east and follow in the footsteps of Achilles and Patroclus and to go beyond them. There was so much to see that no one, certainly few Greeks, had ever seen. I wanted to go beyond where Xenophon wrote about and see India and then the Outer Ocean; and I had always pictured Hephaestion by my side as eager as I. Now he was telling me that was no longer the case and my heart broke. In gaining a son had I lost my companion?_

"_Very well." I replied tersely. "Parmenion may command the rear guard at Ecbatana whilst we move on after Darius."_

"_Alexander – you do understand what I…"_

"_Enough, Hephaestion. You've been heard."_

_His mouth tightened at my abrupt tone and the eyes glimmered an icy blue._

"_No, sire, I don't think I have. As usual you only see and hear what you want and never what anyone else needs. But I warn you, my king; one day you will understand and then it could very well be too late. I'll go set up the orders for the contingent of the army staying here with Parmenion. By your leave, sire."_

"_Dismissed."_

_He gave me a short nod and strode out of the room stiff backed, a walking fury. Gods help anyone who crossed his path I thought, already regretting our disagreement. But I would make it up that night I assured myself; he never stayed angry with me for long._

_That was my second mistake of the day._

**Hephaestion POV**

_We found Darius, dying, murdered by his own officers, stabbed and left to die. The officer who found him, knowing Alexander's standing orders that if found Darius was to be treated as the King he was, gave the man water before he died. When my King reached the place he covered Darius with his own cloak and ordered that the body be returned to Susa so that the dead man's family could arrange the proper rights._

_Where did that leave us? In precisely the same place as we were before – a satrap of Bactria, Bessus, had proclaimed himself Great King and there was little chance Alexander would ignore such a challenge. He didn't and we began the move into Bactria._

_Philotas was in Command of the Companion Cavalry, with Cleitus in charge of the Royal Squadron at my suggestion. After my little chat with Parmenion I realised the only man I could truly trust to help me was Cleitus. Craterus was loyal but ambitious for his own glory – he would look after the King as long as he was the King, be it Alexander or anyone else. Ptolemy I could and did trust but he was not loved by the men as Cleitus was and I needed someone with that sort of power._

_Cleitus came to visit me a few days after Parmenion ostensibly to discuss the campaign but also to check on the baby. Unlike the older general he had no compunction in picking up Achillaeus and hold him in huge hands that I had seen deliver terrible blows to the human body and which I once saw crush a puppy's skull. His smile was sunshine though and he let the young prince grab his finger and pull as much as he wanted._

"_He has your eyes, Hephaestion."_

"_All children have blue eyes in the first week or so."_

"_He's nearly a month old and they are light sapphire – got his father's obstinate nature though. No, the finger belongs to me; you can't have it."_

_Patting a place beside me on the couch that I had had placed on a balcony, I watched for a while as he rocked my son to sleep. I was seeing a whole different side to the man and one that confirmed to me I had made the right choice._

"_What is your opinion of Philotas?" I asked them._

"_He's an arrogant, over-dressed bastard – if ever there was a cuckoo in the nest it's Philotas. Hector was completely different; he thought of the king, the men and then himself."_

"_Yet you do not always agree with Alexander on what he's doing or how."_

"_That's my right as a Macedonian to tell my King how I feel – and it is his right to expect my obedience, once we've argued it all out. Philotas simply wants a king who'll do his bidding."_

"_Then he's had a disappointment, hasn't he?"_

_I found myself looking into deep brown eyes that held a question in their depths._

"_Cleitus I believe you're the only man here I can trust beside my Alexander."_

"_What do you wish me to do, Hephaestion?"_

"_I want you to help me protect my King and my son from anything Philotas might try. I've – been warned to watch him."_

_He nodded more forcefully. "Sound advice. I'm your man, Chiliarch."_

"_I'm not asking you as Chiliarch but as a – parent and a – partner."_

_His laugh was loud but still pleasant and the baby joined in until his turned to hiccups at which I called in the nurse to deal with him. By the ear splitting screams that then hit the air, Achillaeus was not at all happy at my interference._

"_There – he likes me, Phai! I will protect your family as my own. You as well, beauty. Now what do I get for it?" and he leaned into me, his face barely inches from mine._

_The kiss when it happened took neither of us by surprise except to me as to how pleasant it was._

"_Why are you always kissing Hephaestion whenever I come here, Cleitus?" Alexander's voice broke in and this time he wasn't smiling at all._

"_I was kissing him, Alexander – payment for a little job I need him to do for me – as Chiliarch."_

"_Do not make a habit of it."_

"_Absolutely not, your majesty." Cleitus beamed before leaving the room._

_Then Alexander and I discussed Parmenion's wish to retire and we came close to the worst argument we had ever had. I knew he wouldn't understand how I now felt and that he would take it as a betrayal but I was also angry that he made no attempt to see my side of the situation. When he came to me that night, he thought a few soft words, kisses and a quick tumble would make it all right. Was he wrong there! I turned my back on him and his outrage was a tangible, physical thing._

"_You turn your back on me, your king?"_

"_My king? I'm sorry I didn't realise it was a order." And turning lay on my stomach spreading my legs._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_You gave me an order, sire; so mount me and be done with it."_

_The look of shock on his face sobered me up at once but I was so angry I had no intention of backing down._

"_I have no need to 'mount' an unwilling bed mate. There are plenty of people who will gladly take me to their bed."_

"_Ha!" I turned my back on him again. "Then go find one."_

"_I think I will."_

_I felt the bed lurch as he got up, heard the rustle of silk as he put on his robe and flinched when he slammed the door shut._

"_Well done, Hephaestion. You and your bloody pride. Fuck!" then I proceeded to do something I hadn't done since a boy; I cried myself to sleep._

_We pushed on after Bessus whose support was dwindling with every day he hid from us. He had been supported by a number of high ranking Persians who had had enough of Darius' military incompetence. What they replaced him with was even worse though he had learned the good tactic of burning and destroying food in our path. Fortunately I had considered that possibility and set up supply depots across the empire that I could call on and ensure continuous supplies as we advanced._

_Cleitus kept an eye on Philotas and reported back to me anything unusual – which was nothing. Craterus continued to complain about his arrogance to the king but Alexander wanted more than that. Cassander's words came back to me painfully then of how he would always give a home to a worn out hunting dog or friend. Philotas was one and I was likely becoming another. We hadn't slept with each other since that night almost four weeks ago which, unless I was away, was rare indeed._

_Slowly the Persians who had supported Bessus drifted away from him and came to give their surrender to Alexander. Amongst them was Narbarzanes, the cavalry commander from Gaugamela._

_He was a handsome man but politically astute knowing that his role in the murder of Darius could earn him a cross or a pardon but never trust. He brought gifts; magnificent horses, caparisons and embroidered blankets. And he also brought something else, a thing beloved greatly by Darius himself – a eunuch called Bagoas._

_The eunuch was sixteen years old, beautiful in a feminine, willowy way; graceful as a gazelle and trained to please – to be quiet, subservient and never argue or answer back. He was a body servant and Alexander accepted him as such in the same way he had taken Darius' tent, chariot and bath tub. What I could see immediately was that he would take this creature to his bed, unlike his attitude to Darius' wife and daughters._

_I wasn't the only one who noticed his interest in the youth and how he would absent mindedly stroke the flawless skin on a bare arm as Bagoas served him at table or helped him with his toilette._

"_First dress. Now he takes a eunuch to his bed!" Callisthenes muttered loudly to Philotas. "Where will it all end?"_

"_In trouble if his arrogance hasn't gone so far as to make him blind to it. The men are tired and want to go home and spend their wealth."_

"_Whilst the king goes on and on…ah, Chiliarch, how are you today?"_

_As if he cared except to see how much Bagoas' rise to favourite had affected me – I'm sure he hoped it would be painfully noticed._

_I answered I was well and walked on, determined never to give them the satisfaction of seeing my deep hurt. I made a note, however, of Philotas' words._

_But we were all wrong. The King did not take the eunuch to his bed but realised very early on his assistance with the Persians would be invaluable. We had lost Pharnuches at the Persian Gates and I had to admit the loss of a liaison between our two 'worlds' was great. I understand why Alexander adopted some of their dress and ways of etiquette because that was how he could bring the two differing halves of his empire – and it was _his_ empire, Bessus or no Bessus – together. Philotas, Craterus and their ilk never saw beyond their teaching that Persians were barbarians and only to be conquered, not treated with respect if not equality._

_Alexander wanted a united empire, one that would outlast him to his glory and the eunuch would help by explaining their ways to him and ours to the Persian visitors and officers. That he was easy on the eye was no problem as the King had always liked to be surrounded by beauty. I understood all this and was civil to the boy who seemed shy and scared when the King wasn't in sight – I knew the Pages teased him unmercifully and had to reprimand Hycanthus for it. Give him his due; after that he stopped the worst of it from the others – as to the rest, Bagoas would have to fight his own battles. No one would do him physical harm anymore than they would hurt the King's dog or horse, of that I was sure._

_However, from a strictly personal view I hated the very thought of the creature. He was young, beautiful, flawless – no scars from battle marred a perfect skin; there were no bags under his eyes from sleepless nights or mounds of paperwork or disputes to see to that kept you away from your lover – and he never had fights with Alexander. As I did. This played on my mind a great deal until I was almost desperate that Xander would prove I was still attractive to him._

_We held a banquet in honour of Philip's accession day, Macedonians only, and I dressed carefully – a dark blue chiton of soft linen embroidered at hem and neck, high sandals laced about recently shaved and oiled legs – I had my hair brushed until it gleamed and left it to fall loosely; finally I used the merest hint of kohl, just enough to accentuate my eyes and went into battle. I shared his couch and deliberately kept the conversation simple, laced with enough innuendoes that before half way through the banquet he had lost all interest in food, wine and anyone else. I had dressed to recall our first time as lovers, real lovers, after Charaonea and I saw he remembered it. We kissed and I didn't care we had an audience; his hand moved up my thigh and beneath the chiton and I ignored the gasp from Philotas nearby and the amused chuckle of Ptolemy beside him – there were no women there that night, so he had no Thais to burn the place down. My own hands were not idle either enjoying the play of smooth skin over hard muscles; running soft bronze locks through my fingers as our tongues did their own dance together._

"_Would you two like to go somewhere private before we lose another palace in a conflagration?"_

_I was only surprised Cleitus knew such a long word but Alexander and I exchanged a brief look and then hurriedly left the hall to a chorus of whistles and shouted advice._

_The door was hardly shut and Pages tersely dismissed before I found my clothes off and my back hitting the floor; his onslaught was strategic, methodical and relentless until I felt myself breached and arched up as the pain quickly turning to pleasure as he pounded into my body with almost violent determination. All our angst, all our pent up anger and sadness of the past weeks was assuaged, washed away in a flood of passion, seamen and tears; he took me time after time – on my back, on my stomach, on my knees and bent over the balcony until we collapsed on the bed totally exhausted and fell asleep._

"_Joy to you, my consort." I heard as I woke, feeling fingers mapping out my features, lingering over my lips._

"_Joy to you – husband. You really should ask Callisthenes to come up with some new words to explain our relationship – I don't like to be called a wife and as to 'mother'!"_

"_You are Achillaeus' mother though – and a very beautiful one too I might add."_

"_Um." I crooned. "Prove it."_

_We were late for that morning's Council session much to the amusement of most there. The final movements of troops were discussed and orders prepared for our campaign in Bactria where we now heard tell a Persian satrap called Satibarzanes had revolted. The camp was packed up and our movable city was on the move again._

**Alexander POV**

_It was almost the end of Gorpiaios (September) when I received two blows at once, both caused by Philotas._

_Hephaestion had been gone four long weeks on a supply mission and I was missing him badly. After our argument over Parmenion we had drawn apart to both our misery but then the night of my father's accession banquet all was forgotten and we were back as before, except hopefully a little wiser. I saw now, as Hephaestion had tried to explain to me, that I had a duty to pass on a unified empire to Achillaeus and to do that there had to be boundaries drawn. But they had not yet been reached and I had revolts and Bessus to remove first, hence the need to send him on the supply mission._

_When he finally returned things happened so quickly I was left in a daze. First and foremost Hephaestion was with child again, throwing up each morning and not looking as well as he had the last time – there was no bloom in his cheeks which were sunken and pale and so was his temper. My consort was not pleased, mostly I have to say at himself._

"_I was told the signs, I ignored them. My fault…"_

"_Not entirely, Phai. And Achillaeus will like having a brother."_

_Senji checked him and gave him something to ease the nausea but told me that the pregnancy might not go as well as the last. Did that prove to be an under- statement! Hephaestion was never a whiner – he could take a boar gore, sword thrust or an arrow in the calf with only a few grunts or scream and live with it. Not with this pregnancy though – he felt sick, his back ached, his ankles were swollen; it tired him to sit, to walk and to stand and getting him on a horse was bordering on the impossible. It was almost a relief when the conspiracy was uncovered because it finally gave him something to take his mind off how lousy he felt._

_The whole thing was confusing from beginning to end. I had been hunting that day and came back to enjoy a nice warm bath before a quiet supper with Ptolemy and Thais. They'd arranged it so Phai and I could have the peace of mind of being able to yell at each other without shocking anyone else. I was, however, disturbed whilst still in the bath by Hycanthus rushing in and telling me an officer was there of the name of Nikias with something urgent._

_The urgency was a plot by an officer called Dymnus who intended to kill me because I had 'strayed from the true Greek way' in my liking of Persians and consolidating them into my empire as allies rather than as defeated barbarians. His lover had gotten cold feet and told his brother who then acted by telling of the plot to a senior officer as I had been unavailable. The officer in question was Philotas – and no mention of a plot against me ever passed his lips despite the fact that we had gone hunting together, twice, since Nikias told him._

_When Nikias still saw Dymnus and his friends free he decided to come to me direct and that's when he found me in the bath. I called Hephaestion in immediately (he was in the next room anyway) and he set about sealing the camp and arranging for the arrest of the conspirators quietly. Cleitus was asked to bring Philotas to me at the command tent and once Phai signalled all was ready, I accused him to his face of treason._

"_He's lying Alexander – no one said anything to me."_

"_That's not what he says. Nor does his brother."_

"_And," Hephaestion interrupted. "Dymnus committed suicide as soon as my men arrived – why would he do that if there was no plot?"_

"_I don't doubt his guilt 'Chiliarch'; I say I didn't know about it."_

"_He spoke to you twice." Hephaestion continued. "That has been confirmed by another witness."_

"_Who? Craterus? He's hated me for years."_

"_No – Dion, your own page."_

_Here Philotas' sneer wavered and dropped. "Well maybe he did but I didn't take it seriously."_

"_Really? A threat to your king is not to be taken seriously?"_

"_They were lower class officers, unlikely to go through with it and I had no intention of encouraging your paranoia, Chiliarch."_

_Here I stopped him. "So now you admit he spoke to you and you never told me."_

"_I rarely see you sire…"_

"_We have hunted together twice this week and had, as I recall a wonderful conversation on Antigone's wardrobe but you had no chance to tell me my life was in danger? Cleitus! Take him away!"_

_That left me with my second problem – Parmenion. Were they involved more deeply than simple absent mindness? Or was Philotas holding his tongue to see how things would play out – if I died my son was a baby but then there was Hephaestion – of course! They must have planned to kill us both._

"_Craterus, I need information from Philotas and the rest of who else is involved and what their exact plans were. See to it – and take Coenus with you."_

_I did not doubt Coenus whether he was married to Philotas' sister or not, but he had to show the army he wasn't involved or he would never lead them again._

_When we were alone I looked at Phai who was even paler than usual, his eyes ablaze. He was livid._

"_Alexander I want to be part of that interrogation."_

_I refrained from asking if it was wise in his condition. "Very well. You know what I need from him."_

"_Parmenion?"_

_I nodded. He was in command of 20,000 troops lying straight across my line of communication and in a powerful position to do me harm. As head of his family if I executed Philotas, as I would, he would have a blood feud with me and mine. Would he act on it? After the loss of three sons, who knew? But I needed to know._

"_He warned me against Philotas, Xander. I doubt he's either involved or would condone it. However, that's beside the point."_

"_I'd like something, Phai – the man has served my family loyally for decades. But I will not take a threat to you or my son without retaliation and I will make that clear – to everyone."_

_He smiled at me shortly. "Let me deal with Philotas first. The camp is sealed so no news will get to Ecbatana."_

_I nodded and he left; part of me had some sympathy for the poor man's fate as my lover was in no mood to be merciful. This was a direct threat against me and he never looked kindly on that – not to mention a possible attack on my son. He wouldn't consider himself until later._

_Reports came in from the officers interrogating the other conspirators who all denied Philotas was ever involved; their plans did include Hephaestion's murder (and the baby he was carrying) and placing Parmenion as Regent for my son. I couldn't stop shaking as Nearchus read the report to me. What had I done to deserve this?_

"_They said it was because you're going 'Asian'; no longer a true Macedonian with your adoption of Persian dress…"_

"_I wear a robe over a chiton!"_

"…_taking them to your bed, especially the eunuch."_

"_That has _never_ happened. Truly Nearchus, I'm blameless there."_

"_Then I owe you an apology too as I thought you had bedded the boy. They're also unhappy that your 'consort' seems in league with foreign deities."_

"_What!"_

"_They take exception to his link with Hathor – ignoring the idea that's she's the same as Aphrodite. They consider her 'foreign'."_

_This was too much. I could not tolerate such bigotry or intolerance. A god is a god whatever their name or who worships them. Instead of living in awe at the proof these life forms existed, they were being racist! Unbelievable!_

**Hephaestion POV**

_The Assembly found Philotas guilty, along with the others and condemned them to death. He had been tortured but knew nothing. I know, I was there; I took a great deal of satisfaction in beating the bastard up before letting Craterus get down to using less crude methods. Philotas was never a coward and he proved it that day, refusing to implicate his father or admit to any other error save negligence._

_Negligence? It was treason, pure and simple. If you love your king, if you are loyal and you are told of a plot to kill him you don't shrug it off as nonsense, especially if you're Macedonian – Kings are assassinated on a regular basis there. A loyal subject would have rushed to either Alexander or myself and told us of the plot. Even if it had turned out to be nothing more than the disgruntled murmurings of a few belligerent officers in their cups, it would have been the right thing to do. You wouldn't just ignore it!_

_Unless you hoped it would happen and wanted to benefit from it yourself. Dymnus' suicide proved it was a genuine threat and Philotas knew that – he was biding his time and hoping Alexander would over look it, if it all went wrong, as he had done so many times before. This time, however, he was wrong – Alexander did not let 'friendship' stand in the way of correct judgement because he realised as well as I that their plan had to include killing me (Philotas wouldn't cry at that) as well as our unborn child. That is what neither of us could forgive – the threat to the other half of our souls and child._

_He died well, speared in the traditional Macedonian way. I shed no tears for the man who wanted to take from me the one person who made my life worth while. Argue we may do, but Alexander is everything to me and I would be nothing if anything happened to him. That left us with one painful question – what to do about Parmenion._

_Under Macedonian law and tradition he was the head of the household and responsible for the actions of its members and by association as guilty as Philotas. He could also call on the right of blood feud at the killing of his son; not to mention his strategic position with an army which could cause us not a little problem – if he chose he could cut us off and leave us to rot. I believed that would never happen and for his words to me that day I owed him._

"_Let me go to Ecbatana, my king. Let me talk to him. The camp is sealed; no word will have reached him. If he was in the confidence of his son in this and he sees me his face will tell me everything, especially if he believed I would be dead. Give him that chance, Alexander."_

"_Yes. He deserves that much. Take Cleitus with you and Senji."_

"_Xander…"_

"_Hephaestion – for once don't argue with me! You're not well and I want the best doctor I have with you."_

_Reluctantly I agreed and the next day set off back to Ecbatana. We had to make speed and it was without doubt the worst journey of my life. I was sick as a dog each morning, barely slept each night because of back ache and nightmares at what I was going to do. Cleitus never said one word in fun of my condition, quietly helping me off Hera, the mare I was riding (Aries was too much a war horse and hard to ride in my condition); giving me a cushion for my back as we ate a frugal supper and talking about anything except babies and Parmenion._

_Ecbatana came into view with its huge seven walls surrounding each terrace as it climbed up the mountain side. It was cool in summer and less gaudy than Persepolis – I preferred it to Babylon as the Medes, whose capital it was, had more refined or less vulgar taste. At the gate to the citadel we were met by our quarry himself._

_He was dressed in the Greek fashion but looked fatter than when I last saw him if a little yellow in the skin. His smile was cheerful and genuine._

"_Hephaestion! This is a surprise. How is the king and is little Achillaeus doing well?"_

"_Parmenion. Both are well, the gods be thanked."_

"_You look tired – come, I have refreshments ready."_

_Cleitus dismissed our escort and we followed the old man through to his private rooms as he chatted about this and that to do with the garrison. This was not a guilty man and both Cleitus and I exchanged a look as our hearts sank. At least if he had been guilty it would have been the excuse we needed to assuage our conscience but he didn't give us that satisfaction._

"_So, why are you here? Does Alexander need more men because a contingent has finally arrived from Macedon?"_

"_No. Parmenion, Philotas was caught in treason. He knew of a plot to kill my – king and did not warn anyone he knew of it."_

_He closed his eyes at that. "Is he dead?"_

"_He was judged by the Assembly." Cleitus answered. "Found guilty and put to death."_

_Parmenion nodded and looked at me. "I told you he would do something like this – not conspire himself but see what would happen."_

"_Yes, you warned me. And that's why I am here, to give you the chance of a way out with honour. We owe you so much, Parmenion, and for your son to put you in this predicament…"_

"_Thank you, Hephaestion. I also assume the plot was to take your life too? Are you – pregnant again? Ah. The King must be seen to act in this or else he will lose face and appear weak. That cannot be."_

"_If you swear, in public, that you knew nothing of it and condemn your son, no further action will be taken." I saw Cleitus' head jerk round to me at that – it wasn't what we had agreed with the King but I felt it was the only just way out of the situation._

_Parmenion smiled at me and rolled his eyes at Cleitus. "He's still Athenian at heart, eh Cleitus? Thank you for the thought Hephaestion, but that's not the Macedonian way. If it helps you – I'm dying anyway. A tumour my doctor tells me, I have weeks only. Oh, its true. I'm not saying it simply to ease your conscience. Ask my doctor; better yet get Senji to examine me."_

"_Yes – I will."_

_The diagnosis was as he said – he had a growth on his liver and Senji said the malignancy could have spread throughout his body – hence the yellowing of the skin. He had indeed only weeks to live and would die in great pain unless dosed up by poppy juice until he was in a dream world._

"_So you see, let me do this one last act for my King so that the men can see he still holds by our laws and hasn't become too Asianised. My gift to you, son, for all the years of distrust."_

_He did call together an assembly and told them what had occurred and they judged him as culpable with tears in their eyes. Then he turned to me and hugged me before them all – his way of ensuring they knew I was not to blame for their commander's demise. I appointed Seleucas in his place and we then returned to his rooms._

_Senji gave us an opiate to give him. It took around an hour for him to die but he was in no pain, quite lucid and talking about his son Hector – no mention at all of the traitor. I stayed to give him an honourable funeral, then set out to return to my king and my son._


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Second chapter today. Bagoas truly comes on scene and more angst I'm afraid!**

**Chapter Nine**

**Alexander POV**

_Hephaestion gave birth to another son, Alexandros, but before his term was finished. Senji said the babe was in distress and my Phai was so gaunt and weak he couldn't be feeding the child. The baby was small and did not cry as lustily as Achillaeus had done but Senji saved him and found a good wet nurse._

_My Chiliarch fared no better. Hathor did not appear this time so Senji cut and sowed him up himself. For a few days it seemed all would be well though Phai was terribly weak. Then the fever hit him and I was losing him – physically. I had lost him, emotionally, months before. Both were my fault as Cleitus was not slow to point out._

_I had appointed Hephaestion as Commander of the Companions but he said he was in no condition to do that and his role as Chiliarch so I split the command between him and Cleitus. They worked well together which would be noted by the men who also liked Cleitus as an old-guard Macedonian. He was also the best cavalry officer, beside myself, I had. Craterus was livid but stayed quiet about me – but I knew he blamed Hephaestion; we had discussed him and decided he was better with infantry, where he had always fought, than cavalry – he would take Parmenion's place. That was not enough for him but he knew how to bide his time._

_We had moved into the Caucasus and it was on our journey there that things between Phai and I went terribly wrong. The pregnancy was making him ill, crotchety and argumentative. He disagreed or found fault with all I did and was constantly advising me that when Bessus had been captured we should return to Babylon and go no further. I was not prepared to do that; the boundaries of the Empire had yet to be reached and I was King so it was up to me, not him, to say what the army would or would not do._

_I would return to my tent and the quiet ministrations of Bagoas who never raised his voice or complained at what I was doing. To him I was his King, the Great King, almost a god on earth, and not to be questioned. He was also very beautiful and when he danced for me, to take my mind off any quarrels I had had with Phai, it calmed me down, then slowly I realised that his body, moving in graceful arcs and supple positions was arousing me. It was a short step from the dance floor to bed and we took it with alacrity._

_He was no soft female nor yet hardened warrior as Hephaestion was, but a lovely body that was sweet to take and taught me many new pleasures I wouldn't have thought of for an instant. No wonder Darius' had loved him. In private I couldn't keep my hands off that flawless flesh; in public it was my eyes. Hephaestion and Cleitus had gone ahead to set up winter camp in a new city I wanted building so they were not there to worry me. As for the rest no one dared say a thing in words but their eyes were not silent._

_Finally Ptolemy came to me._

"_The men are not happy with this – infatuation – with the eunuch, my King."_

"_They'll have to live with it. He's helping me with understanding the Persian court etiquette."_

"_Is that what it's called now?"_

"_Ptolemy – take care. You are not Hephaestion."_

"_No – I'm a friend, to you both. How do you think he's going to take this little affair of yours? A woman the men could understand but this cut creature? To replace a man as devoted as your Chiliarch…"_

"_Who says he is replaced? He is no such thing. The boy eases me that is all."_

"_But will Phai see it that way, Alexander?"_

_We reached the new Alexandria and Hephaestion had, as always, done his work well. The city was already being built and the winter camp all ready. There was plenty of fresh water and nearby grazing for the animals and supplies were arriving on a regular basis from the depots he had set up. The men walked into well set up homes as soon as they marched through the gates and they actually cheered Hephaestion as he made his way through them to me. I saw his face register surprise then happiness as his thin, but still lovely, face broke into a warm smile thanking them and suggesting to men he met whom he knew had families which were the best huts to accommodate them._

_Our own meeting was quiet, as was the supper we had together but he retired early as he was not feeling well. Bagoas came to me then and we made love, I coming on a cry – crying Phai's name, not his. It sobered me up somewhat as to what I had started but the next night he was in my arms again, however hard I tried not to. That was where Hephaestion found us the next morning._

_He always had access to me, night or day, and the guards had been given no other orders to the contrary. I'll never forget his face as long as I live. What little colour it held drained from him at the sight of us. Bagoas hurriedly left us as Phai simply stood there, rooted to the spot, his lips hardening to a white, thin line; his eyes glistening at the first sign of tears. But before they fell he swung about on his heel and left the room._

_I couldn't move myself – I'd hurt him badly at a time when he was vulnerable. I should have gone after him but sat there instead making excuses not to go to face my guilt. After all, I was king; my mother had put up with a lot more concubines and young men than Phai had up to that point – I had remained faithful to him for years and I saw no reason to justify this one affair. So I set about my day and left him to his, hoping he would see the sense of it all and that it meant nothing really without my having to explain that. Of course he didn't but he never said one word to me in reproach, merely looked at me with huge eyes that had chilled almost to opaqueness and carried on his work on the city._

_Cleitus, however, was not so accepting and told me so to my face._

"_You're a bloody fool, Alexander. What in Hades do you think you're doing with that piece of Persian shit whilst your Consort is bearing your child under serious health difficulties?"_

"_Cleitus – my relationship with Bagoas has nothing to do with how I feel about Phai…"_

"_Really? Have you told him that?"_

"_He won't talk about it."_

"_You mean you won't! You go and see him about the city or supplies for the next season's campaign and run out of there like a scalded cat! By the gods, I'd never believe I'd see the day when the great Alexander proved himself a coward."_

"_How –dare you!"_

"_I dare because, unlike yourself, I care about Hephaestion and I'm worried about him."_

"_I know how you feel about my consort, I'm not blind!"_

_By now we were faced off, the man a lot taller than myself, but that was forgotten in our anger._

"_I love him, your majesty. I have since I first set eyes on him when he came to court at 14. I asked Amyntor if I could be his _erastes_ and was accepted but you got there first. And I'll see you in Hades before I let you hurt him any more. Sire."_

"_Why can't he see the boy means nothing to me?"_

"_Because that is not how it appears to any of us! Because the boy is young, scarless and beautiful. Because your consort is a soldier with battle scars and is pregnant with your child and ill with it. Because he believes he is no longer attractive, physically, to the man he loves more than this world. Because he believes your love affair is over and he's coming to terms with it the best he can. Now do you understand your majesty? You've done this at the worst fucking time Alexander – when he's vulnerable physically and mentally. He's not got over the Philotas affair where he could have seen you and his child dead. He still mourns that old man, Parmenion. And what does his lover do? Takes up with a bloody fucking eunuch!"_

_He was right in all of it but all I could hear was his admission of love for my Hephaestion and that he had wanted to be his _erastes_ – how dare he! From then on my jealousy of Cleitus was a burning brand that never extinguished. All he was trying to do was bring Phai and myself back together but I didn't see that, only his love for my consort – a consort I had abandoned._

_Then the babe was born and Hephaestion was dying in front of my eyes and I was powerless to do anything. Except pray. I sacrificed to Dionysus, to Heracles and to Hera. Then I joined Senji in his less bloody offering to Hathor._

"_Please, Great Lady, help him. This is my fault; don't let him suffer for it."_

_We both returned to the patient who was barely able to breath now. However, he seemed at peace and when I started to babble of my guilt over the eunuch he stopped me with a hand over my mouth._

"_Shush – none of that. It's over now, my love. We couldn't have gone on as lovers forever and you've been more faithful to me than most husbands. Be at peace there. Take care of our sons. Trust Cleitus above all…"_

"_He'll not forgive me Phai, not for this."_

"_Yes – he will. He'll watch over my sons, I know it."_

_As did I; he'd put them before me in fact._

_Then Hathor arrived and set about telling us we were all idiots and didn't we think of giving him such and such a herb to reduce the infection he was obviously suffering from. From our blank faces she knew the answer to that. Whilst giving Senji and myself a lecture in medicine she set about re-opening Phai's wound, cleaning out the infection and then giving him a herbal potion to remove it from his system. It was three days of fear and worry._

"_I cannot bring him back from the dead. He's not fighting this the way a man of 27 should. What has happened?"_

_I told her and she rounded on me in a deluge of Egyptian that I couldn't understand but got the gist of by Senji's blanching face. Phai caught more of it than I did as he had been instructed in Egyptian by his secretary, Ankhtefi, the Egyptian who had followed him from Memphis – not me, but Phai was his first loyalty. Apparently it was quite colourful and amusing – or so he thought._

_On the third day the fever had dropped and his breathing was back to normal. By the fifth day he was sitting up and even walking a little – as far as the latrine anyway. She had saved him and I had my Hephaestion back but our relationship was different._

"_Keep your Bagoas, Alexander. Our time is over as lovers as I said. But we have our sons and you will have my devotion, love and loyalty, my King."_

_He kept his word and never showed in public that our affair had ended. We both knew it though – he was the first amongst friends; he still told me what he believed I needed to know and watched my back but there were no more late night sessions talking of philosophy or whatever new animal or plant we had discovered. It was all business now, no love and definitely no sex. What had I done?_

**Hephaestion POV**

_Bessus is dead; betrayed, tied up and left for Alexander to collect like a piece of post. Ptolemy brought him in, a rough, broken man. Alexander handed him over to Oxarthes, Darius' younger brother, to put on trial in Ecbatana. If we had hoped that was the end we were wrong as another 'Great King' sprang up in the form of Spitamenes. He was one of the best fighters we had come across and it took us months to track him down._

_The army wintered at Maracanda. The boys were settled in a wing of the palace away from the rest as Alexandros was weak but gaining strength. As to Achillaeus he was a bundle of energy, tottering already and chattering in unintelligible words all day long whilst I worked at my desk. When the King wanted to see them they were taken to his apartments. I did not go._

'_The King', not 'Alexander'. He was mine no longer in that private, personal sense we once had. I was still his second-in-command, Chiliarch and I would work for him till my death but we were lovers no longer. I understood why he found the boy attractive but what use was he? Oh, granted he acted as liaison between the disparate parts of the court but so did Peucastes and myself who had taken to the king's need of integration. Craterus and Cleitus did not however; Craterus quietly, Cleitus in your face objection._

_Cleitus had been my support since Alexandros' birth, always there and never belittling the king in my hearing. I knew something had gone on between them, that they had argued but neither told me what it was; the King did not confide in me as he once did. He still needed me though and sent me that winter to Bactra to restore order there. I said goodbye to the children, asked Acte to watch them for me and took a brief farewell of my King._

_Taking Hero, Damon and a contingent of the Cavalry and Royal Hypaspists I went to Bactra and beat a few heads together to see reason then sat down with them and argued out what it would take to keep them quiet. I reinstated the Chieftains in charge, arranged marriages to keep the peace and headed back to Maracanda._

_It was a hard ride and I reached my destination tired and ready for food and a bed. The guards told me there had been a banquet to honour Dionysus and the Twins which was still going on, so I headed over to the banquet hall hoping to find some food and wine for myself after seeing to my men and checking in the nursery. I walked in on a scene of such horror I couldn't believe my eyes._

_Cleitus and Alexander faced each other, bellowing at the top of their voices, almost incoherent in their argument when I saw the King grab a spear from a bemused guard and turn it on a stunned Cleitus._

"_ALEXANDER!" I roared out in my loudest battlefield voice, which stopped him long enough for me to kick out at the spear and snap it from his hands as he stared at me._

"_The rest of you, out now!" I grabbed up the fallen spear throwing it to Ptolemy as he herded the guests out and I was left with two hard breathing school boys._

"_Have you both lost your minds? What kind of example do you think you're setting here? And you – my King – would you murder one of your best generals, in a drunken brawl? I thought you believed yourself a god, above such pathetic human emotions!"_

"_Hephaestion…"_

"_Shut up! You disgrace yourself, Alexander; you make a fool of yourself and in so doing endanger not only yourself but MY sons! How dare you!_

"_And you can wipe that grin off your face Cleitus, son of Dropidas. I asked you to watch my family and I find you fighting with my King? What does that make you?"_

"_A Macedonian putting over his concerns to his King, as is my right."_

"_In such a way as to make him almost run you through? What was this argument about?"_

_They both started in then, till I held up my hand and swatted Alexander over the head and punched Cleitus with the other._

"_I don't care what it was about! You will both apologise – I said both, Alexander – and shake hands. Or by Hera's tits I swear I'll take my sons and myself and return to Macedon right now!"_

"_Hephaestion! You would take our – why Macedon?"_

"_Because my family is there, people who love me and mine."_

"_Oh, Phai. Cleitus, I apologise; I'd never knowingly hurt you. It was the wine and the anger of the gods."_

_Cleitus stared at me long and hard, his eyes saying more to me than words, then he turned to the King and took the proffered hand._

"_I too, your Majesty, apologise; forgive my words – I meant the best for you as I see how the men are reacting; my loyalty is to you and your heirs." Here he looked at me again._

_Whatever god had turned me back I gave thanks to them as not only would I have lost Cleitus but also Alexander – he would never have forgiven himself if he had murdered such an old friend._

_Spitamenes was finally killed. And we had the rest of Bactria to subdue before we could turn back to Babylon – if the King decided to let us. He knew my mind on the subject and in early Dystros (mid-Feb) something occurred to make this clearer still to me – that we had gone far enough and had to consolidate the empire for Achillaeus. Alexandros died, not even a year old._

_He had never been strong but he succumbed to a fever and died in my arms, Alexander holding me as we both wept over the tiny body. I had seen men die in their thousands; had wounds myself and seen Alexander in mortal danger more times than I could remember. Yet it was the death of this small boy that nearly destroyed me._

_The army turned out to a man at the funeral; I watched as the small body was engulfed in flames and I couldn't cry anymore. Dry eyed I stood beside the King until there was nothing left but ashes of Alexandros. He had been a part of me for nine months, lay in my arms less than a year and now he was gone – who would remember him years from now except me and Alexander. Would he even remember with his eunuch and duties as Great King, a small bundle who hadn't been around long enough to make his personality known. I began to feel alone; that I was the only person who would remember my baby and that I now had to work on that day after day. It was now my mission in life, the memory of my dead son must be kept alive. This alienated me from Alexander more than ever. All I was interested in was Achillaeus and his welfare, and if that was in opposition to Alexander's needs – so be it._


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note; I want to thank everyone who has so kindly reviewed - Queendel, Mlygia, Jelena, Norrsken and anyone whose name I can't remember at 3.00 a.m! A little more angst I'm afraid and Alexander _never_ learns, but...**

**I'm not sure if the ancients knew about post-natal depression but I'm quite sure the women suffered from it the same as they do today...**

**The notorious 'You are nothing without me' incident is also here, with a twist - it's AU after all.**

**Chapter Ten**

**Alexander POV**

_I had now totally lost Hephaestion. He no longer shared my dream, only the need to safeguard our remaining son's inheritance. Ever since the birth of Alexandros he had not been the same with me. Oh, I know I slept with the damn eunuch but that was nothing but a physical need – I never loved him as I did Hephaestion, I will never love anyone as I do him, ever. What was wrong with him? He no longer laughed or argued with me but gave commands. Why was that? I asked Senji, as the weeks went by after Alexandros' death and Phai seemed to withdraw into himself, what the problem was – physical or mental?_

"_I've seen it many times in women who have given birth, Great King. It is melancholia, a malaise that descends on them for no physical reason."_

"_Do they get over it?"_

"_Most, yes. But the Chiliarch had a bad pregnancy to begin with. Then, well, there were personal – you and the eunuch…"_

"_Yes, I know. I was there."_

"_And now the death of the boy has sunk his mind even further into the malaise. My King he could possibly be suicidal – this I have also seen."_

"_No – he's too intent on Achillaeus' survival for that; he blames me for it all and I don't think he is wrong."_

"_Perhaps. Give him time, sire."_

_Time. Time heals all, time ends all. I had only one son, a son I had dreamt of with my love. But I now, ironically, understood my father better. One son was not enough – he had lost many before I was born. I needed more but I would not use Hephaestion to get them; I would not put him through that ever again. So I had to find a more natural way of producing children – a woman._

_I found one at Sogdia. She was called Roxanne 'Little Star', the eldest daughter of the Cheiftain Oxyartes, and she was perfect for my needs. Unfortunately my generals disagreed. All they saw was the daughter of a minor chieftain of no political consequence whatsoever – and they were right. I saw the mother of my child to be; a woman of spirit and ambition – like my mother. I thrust that thought to the back of my mind as I argued it out with my Council._

_Hephaestion stood against a wall of the room we were in high up in the citadel, staring out of the window, ignoring the argument carrying on in the room behind him. I looked at that still perfect profile framed by hair grown out longer over the months, bleached by the sun to give blonde streaks in the mass of auburn. He wore a loose Persian robe over his Greek chiton, his hands hidden in the voluminous sleeves until I saw him look down at the wedding ring I had put on his left hand, twisting it about absent mindedly. My heart lurched at the sight of him as I knew he didn't understand why I was marrying Roxanne – to save him. All he saw was yet another betrayal – by me._

"_Enough gentlemen! The marriage will go ahead as planned. She will bring the Bactrian tribes to me and that will settle the region. Isn't that what you all want?"_

"_And what then, my King? Where do we go then?" Everyone turned to look at my Chiliarch who was still playing with the ring even as he said these words._

"_We continue on till I say it's enough."_

"_Whatever the cost? However many lives it takes?"_

"_Do you too turn on me Hephaestion? My loyal Phai, siding with my enemies now?"_

_Finally he turned those beautiful eyes on me, tear filled and shimmering blue like the sea. "Never, my Alexander. I'm yours till death and I ask that of you in love." He moved away from the wall and knelt beside me. "Think on it, my king; you are Great King of Asia, more than your father ever dreamt of – further than Achilles. Your name will go down in history. Isn't that glory enough? Think of your son; if we do not consolidate and ensure that the empire stays intact."_

_I nodded to him and smiled, taking his left hand in mine._

"_And there's always Arabia and Carthage." I mused and almost laughed when he rolled his eyes. "You understand the need for me to take a wife though, have a baby the normal way." Wrong thing to say: the sapphire orbs hardened instantly and he stood up, a sneer on his face as he shook his head and walked out of the room, closely followed by Cleitus and Nearchus._

_Ptolemy looked at me and shook his head – as if I needed telling I had ballsed things up again._

_The next day was the wedding and to my surprise Hephaestion stood as my best man – whatever arguments he would always support me. My bride was radiant, small and smelt so different to what I was used to; a sweet, almost cloying cleanness so different from the male body. Her maids took her to an apartment to prepare her for the wedding night._

_I stayed to talk to Ptolemy, Perdiccas and Leonnatus until Phai walked in quietly and they left us alone. He said nothing, simply removed the ring from his finger and handed it to me._

"_For your Queen." And turned to leave._

"_Hephaestion! I don't love her but I need more children and I will not put you through any more. I'm so sorry for my wish; for the pain, for the loss of our son. Don't hate me for this."_

"_I don't. I understand more than you do. Our love has changed; now we go our separate ways: you to your wife, me to – well, to whomever I find." Then he left._

_I placed the ring in a box beside my bed, knelt down and cried as I had never cried before._

_My wedding night was a blur. I performed my function as a husband and my bride was enthusiastic beyond measure. But I didn't enjoy it; I was too broken hearted to be warmed by her body or her heart and she guessed something was not right. Perhaps the eunuchs had explained about Hephaestion but from that day on she hated him. This was ironic as he never hated her; never even recognised her presence most of the time except to be civil and acknowledge her as Queen, all politeness._

_Exactly as my love was with me._

**Hephaestion POV**

_A wife, he had finally done what Olympias wanted and married; to a woman so like his mother it was unnerving – and I doubt he saw it. I knew she hated me, saw it in her dark eyes every time we passed; even more I saw it when she looked at my son. Alexander said the marriage was purely to save me from anymore pregnancies and I don't doubt that was part of his reason. But I watched him as she danced, recognised the look in those deep eyes – lust. That it may have dissipated quickly was not my concern. Whom he took to his bed was his own private matter, no longer mine._

_Gods, how I lied to myself! It was like a knife in my heart every time he looked at her or the eunuch; I felt sick to my stomach when he left the Council or dinner hall to go to one or the other when once he would have stayed with me. But that was over and I was as much to blame for it as Alexander. He was the King and needed heirs. Babes die so quickly you could never be sure if they would survive. And his father had been much worse than Alexander would ever be. Why I felt so empty was unknown to me except that Senji told me I was suffering from a post-birth melancholia; that the best way to end it was to get a new interest, try something different._

_I took his advice straight after the wedding and tried a relationship with a woman; that lasted a whole week! I had no notion of what to say to her – the sex was fine, that I could manage, but it did not satisfy me for I was used to talking after and she had nothing to say. Perhaps I could have asked Thais to find me one of her ex- colleagues with more skills but that was so – professional; they would not be there for me. I had been spoilt - since 16 I had been making love to someone who loved me for who I was. Now I was Chiliarch and it was my rank and wealth they were interested in. I had lost Alexander to his duty, would I ever find a companion to at least ease the pain if not fill the gap?_

_It was the night of yet another banquet and Bagoas danced for the company. I sat alone and watched as the King gazed glazed eyed at the lithe body gyrating before him in erotic movements that could have aroused a statue, let alone a Macedonian King who was already his lover. After only half the dance I could take no more and left my couch quietly, apologising to Perdiccas with whom I was sharing, and hurriedly left the hall. Tears blinded me as I traversed hallway after hallway with no known destination until I brought up in front of a door I recognised and knocked, unsure if he had still been at the banquet or not. The door was opened by the man I had subconsciously sought and as soon as it closed behind me I found myself engulfed in strong arms holding me against a warm body. He was taller than I and I rested my tear ached head against his chest putting my arms about his waist and sighed. We stood there for what seemed ages, telling the other how we felt without words until I raised my head and looked into his dark brown eyes._

"_Make love to me, Cleitus."_

_He made no argument but kissed me somewhat hesitantly until he realised I was kissing him back with fervour, he needed no more encouragement. If I had expected it to be similar to how Alexander loved me I was in for a shock, a pleasant one. Cleitus was a rough man on the outside but he loved me that night with just the right mixture of tenderness and dominance that had me whimpering for more; my body was new to him as his was to me and we took infinite pleasure in exploring the other. There wasn't the unity I had with Alexander, there never could be – this was the joining of two bodies, not two souls; friends, not lovers – yet. After I slept deeply in his arms and for once had no nightmares._

_The next morning I didn't remember where I was until I realised the scent beside me was not Alexander. Opening my eyes I looked straight into his and smiled as I remembered the previous night, snuggling closer. I heard him sigh with relief at that._

"_Did you think I would recoil from you, Black Cleitus?"_

"_In truth – yes. You've been so lonely these last weeks Hephaestion and now with his marriage – well, I did think you may have only been looking for a certain – release."_

"_I find that with women. I would never use you so."_

_I sat up a little and kissed him lingeringly. "I've always liked you. I can't promise you my love but I will never play you false."_

"_I'm grateful for what you've given me already Hephaestion and will take each day as it comes. Only a fool would not realise you love only Alexander…"_

"_He has my heart but there is enough room in there for you too."_

_He laughed out loud then and stroked my face. "Then with that I will be content, my lovely Hephaestion, whom I have loved for many years."_

"_I know."_

_We made love again more as frolicking youngsters than grown men which made the pleasure only that more intense. I left his room feeling more alive than I had done ever since my last pregnancy. Senji might very well be right, I thought. Our affair was discreet and hardly torrid – we had too much to do in readying the army for its next move._

_However, before then something occurred that changed everything – another plot, this time perpetrated by the pages assigned to the king. More importantly they were all being educated by Callisthenes and he had filled their heads with ideals of Athens and the barbarian hordes of Asia – any king who seemingly preferred these creatures to true Greeks was no Greek but a tyrant or despot. They were young and impressionable and the old man used them with no consideration of what might happen to them._

_What happened was trial and death, leaving a stunned King who had lavished so much love and care on them that their betrayal cut him like a knife. Alexander always loved whole heartedly and took proof that it was not returned in the surprised hurt almost of a child. It was what made him so lovable and kept the men, for the most part, loyal to him – he was their golden boy, their unbeatable king. The Pages, however, had only recently come from Macedon to replace the original boys who had become men and ready for positions in the army – these new boys had not campaigned with Alexander from the beginning and as a consequence did not care or know him well. Callisthenes took advantage of this and I despised him for it, for he hadn't the courage to act for himself._

_Not even at the proskyensis debacle did he say anything against it. I had arranged a quiet, informal dinner, Macedonians only, and had spoken to each of the guests explaining what would occur. The king felt it unequal that the Persians bowed whereas no Macedonian did; however, he also realised (at my prompting) that the latter could not be expected to do the same unless it ended with the Kiss of Kindred – one bow, one kiss and you never did it again – simple. You think? They all agreed to it, Callisthenes included, but I didn't trust him and made a plan with Alexander that when it came to his turn I would distract the king with conversation so that if Callisthenes _didn't_ bow we could ignore it – neither of them would lose face; Callisthenes would make his point and Alexander could dismiss it as never having happened._

_Except all the best laid plans can run amok by the smallest thing. Callisthenes didn't bow but came forward for the kiss as I talked to Alexander; but another officer noticed and cried out so the King had to notice and refuse the kiss. Callisthenes got his moment and his chance to quip 'So I go without a kiss' that he would enjoy retelling to everyone, ad nauseum._

_None of us expected him to initiate a plot though. What was worse they drugged Peritas, the king's favourite dog, so badly that only months later he died, much to Alexander's great sorrow. Strangely enough it was over Peritas' burial that Alexander and I came together once more as true friends, if not as lovers. That night we talked and talked; every feeling, every emotion, every bitter thought, every wrong and concern was told, discussed and finally understood. Nothing was held back. He admitted he had fallen in love with Roxanne but it was mainly to save me a further pregnancy. I confessed my growing attachment to Cleitus and that we were also lovers. Here his eyes flashed but we discussed it and he admitted in the end that I had the right to a life away from him now – and I had begun to look far better than I had done for almost half a year._

_We discussed our next move and he told me he wanted to go into India – just a little way, not very far, just to see it and say he had been there._

"_Oh, Alexander, you're incorrigible!"_

"_Don't you want to see it? Honestly, Phai?"_

"_Well, I'll confess it peeks my curiosity. But not too far in, Alexander – we don't have the men to garrison it permanently."_

"_I don't intend that. I would like to see if Aristotle was right about the Encircling Ocean – then we can build boats and sail all the way to Egypt - wouldn't you?"_

"_Perhaps. One step at a time, though. The Pages were not the only ones who think you might be expecting too much from the army."_

"_Well, we'll see. I'm sure the army will let me know when they've had enough."_

"_Yes, my King, I'm bloody sure of that!"_

**Alexander POV**

_We crossed into India and found so many things that no one had seen before. Small hairy people that turned out to be animals, called monkeys (they had attacked Craterus' men and he hated them, especially when Hephaestion pointed out they were not 'soldiers' at all, but an animal); strange, exotic flowers and herbs that I added to my medicine chest; snakes so venomous one bite would kill outright almost in an instant. And rain – gods how it rained!_

_Hephaestion took part of the army, with Perdiccas, to bridge the Indus and succeeded in a siege of his own – so much for those that said he had no tactical or strategic abilities of note. Our relationship was calmer, almost back to the way it had been. We understood each other better but, and I would never confess it to him, I missed him physically – it was a constant, dull ache inside me whenever I saw him, especially when he was close to Cleitus. They never publicised their affair and were always careful around me. Cleitus had given my Phai some degree of ease and stability, even happiness, which he could not find with a King. I understood it but hated it and knew that was why I sent Perdiccas with him to the Indus instead of Cleitus – petty, spiteful but it made me feel a whole lot better._

_The reasons for our rupture were still with me – Bagoas was proving himself more than a dancer or body servant but also an exceptional diplomat, even in India. Roxanne, on the other hand, though devoted to me, made it absolutely clear she hated India, hated my friends and hated Hephaestion above all else. She also hated Achillaeus, even more so when she miscarried of our child as we travelled into India. Ironically Hephaestion was more sympathetic of her plight than I was but I saw that this loss of her own child only made her hatred of my son with her greatest rival even stronger._

_And India produced the best opponent I ever came across in the shape of King Porus – our battle near the River Hydaspes showed my army at its best – its courage, its discipline, its trust in me and my chosen commanders especially as we fought elephants – creatures that struck terror in both man and horse but which they overcame to conquer. At the conclusion Porus surrendered and offered fealty to me - I couldn't have asked for a more perfect ending; it was what I had hoped for when I met Darius but I had to travel 10,000 miles to finally meet the man worthy of such glory._

_Then everything seemed to go wrong. I thought the men were tired but still eager to see the Encircling Ocean; I ignored the swelling undercurrent of dissatisfaction despite Hephaestion's advice to the contrary. I almost lost him too, in such a stupid manner that I still shudder at it._

_I was not blind to Craterus' ambition. I knew he wanted command of the Companions after the deaths of Philotas and Parmenion; I knew he was livid that I gave it to Hephaestion and Cleitus. But, as I explained to him somewhat tersely, he was no cavalry commander but an infantry one and that was where I needed him._

_Ever since my wedding with Roxanne, the Staff was aware of my deteriorating relationship with Phai, though I made it absolutely clear to them he was still my second-in command whether we shared a bed or not – in fact it showed them finally that had never been the reason for his promotions. Craterus, from then on, set out on a none too subtle campaign of attrition against the Chiliarch; small things he said, twisted by Craterus, to mean something else. His love with Cleitus branded as a possible coup de etat to place his son on my throne. Hephaestion's polite dismissal of the woman who was my queen and his ability to work with 'barbarians' were all made out by Craterus to be sinister. He even had the gall to suggest that Phai deliberately set up Callisthenes over the proskynesis experiment. All of this I listened to, though perhaps I should not have, and treated it with silent contempt – my Phai was loyal and would never do anything to hurt me. However, my silence acted as encouragement to Craterus and it all culminated in a public brawl that got totally out of hand._

_I had been out with the scouts and Cleitus, checking over the next route and returned to a camp seething with tension and about to erupt in a blood bath. At the centre of it all were Hephaestion and Craterus, swords drawn against each other, their men about to do the same._

_I rode my horse into their midst at a gallop forcing him up onto his hind legs in a show of pure animal terror – Bucephalus was still good at that – before leaping off and pushing between my two warring generals who had not lowered their weapons._

"_Sheath gentlemen, now! What in Hades do you think you're doing? I expect better than this from my senior staff; I expected better from __you__ Hephaestion!"_

"_Alexander, he was accusing me…"_

"_Enough! Whatever the provocation I don't expect you to act so foolishly, especially in front of the men!"_

_He jerked his head round to me and looked at me with shock registering in those blue depths whilst Craterus tried hard to stop a smug smile appearing on his face. Calling him a fool was nearly the last straw for our fragile love and I realised my words had cut him to the quick._

"_I didn't make you Chiliarch to act this way. Not to risk all that I have. Put yourself in my place, Hephaestion – see what I see before me and know you would be nothing without me as I would be nothing without you if you die." As I said these last words I had stepped as close to him as I could and placed one hand on his cheek whilst the other pushed back mussed hair – a clear, physical sign of my love for him, for Hephaestion and the rest of the army to see._

"_How long do you think I could live without you, Phai?" I asked quietly._

"_As long as I without you, Alexander."_

_I nodded and we stood looking into each other's souls till the silence about us was palpable. Turning my head I looked Craterus up and down with growing fury._

"_You may return to your tent – I will speak with you in a moment."_

_It was as close to a slap in the face as I could give him in public and he knew it._

"_The rest of you men – get back to your duties, now!"_

_Taking Hephaestion by the arm I walked him to his tent as Cleitus watched us go, worry clearly etched on his features. Inside I sat down opposite my Chiliarch and asked him what had caused such uncharacteristic behaviour._

"_Damon has died, snake bite." He told me. "I was upset and Craterus started in on me, suggesting I was working against you by making you carry on here in India when the men didn't want to go on."_

"_Hephaestion that's nonsense! I would never believe anything he said. I trust you completely: always have and always will. Nothing anyone could say to me will __ever__ change that."_

"_I'm sorry for what I did, Alexander. It jeopardised the command."_

"_Well, I'm sure you won't let it happen again." I kissed him swiftly on the lips and left, heading for Craterus' tent; passing Cleitus I indicated he should go to Hephaestion which he did immediately. Swallowing the pain that caused, that my Phai would be comforted by another, I pushed into Craterus' tent and gave him a solid peace of my mind. _

"_I know you, Craterus. I know your ambition. You worked hard against Philotas and there you were right – he was traitorous. But you play against the wrong man in making such accusations against Hephaestion. You see I know him as I know myself. Understand that Craterus – Hephaestion __is__ Alexander and Alexander __is__ Hephaestion. Nothing you can do or say will ever change that. If you can't work with him I'll keep you apart – but stop this arguing!"_

_I had one last thing to do to end this foolish rivalry. Calling the army together, with both protagonists on either side of me, I made it quite clear I would not tolerate such behaviour amongst any officers or my men, from anyone._

"_If either of you start an argument like this again, whichever one of you it is, I will have that man put to death! This is an army, gentlemen: I __will__ have discipline whatever the cost to me personally."_

_Both nodded, saluted and I dismissed the army, angry, furious and still seeing in my minds eye Craterus' sword plunging deep into my lover's body._

_A week later Bucephalus died of old age. The whole army came to pay their last respects and I stood with Hephaestion, hands clasped, as we said goodbye to the second dearest thing in my life beside my son. He had borne me through all my battles, taking wounds, but never to his pride and had died peacefully – I could only pray for the same._

_It was, then, with profound shock only a few weeks later that I found myself in the midst of a mutiny. Well, not really a mutiny – they weren't trying to kill or replace me; they were doing what I said they would do to Hephaestion letting me know they had gone far enough._

_I cajoled, they ranted; I sulked, they sulked back; I gave in, they relented and cheered me though inside I was rocked to the core at their lack of understanding of what I wanted to achieve for them and for the world._

"_They want to go home, Alexander," Ptolemy said stating the obvious as usual. "to see their families and spend their wealth before they get too old."_

_What did my Hephaestion say?_

"_I told you they'd let you bloody well know when you'd gone too far, didn't I?" Then he grinned and pointed to Achillaeus who was trying on my helmet and though it fell over his eyes still walking about the tent giving a short version of my speech to the men asking them to carry on – until he collided with a tent pole and fell over. We didn't laugh until he picked himself up saying a heartfelt 'Zeus' balls!' at which we howled so much the guards thought we were murdering each other._

"_He's been spending too much time with Cleitus." I finally said through tears of mirth._

"_It's not Cleitus alone – there are 60,000 men out there who all swear like – troopers. Ouch! Achillaeus take the bloody helmet off __before__ you jump on me!"_

"_Sorry, mother."_

_Phai growled at that – we never had come up with another title that Achillaeus could use as effectively; I smiled more at that than anything for a long time. Those few hours that day were so comforting to me and made it clear to me what I had lost._

_As the army turned about to leave India, not the way we came, but south to the Persian Gulf where Nearchus would take a fleet back to Babylon whilst we supplied them from villages along the way, I made up my mind that I would succeed in one thing if it killed me – I would get Hephaestion back._


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Well, we're on the home run now - only three more chapters after this one. Warning: a bit of 'group' in this section but the angst ends!**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this, really makes my day!**

**Chapter Eleven**

**PART THREE**

**Hephaestion POV**

_If anyone expected a quick turn round and back the way we came, they were in for a shock._

"_Let me leave India, not bolt from it!"_

_The first part was easy enough, sailing down a river – but the King wanted to subdue the various tribes along the way and give a lot of their land to Porus and our other Indian 'allies'; to be blunt they were using us to fight their wars and I as much as anyone wanted to leave them to their own devices. But strategically we couldn't leave hostiles in our rear so the army was split into three: Ptolemy and Perdiccas to the rear, five days behind Alexander with his section travelling on the river, Cleitus and myself five days ahead – a glorified boar hunt, spread out to catch our prey. And Craterus? Well, he was sent on with the non-combatants in a safe route to the rendezvous at Pattala. We had been icily polite to each other since the brawl, neither one of us ready to be the first to start anything – when Alexander made a promise like that in public he was not to be trifled with and would keep his word even if it meant executing me._

_The campaign for my part was made up of short, sharp bursts of fighting, interspersed with deathly boredom, watching and waiting. I took the time it offered to collect plant and insect specimens to send in my letters to Aristotle, much to Cleitus' disgust one evening as I was skinning a dead snake to send back._

"_That's disgusting, Phai! What will he do with that if not make a belt?"_

"_You're a Macedonian barbarian, Cleitus."_

"_And you're an Athenian puppy, princess, but with such nice attributes I can forgive you."  
_

"_Here – have a keepsake." And I threw the flayed carcass into his lap, making him jump up and hit his head on the tent pole. He threw the offending article outside and watched dispassionately as two camp dogs tore it apart._

_We reached Pattala as planned and were rejoined with Craterus and the non-combatants. My first job was to check the camp was to my satisfaction, which it was; second job was to check on Achillaeus with Acte. He seemed to have grown at least two hand spans since I saw him last, barely four weeks previously and was talking non-stop, demanding to know where his father was and telling me all that he had seen. The next few days as I organised the supplies for the second half of our journey through the Gedrosian he sat with me and I showed him what I was doing; I was warmed to the heart that he showed as much interest in that as he did in learning to fight with Cleitus._

"_Where have you put the food stuff?" he asked._

"_Here and here. Why do you think I've done that?"_

"_Because it's the same length away – you can work out how much food you need for how long it will take you to get there."_

"_Well done! Who's been coaching you to say that?"_

"_Acte!"_

"_Thought so. But you're right, Achillaeus; an army fights but it also needs to eat. Starving men do not fight at their best."_

"_So always feed them…"_

"_And ensure they have the proper equipment and replacements. If your sword breaks you need to know you can get another one quick."_

"_It's like when I pack my toys up the same way – so I know exactly where they are, what I've got and how to get to what I want."_

"_Nice summing up of logistics – Acte again?"_

"_No! Mother!"_

_That ended in a tickling fight which he lost._

_Alexander was due to meet up with us the next day but did not arrive – we had left a three day window in case. But when those days were gone and it was Ptolemy instead who arrived, the whole camp went quiet and the whispering started. I knew he could have been delayed by anything – bad weather, more hostile tribes – but he hadn't sent a request for reinforcements as he would if he had met hard resistance._

_I was sitting eating a meal with Ptolemy, Cleitus and Craterus – the rest of the staff with me too; my mind was only half on their subdued banter, the other on Alexander. A shadow had been growing on my heart all that day and it was getting darker by the hour. Leaving early I checked on the sentries again and retired to bed, Cleitus joining me some time later. We didn't make love; he was attuned to my needs so perfectly that he understood I merely wanted the comfort of his physical presence and I finally slept wrapped secure in his arms._

_The dream was insistent; I was sitting on the bank of a river, dark water, fast flowing, waiting for something. I was in armour, cleaning my sword with a monotonous regular motion until a boat came into view. In it was a god like young man, beautiful as the sun, grey eyes clear as crystal – Alexander. He stepped out of the boat and smiling, walked to me holding out his arms._

"_My Phai." He said laughing as I stood up to meet him._

"_My King." I replied and thrust the cleaned sword deep into his side._

_And woke up screaming…_

"_Apollo's balls, Phai, what's wrong?"_

_I was sitting up in bed, covered in sweat, breathing hard, knowing exactly what the dream meant._

"_It's Alexander – he's…" I sprang out of bed, grabbing a robe and hastily putting it on._

"_Where are you going, Phai?"_

"_I – don't – know." I pushed back the partition between my sleeping quarters to my office exactly at the same time as the guard entered to tell me a courier had arrived with urgent news. One look at the man's ashen face and I knew the worst had come true._

_Alexander had been mortally wounded in a fight against a minor hill fort of the Malli tribe. Their village had been surrounded by a wall, not very high; the King had raced up a scaling ladder followed by Peucastis and two other officers until he stood on the top of the wall – totally alone except for them. No man of the army had set foot on a ladder._

_What did he do? What my Alexander would do; he jumped down, inside the fort hastily followed by the other three officers to the shock of the army. Then the scramble started to get to the king – ladders broke and men were crushed but finally they got up and over the wall and jumped down to find one of the officers dead, the other fighting off a horde of natives whilst Peucastis was holding the Shield of Achilles over the lifeless, unmoving body of Alexander. Pushing back the Mallians, the men assisted Peucastis to lift the King onto the shield and heave him back over the wall. All the men believed him dead then. Turning their shame and guilt outwards they butchered every living thing in the fort, not respecting age or sex or species, then set fire to it._

"_Is he dead, man?" Ptolemy asked his voice loud in the silence of the tent after the man stopped to catch his breath._

"_Not when I left, General, but the wound is bad. He took an arrow in the side."_

_I gasped, my dream coming back to me but nodded to the man to continue._

"…_air was escaping the wound, bubbling with blood. The Egyptian sewed him up from the inside to the out but the king hasn't woken yet. Nearchus sent me on to inform you and give you this – Sire." And he handed a scroll to me._

"_Why do you say that to me? The King is not dead – I'm not the King."_

"_Please…Chiliarch, it was his wish. He wrote it out before becoming unconscious."_

_I passed the scroll over to Ptolemy who read it to us all._

"'_I appoint Hephaestion as my successor. The army needs an adult and he will reign until our son is old enough to take over. I command your obedience to him, the man I love above all, the only one I regret leaving. By my seal – Alexander, son of Philippos, King of Macedon, Great King of Asia and India.'"_

_Ptolemy's voice broke then and I looked about at these men, veterans of wars for nine constant years, tears in their eyes, falling finally to the carpeted floor in prayer and obeisance to me. To say I was numb would be a simplification; my life was over except as caretaker for my son until he came of age – after that my job would be done and I would be released. It was then that I had a burning sense of a life, a spirit calling out to me in love but also pain – I recognised that all enveloping presence, my Alexander; he wasn't dead, of that I was sure now. He had reached out to me and I answered, calling silently 'Live my love, I'm waiting for you, as ever. Come back to me.'_

"_Get up, gentlemen, the King is not dead, of that I am sure."_

_Cleitus, who had been the only one not to fall to his knees, looked at me and I smiled at him; he nodded, accepting my word. How much he knew me this man, favourite of one king, outspoken yet loyal critic of another. He knew, as I saw in his eyes, that Alexander had won me back (if he had ever entirely lost me) heart, soul and body: I took his hands in mine. "Do not fear, Cleitus, I love you as much as ever."_

_He tried to smile and only managed a faint shadow of one; his decorum and dignity held my heart and I honoured him more than ever. Here was a man, as I knew, I could trust with my life and, more importantly, with that of my son. I had been doubly blessed in my life to find two such men who would love me._

_Seven days later a boat sailed up to the camp watched by the army lining both banks. I heard the wailing first – they saw a corpse on the deck, motionless, bringing their King home to be buried. As I stood at the entrance of my tent unable to move in the shock that I could have been so wrong, the wails turned to cheers, then a deluge of yells and cries of joy. The 'corpse' had lifted an arm to wave. As the boat moored the King sat up and walked off the boat, then helped onto a horse, he rode slowly through the men who were touching his horse, his sandals, his clothing, anything to ensure themselves he was alive._

_For his part, Alexander waved and smiled, breathing in the love and devotion flowing into him from all the men it was better than any medicine a doctor could have prescribed. Finally he saw me and stopped the horse. Slowly dismounting, never taking his eyes off me, he walked carefully but steadily through the still cheering, weeping men until he stood beside me._

_I took him in my arms not caring what they would say and held him close._

"_How are you?" I whisper._

"_About to drop. Get me inside Phai."_

_With an arm about him as would any caring friend I helped him towards the tent entrance where he stopped, turned and waved to the men who let out, if possible, an even louder roar of welcome, before we were finally alone and he collapsed in my arms in a dead faint._

**Alexander POV**

_Hephaestion was once more mine – in heart, soul and body again. I will never, never do anything to risk losing him again. And I did nearly die in getting him back._

_The wound from Malli took longer to heal than usual but it gave me time to mend fences with Phai and before we parted from Craterus and the bulk of the army, including Cleitus, I threw a banquet of hope and thanks – hope for Nearchus' safe journey and thanks for my survival. As with all Macedonian feasts it got out of hand but in a way I would never have expected._

_Wine had flowed copiously and part way through the evening Hephaestion disappeared; moments after his page delivered me a message asking me to go to his rooms. I did immediately and was surprised to meet Cleitus at the door. Before we could say anything to each other Phai opened the door and dragged both of us in, a beautiful smile on his face, his hair loose and flowing, eyes bright and lined with kohl to make them look even larger. As Cleitus and I stood there perplexed he laughed and took a hand of each of us pulling us towards the huge bed._

"_Both my men tonight."_

"_Phai!" we both choked out._

"_Oh, please – just this night I want both of you, together. We're going to be parted for months and, Cleitus, knows this will be the last time we make love. I want you two to share something together, completely. Join you as one, so to speak, in me."_

_I was so stunned at the enormity of what my usually quiet, circumspect Phai was suggesting but by then he had allowed his robe to slide off his body and any other thought I had was lost at the sight of such beauty._

_We did as he asked and it was the most exhilarating night of my life. How we didn't tear him apart I don't know but with me on my back, Phai straddling me and Cleitus behind him we rode him together and his cries showed his pleasure time and again. I then watched as Cleitus took him alone, then he as I did. We slept long into the following morning._

_I woke first, then Cleitus did. Getting up we moved away leaving Hephaestion smiling in his sleep._

"_Cleitus – no word of this…"_

"_What do you take me for, Alexander? You heard him – it was his gift to us. I know he's yours wholly now but I will never stop loving him."_

"_Yes, he has that affect on people."_

"_Not Craterus."_

"_Well, no, not everyone has good taste."_

"_One thing – you hurt him again and king or no, I'll give you such a bloody beating you'll wish your mother had never born you."_

_At that I smiled. "Good. Remind me of that whenever I'm about to risk him again. He was right about you."_

"_How so?"_

"_You are a true friend. Keep an eye on Achillaeus for us. Watch Roxanne."_

"_As if he were my own, my friend."_

_We hugged and he left quietly, our relationship secure as Phai had wanted. We wouldn't always agree but I could trust his loyalty. I returned to sit by Hephaestion until he woke up, stretching languidly as a cat would, almost purring as he wished me joy and wondered where Cleitus was._

"_He's gone but we understand each other now as you wished. I asked him to watch over Achillaeus."_

"_He would have anyway. He loves all three of us whatever comes out of his mouth sometimes. I'm very glad I stopped you running him through that night."_

"_About last night, Phai…"_

"_Ssh. Recall it as a dream – a very pleasant one. And if you're in no rush, my lover, I would like a recollection of it now."_

_He was too lovely to refuse, not that I would have done anyway. I adored it when my warrior became sensual and insatiable…oh, no; that could mean he was in his cycle once more._

_He was. Three weeks or so into our desert march he began throwing up in the morning but it stopped after only a week so I hoped, as did he, that we were mis-reading the signs. I had enough worries on my hands without a pregnant Hephaestion to worry about. The idea of marching through the Gedrosian proved to be disastrous – the villages were few and far between with barely enough supplies for us let alone leaving any for Nearchus. We couldn't turn back so, leading them on foot, we gritted our teeth and bore it. I lost count of the men, women and children we lost on that dreadful journey; it was my greatest mistake and I vowed if we lived through it I would reward all who had came with me in a shower of gold._

_By the time we reached Carmenia we had been welded in fire into a force as hard as steel. And Hephaestion was pregnant again. I called in Senji as soon as we got there and he examined him, looking confused which did nothing to ease my concern. Phai, on the other hand, was as happy as I'd ever seen him. Despite four months in a desert, thin as he was, he looked blooming with health. When Senji returned he had Hathor with him – that truly worried me._

"_Alexander calm down, I'm fine. Joy to you, Hathor. I'm up the duff again!"_

"_So I've been told. You look much healthier than the last time. Now, let's have a good look at you."_

_She examined Hephaestion carefully as I sat and watched, getting closer and closer until I was practically atop of them._

"_Would you like to get on the bed as well, Great King, so I can examine you too?"_

_I backed off as Phai indulged in a fit of giggles. What was going on here?  
_

"_He's having twins is what is going on, Alexander. But his unusual cheerfulness is due to – excess chemicals in his system. You see when I arranged his ability to bear children they were supposed to be only yours. Yet one of these twins has been fathered by someone else. Now unless seed from two men entered him at exactly the same time which…oh, dear, I see."_

"_I don't!" Senji asked._

"_The cycle is set that at a certain time when the King's seed enters an egg is automatically produced. If they did what I think they're saying they did then it would produce two eggs, one for each stream of seed. Congratulations, sire, you have another son on the way; the other man will be the father of a girl. I shall stay in close call on this one."_

_With a last withering look at us she disappeared, Senji hurrying out in a more normal way, leaving us alone to absorb this news._

"_I wasn't expecting that, was you?"_

"_No, Phai. I best tell Cleitus before Senji blurts out too much."_

"_We'll tell him, together. A little girl will be nice, don't you think?"_

_I was completely stunned by the news and not at all happy that another man's child was growing in my Hephaestion. How in Zeus' name were we to explain this? I left him for a while to pay a courtesy visit to my wife whom I had not seen since our return from the desert._

_Roxanne was beautiful, loving and pregnant. Her joy was overwhelming and I stayed longer than I had intended as she was loath to stop talking about her baby due in the early spring._

_With all my consorts expecting I decided to move to a better location and would head directly for Susa – as soon as Nearchus turned up. On top of all of that I then heard that Harpolas had absconded with seven hundred talents of my treasury to Athens! I wouldn't miss the money but I was deeply hurt by an old friend's betrayal, especially as I had grown up with him and forgiven his previous nefarious dealings. It taught me that perhaps I was too lenient for my own good and as we moved to Susa I ensured that swift retribution was handed out to any satraps or garrison commanders who had failed to fulfil their role as laid down by me or where I received complaints about their greed and injustice._

_There were executions and I expected the Staff to look askance but they actually agreed with me – for once. Hephaestion said it was necessary to be brutal at times when it was the only way left to get your point across. He also said it showed that I was truly Great King and there to stay, not just a conqueror who would steal and leave. I meant to make a lasting empire and would show them that if it was the last thing I ever did._


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note: So many kind people have reviewed this little opus and I want to thank you all as it has lifted my spirits no end!**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Hephaestion POV**

_Twins. A boy and a girl; one Alexander's, the other Cleitus'. Strangely enough I was pleased about this. Cleitus' accepted our affair was over once Alexander and I had been finally reconciled and now I could present him with a child as physical proof of the love I still, and always would, bear for him. I know my King was not so overjoyed but then Roxanne was also with child so he would have two babies to Cleitus' one._

"_And how do we explain it?" my King asked._

"_We don't. We ask Hathor to…"_

"_And everyone is to know Cleitus was your lover."_

"_I think most already know that. Eunuchs are great at spreading the latest news and they're everywhere here."_

"_It wasn't Bagoas – was it?"_

"_I never said it was him. But he is discreet in the main so I doubt it was him. Besides, if it's a choice between me and Roxanne, I'm hands down his ally."_

_We told Cleitus the good news and I can honestly say I had never seen the Black struck dumb before._

"_My baby?"_

"_Yes, a girl. I'm carrying your daughter."_

"_But – didn't you say only Alexander…"_

"_Normally. But our little farewell evening altered that somewhat."_

"_Ah, yes, I remember that so well."_

_Silence fell then till he looked up and grinned at me "Thank you, Hephaestion – that truly is a gift. Of course, we'll say she's Alexander's."_

"_What?" The King sounded stunned._

"_Well, it's the best course, your Majesty. Do you really want to explain that night to everyone? They're barely able to accept a man getting pregnant as it is without throwing that in as well. No, I'll be content with just knowing she's mine. The rest don't need to know."_

_I could see Alexander arguing with himself whether to accept this generous offer; it went against his innate honesty but Cleitus convinced him it was for the best and I saw him accept it eventually with relief – at least this way he wouldn't be shown as a cuckold; though he wasn't as we were estranged when I began my love affair with the Black._

_The pregnancy went on well with so little difficulty, unlike the last one, that except for my expanding waistline I wouldn't have known I was carrying twins. Perhaps it was so different from when I had poor, dear, Alexandros, because now I was fully reconciled with my love and happier than I had been for, oh, since he had become king in fact. He spent most of the time with me now and it was as if we had slipped back to Mieza – discussing plans for empire and his hoped for campaign against Arabia. If anyone now expected to go home they were in for a shock._

_However, we had come up with an idea to counter act this, namely training youths from our disparate empire to be the next generation of soldiers, bureaucrats and courtiers. We knew we couldn't keep taking able bodied men from Macedon so this was the logical answer. Another plan he had was to integrate Macedonian and Persians more closely still by marriage – 200 couples to be exact in a huge ceremony in Susa. All he had to do was find the grooms, voluntary or not._

"_I had planned on you and me marrying Darius' daughters." He explained when he first told me of this proposal. "Then we would be brothers and the children could be married to produce a child of our blood. Except that's not necessary anymore." He patted my stomach gently until I snarled at him. I wasn't a horse and most definitely no brood mare._

"_So who are you going to marry them to?"_

"_Now? What do you think of Cleitus and Perdiccas?"_

"_Good. As long as it's not Craterus…"_

"_He's getting one but not a Royal Princess."_

"_I doubt Thais will be overjoyed at you 'marrying' off Ptolemy."_

"_Well that's between them but he's getting one to."_

_I grinned at him; he could be quite childlike in his absolutism. I found it endearing so long as it wasn't aimed at me._

"_Do I get one then?"_

"_No – neither of us do. I'm not going through all that again with you. Besides, sulking ruins your looks."_

"_Does not."_

_He laughed at that then turned serious "Do you want a wife Phai?"_

_I had thought about it of course. Until Hathor's little 'gift' I had wanted a family of my own and realised the only way to get one was to marry. But since Egypt I had a family without the wife. To add one now would merely – complicate matters so when I shook my head in answer it was the truth._

"_No – I've seen your wife and mother, thanks."_

_Roxanne had been livid when she found out I too was pregnant so much so that she sought me out to give me a tirade in her uncouth, native Bactrian. I did not understand the words but I definitely got the meaning loud and clear. I was a 'freak', an 'abomination' and death was too good for me and my 'demon children'. Bagoas translated it all to Alexander and I understand their meeting was hardly loving. Due to her condition he didn't beat her but let her know she had overstepped the mark in confronting me. She finally understood her position and it was not an enviable one. I understood her hatred of me; if our situations had been reversed I would have felt the same._

_As it was she was brought to bed within a week of our arrival at Susa with a baby girl. Alexander was delighted – and relieved. If she had born a son there would have been grounds for a rival to Achillaeus. A daughter was no such threat, only a joy. The mother didn't see it that way especially as Alexander made it forcefully clear she would be having no more by him. She would remain Queen with all the riches that entailed but nothing more. If she was sensible she could make her life very comfortable and, if discreet, Alexander would not worry about her taking a lover. It remained to be seen if she chose that path or a more dangerous one. The baby was called Helena – my mother's name, though we didn't see fit to advise Roxanne of that, telling her it was from the Iliad._

_We were at a banquet to celebrate her birth when Alexander broached the idea of the wedding to the Staff and generals. His speech was met with total silence. Finally Cleitus cleared his throat and, before speaking, deliberately looked at how close the guards were to the King; Alexander saw exactly what he was doing and dismissed the guards to the outer room, out of reach. This brought a laugh from the guests which cleared the tension in the room._

"_Your majesty, thank you but for my part I decline." Cleitus said. "I've no wish for a wife and certainly not a bloody barbarian one."_

"_Even if she's a princess, general?" I asked smiling._

"_There's only one princess for me, an Athenian one, not Persian."_

_Alexander's growl was clear to me as was his growing anger that the Staff were not jumping at his chance to integrate the two peoples._

"_It will weld the empire together, gentlemen. This is not to be a single generation thing. The lands, the wealth I gave you, you will be able to pass onto your sons in, I hope, a stable empire. Will you be satisfied to go home to your small farms or estates when I offer you a whole world?"_

_I could tell the answer to that from many was 'yes'. I longed for Macedon's plains and mountains; her rivers and lakes, away from excessive heat as there was in Asia. Not to mention rain. Once away from India I began to miss it more than anything – strange._

_There was a heated discussion then until it became clear to all that he was not going to budge on this at all. How it would have ended that night we never found out as my contractions suddenly started even as Alexander was arguing a point with Ptolemy._

"_Of course it would be legal! How not?"_

"_But Alexander, by our law…"_

"_Alexander…"_

"_Ptolemy you're not talking sense!"_

"_Xander…"_

"_Legitimacy is sense – we need to know…"_

"_ALEXANDER!"_

"_Phai whatever is it – oh, no. Hero – get Senji. It's alright. Let's get you to our rooms."_

_He chatted non stop as he helped me off the couch and called for Cleitus to assist. Between them I got back to my room and lay on the bed in relief – at first. Then the pain got worse but before I could start to worry Hathor arrived. She looked at Cleitus with a query until I nodded to her._

"_Ah – the second father." Then she got to work, giving me a potion to drink. It was sweet smelling and tasted like apricots. Whatever it was it removed the pain and left me fairly quietly euphoric, something neither of my 'fathers' were. Cleitus looked fascinated and appalled at the same time whilst Alexander was remembering the last time we had gone through this. Alexandros' small face came to my mind and I felt the first smart behind my eyes but the vision smiled at me and then I heard the first cry._

"_As I said, a boy, Great King, and very healthy. Let's get you out now little princess."_

_A second cry came soon after and I heard Cleitus gasp as the small bundle, cleaned up a little was handed to him. I wish the potion would wear off as I wanted to see their reactions but I also had something to ask Hathor. As my lovers clucked over their respective offspring she sewed me up then laid her cool hands on my abdomen; a slow warmth spread from her hands up my body and into my head, clearing it._

"_Hathor." I whispered and she came closer to me, her lovely face smiling down at me. "May I ask a favour?"_

"_The gift has been taken back, Hephaestion. You will bear no more children."_

"_I've got four which is enough, I agree."_

"_You still remember the little one?"_

"_Every day…"_

"_Then I made no mistake in my judgement of you."_

_The tears fell then as Alexander brought over my new son to hold. He wasn't as small as Alexandros had been and already sported a thick thatch of hair, darker than the tawny mane of Achillaeus._

"_We should call him Philippos." I said without hesitation._

"_Philippos Amyntor – yes, that will be a good name."_

"_Not Alexander, your majesty?"_

"_That name already belongs to one of my sons, Cleitus. Come and show Hephaestion his daughter."_

_She looked just like a baby wizened but delicate and fast asleep._

"_What will we call her?" I asked the father._

"_Phila." 'Friend'_

"_Phila and Philippos – I like that." Hathor said with a smile. "Joy to you all. If you have need of me, just call." And then she was gone._

_Alexander was so overjoyed at the health of both his children and myself that his happiness became infectious and the Generals came around to the idea of marrying Persians – they could still have Macedonian wives after all. I spoke to Cleitus and even he agreed in the end._

"_I've no need of a wife, Hephaestion. You know where my heart lies."_

"_Yes, and I treasure it as I do our daughter. I would ask you to go through with the marriage to Stateira, for me and for Achillaeus."_

"_Why?"_

"_She is Darius' eldest daughter. Left unmarried she is a target for any rival to the throne. We can't wait for my son to grow up and marry her so I want the next best thing – you. If anything should happen to either myself or the King you will be Regent and married to Stateira will have the support of the Persians."_

_I had spent hours thinking this out and Cleitus was not slow to see my point, so he agreed. As did Ptolemy but on the proviso he married Thais too. Craterus got a grand-daughter of Darius and was content his wife was next in rank to Cleitus: he wasn't as happy about Perdiccas marrying Drypetis though. Oh, well, you can't have everything, can you?_

**Alexander POV**

"_The men are restless and concerned, Xander. It's time to rethink the situation."_

_Phai was discussing the army's morale with me on the evening of Achillaeus' sixth birthday celebration. The birthday boy was watching his baby brother intently seemingly astonished at every gurgle or kick, constantly placing a finger into the small fist of his brother and smiling as it was grasped tightly. He had shown no jealousy at the new arrivals, simply awe._

"_Is he mine to play with?" he had asked._

"_He's yours as a future companion and brother, not a toy." His 'mother' lectured before grinning and hugging both of them._

_I always noted that with Phai – no simplification but straight facts whether the person he was talking to was six or sixty. Achillaeus understood however and I was overjoyed to see his growing attachment to both Philippos and Phila. Cleitus was true to his word and no one knew she was not my daughter. Helena was also in the nursery or with us on a permanent basis as Roxanne had rejected her outright. I was becoming seriously concerned in that quarter now – she was being too quiet and even sending presents to the children, except her own, and even Hephaestion received a gift on his birthday of a silver serving dish._

"_Perhaps she wants me to serve up my own head on it." Was his only comment. The gifts for the children were examined most carefully before being passed on to them._

"_Alexander, where are you?"_

"_Sorry, I was thinking about Roxanne…"_

"_She'll have to wait. Look, the men need to go home and see their families…"_

"_They have families here."_

"_Not ones, to be blunt, they recognise as such. Oh, I know some do but the bulk will always see Macedon as home. So tell them they can go before they tell you they're going."_

"_Mutiny?"_

"_A lot worse than the 'last' time, my love. Show them you care about their opinions; they're frightened they've lost you to all that Great King entails: that you're no longer their golden boy king who marched, bled and froze with them. Do this voluntarily and I promise you, when they've spent long enough at home to get bored or spend all their money, they'll be back."_

_I pondered his words. He spoke sense and I could in all likelihood get them back before we moved on Arabia in a few years. First I had to get to Babylon and consolidate the centre. Yes, it would work, and give me a perfect opportunity of removing one last bugbear – Craterus. _

_Though they had never fought again I was fully aware that my cousin still disliked Phai and the feeling was returned. As mother was still constantly complaining about Antipater perhaps the old man would enjoy a break. She'd get less argument with Craterus who always knew how to side with whomever was in power – Philip, myself or mother. I'd also send Polyperchon along – just to keep an eye on both of them._

_So it was that before the afternoon games commenced in honour of Achillaeus in front of the assembled army I made my announcement. I had been in discussions with Eumenes, Cleitus as well as Phai and they agreed with my decision._

"_Men of Macedon, we are here to celebrate my son's sixth birthday with games and festivals which I hope you will all enjoy._

"_In having my family with me – my beloved Consort Hephaestion, my son Achillaeus and his three new siblings, I have realised that for many of you such joy has been missing for a long time._

"_It has to be ten years and over 10,000 miles since we left home, left Macedon. It's time for you to get to see your families…"_

_There was stunned silence then a ground swell as the roar of approval built into cries of 'Alexander!' and 'Our King!'_

"_Yes – you veterans shall return home with pensions and the gratitude of your king. And, I dare to hope, that in a few years, some of you may wish to rejoin me…"_

_I couldn't say anymore, emotion choked me. Cleitus once told me, the night I nearly ran him through, that this army was my blood and he was right. In letting them go I was losing a part of myself. Their obvious delight in my words cut to the quick and I felt Hephaestion's hand on my arm as he knew what I felt._

"_We love you Alexander!" "Alexander! Alexander!" the chant went on and on and I turned to Phai and saw my tears mirrored in his own eyes._

"_They love you, my king. They'll go home but they'll be back."_

_He was right. The next few days as plans were drawn up for the veterans to go home I was astonished at the number who refused to go._

"_What they disliked, your majesty, was the idea you wouldn't __let__ them go; now you've given them the opportunity they've started thinking about it seriously." Cleitus explained._

"_And realised they didn't want to go back?"_

"_In some cases there's nothing to go back to, sire. They've been away a long time and many are also scared at what they might find there. I also believe that those still young enough will be back here soon enough – they'll spend all their money in the first half year and be back for more. And to be truthful – they're loath, when it comes down to it now, to leave their King."_

_That became clear as the days progressed and it filled my heart with joy. Their morale was so high I thought they'd all burst from it – it wouldn't last of course, especially when the rest had marched off. But Hephaestion suggested a change in the army organisation allowing sections to go home at regular two year intervals. This way Macedon would not be depleted of its manpower, then babies will be born 'not all of the men are on first name terms with Hathor' and they would have something to look forward to during the hard campaigning that would be coming up. As always Hephaestion's was right and he and Cleitus were proving to be my best counsellors._

_Craterus left in the summer with the veterans to head for Macedon. Cleitus was made Commander of the Companion Cavalry as I needed Hephaestion to concentrate fully on his role as Chiliarch – there were only so many hours in the day and, to be blunt, I needed him to take on the running of the Empire leaving me to do the fighting._

"_First Arabia, then Carthage and Italy; maybe then go north…"_

"_Alexander – can we just get to Ecbatana first?"_

"_No imagination. I don't know why I love you so much."_

"_Who else would you trust to tell you when you're making an ass of yourself, my love?"_

_Ecbatana. I wasn't in any rush to get there. Parmenion had breathed his last within those seven fold walls and I still regretted that necessity. The place seemed ill-omened to me and I shivered as we rode through the first gate into the city. It was nonsense but I called Aristander to me and asked him to take the omens – they were not good at all._

"_Someone close to you my king is in serious danger."_

"_Take the omens again – find out who."_

_Aristander looked ashen as this was a grave request and many a seer had been executed for less as it was treason to try and prophesy the death of a king – but not if your king was the one ordering you. I went with him and he cast for the lives of Achillaeus and the babies first: nothing, totally clear. Then Hephaestion – the liver had no lobes._

"_Bad omen, sire. He's not long to live."_

_So that was what I had sensed. I doubled his guard and nothing he ate or drank got to him without being tasted first. I had Senji give him an examination and he pronounced him totally healthy. Apart from sitting and watching him every minute of the day I could do no more except alert Cleitus to my worries and have an ally in my watch. Predictably it drove Hephaestion mad. Every time he turned round either I was there or the Black. However much he snarled, growled or yelled we stuck firm._

_One day Cleitus had to take out the cavalry for some new manoeuvres he wanted to try and I had some satraps to see who had come to have their posts confirmed. Achillaeus was with us and there were two guards at the door so I decided to go and check out the audience hall, telling Phai to go nowhere on his own._

"_Go, Alexander. I won't move without the girls outside." Achillaeus giggled at that and I tutted but left. I would be gone less than half an hour. What could happen?_

_I was on my way back to our apartments when I saw Achillaeus running towards me yelling for me to hurry up. He wouldn't let me pick him up but ran back before me. Cleitus was coming from the other direction along with Senji._

_Hephaestion was lying on the floor unable to move, his body spasming; a guard was standing nearby holding an embroidered cloth across his sword blade as if it would bite him. Meanwhile Senji examined Phai and asked Cleitus to help get him on the bed._

"_What happened?" I asked the guard._

"_Unsure sire. We heard banging on the door and the Prince told us the Chiliarch had been taken ill and to send for the doctor and yourself – when I got in here I found the general as you see him but able to speak a little. He was holding this cloth and told me not to touch it but to move it away in case the Prince touched it."_

_Achillaeus was beside me in tears, threatening to fall but held back. Picking him up, I hugged him to me in a bone crushing grip, kissing his face and stroking his hair whilst whispering: 'Well, done, my son. Well done.'_

_Senji came over and started to wipe at Achillaeus' small hands, then made the guard drop the embroidered cloth into an empty piss pot._

"_Doctor!" Cleitus yelled._

_We turned to Phai. He couldn't speak, his body convulsing, covered with sweat. Still holding my son I sat beside him, taking one of his hands as he tried to smile at me. He wanted the boy out of the room and I asked the guard to fetch Acte but she was already coming._

"_I don't want to go!"_

"_I know but the doctor needs quiet to make mother better. Be good, Achillaeus and do this for me?"_

_He nodded, gave one last look at Hephaestion who turned to smile to reassure him and, taking Acte's hand, left the room. I swung back to Phai and the doctor._

"_It's a poison, Great King, of the hell bane family – it produces paralysis and then slow death. There's no cure. The cloth must have been dosed in it as it can be transmitted by touch – it's an old Persian way of administrating poison, sire. Ochus used it in Egypt on many occasions._

"_No cure?" I heard Cleitus whisper, staring at Hephaestion in horror and terror._

_I stroked back Phai's hair and looked into his eyes, reddened now and glistening with tears. He was trying hard to say something, and then managed finally to burst out with one word, loudly crying "Ty!"_

_Ty? The commander of my Egyptian troops I had taken with me from Memphis – why call for him? I was about to call the guard to fetch him but the man arrived that instant, almost as if he had heard my love's desperate call. Without even acknowledging me the big man took Hephaestion's hand, checking the pulse and placed a hand on his forehead._

"_Not again." I caught him say under his breath. What did that mean? He looked up at me and I found myself caught by blue eyes, hawk eyes that blinked just once. Then he called out "Sekhmet!"_

_The air shimmered and when it cleared there stood a tall, auburn hair woman, dressed in a straight, red dress covered with a netted overdress. I recalled the name, the city goddess of Memphis, goddess of war and healing. The two started to talk quietly in Egyptian to each other and then Senji. Moving me aside, gently, Sekhmet stood on the opposite side of Hephaestion from Ty: they held hands, lowered their heads and he was suddenly suffused with a green/blue light that travelled down his body from head to foot._

_Hephaestion arched off the bed, taking a deep breath then collapsed back again, his eyes closing. My heart jumped; he was so still, so lifeless. Then his eyes flickered open and his head turned towards me and smiled. Sekhmet moved away to let me get to the bed and take him in my arms. He was alive! Thanks to these strange Egyptians – was Ty also a 'god', acting in disguise on earth? The man grinned at me then as if reading my mind._

"_I like to help when I can."_

"_Meddle more like." Said a deep voice from the doorway, it was his second-in command, Maks, the man who had saved us in the Libyan desert with Ty, a beautiful man but as dangerous as a lion when cornered. They were as inseparable as Phai and I were._

"_Are you…" I asked him but he never answered just leaned against the door and smiled._

"_Great King," Sekhmet turned to me holding the pot with the poisoned cloth in it. She waved a hand and the blue/green light sank into the vessel then she took out the cloth and handed to me. "I've removed the poison, it's perfectly safe. Do you recognise this?"_

_Looking at it I recalled a day, many months before when I had visited Roxanne before Helena's birth and she had been busy working on this very embroidery._

"_Roxanne." I breathed._

"_Why do all the women in your family always want to kill me, Xander?"_

"_She's not my mother, Phai. This one I __can__ deal with permanently."_

_Cleitus nodded emphatically and Maks mumbled 'About time.'_

"_Then take this." Sekhmet had tipped the poison she had taken from the cloth into a small glass vial and handed it to me._

"_Xander." I turned to him whom I had nearly lost hoping he wouldn't try to stop me. "Do this carefully. She has powerful allies. Take Oxarthes into your confidence – this must be handled as with Bessus, the Persian way."_

_He was right of course. I sent for the Prince to meet me at the harem._

"_You'll need someone to interrogate the maids and eunuchs." Maks interrupted. "She didn't do this alone. A Macedonian won't get anything from them as Hephaestion said."_

_The answer was obvious – someone loyal to me who hated the Queen but could be trusted to be fair on the rest. "Bagoas."_

_Leaving Hephaestion in the care of Sekhmet and Senji, it was a grim group that headed towards the harem: myself, Cleitus, Ty, Maks, Oxarthes and three guards. Bagoas was waiting at the door with another four guards and I let them arrest the maids and eunuchs first before going in to see my 'dear' wife._

_I hadn't seen her since Helena's birth and her rejection of the poor child. She knew her place as my conjugal wife was over but I did no plans to divorce her – she would not lose face but continue as Queen. Obviously that was not enough for her. As we entered she was standing in the middle of the room evidently aware something was wrong when we trooped in. Courage was not lacking here and she stood straight looking me in the eye. In a strange replay of events I heard myself telling her what I had said to my mother that day._

"_He's not dead, Roxanne." And here I threw the embroidery at her. Her reaction at that was to jump back as if scolded and I knew it had been her absolutely. "What I want to know before you die is why; he has always treated you with respect. You cannot blame him because you and I had a daughter, not a son."_

"_He is an abomination!" she spat. "A demon in the form of a human. He set a spell on me so I could not bear you a __true__ son. I kill him for you and for us!"_

"_You rejected the only child we had Roxanne – what kind of a mother does that make you?"_

"_She was changed by your demon, unclean and not fit to be near me. Kill him Iskander! He bewitches you."_

"_Foolish woman. Hephaestion is no demon; he has the power of the gods on his side and it is they that have blessed me with children from the human I love most in this world."_

_Roxanne then went into a tirade in her own language which I couldn't understand but Oxarthes did and he reacted angrily. Bagoas then sidled in and spoke to Cleitus and we left Roxanne with the guards for a moment._

_Bagoas told me they had discovered two maids and a eunuch who were in the plot, the rest were innocent. I looked at the prince and asked him what the Persian custom was now._

"_The servants crucified, the Queen buried alive."_

_Even Cleitus blanched at that and Maks rolled his eyes._

"_If I put her to death how will her family react?"_

"_Oxyartes is an ambitious man; she's only a daughter and with proof of her treason gives him the choice – lose everything or accept her judgement." Oxarthes said._

"_Maks?"_

"_Have him killed. He's a danger. Daughter or not her 'treason' was against your lover, not you. He won't see it as treason, merely court politics."_

_Cleitus concurred. That could be arranged later but now I needed to resolve the question of my wife. I could not bury her alive so I returned to my mother's way of solving such a dilemma. Asking the guards to get me something quickly, when he returned with it we went back to Roxanne._

"_Your accomplices have confessed your guilt. By Persian law you are condemned to death and I understand the sentence is burial alive." Here she finally lost some of her resolve and started to shake. "However, I will not do that. I will offer you a choice."_

_Holding up the vial in one hand, I held in the other a length of rope the guard had brought me._

"_Choose."_

_She glared at me with contempt, spat at my feet, whereupon Cleitus and the guards drew their swords but I stopped them. Seeing that way out was denied her she grabbed the vial and swallowed the contents. All the while it took affect she never took her eyes from me._

"_I curse your Hephaestion and his children – he will die soon and I rejoice at that. The poison stays in the system…" there she caught her breath and put a hand to her throat, collapsing on the floor in convulsions. It was a horrible sight to see a woman I had loved, however briefly, suffer in such a way._

_Maks moved past me and knelt beside her, placing a hand over her heart and pressing down whilst with the other he tipped her head back. I heard a distinct crack as he broke her neck and those brown eyes lost all life. He stood up and walked past me, resuming his position once more; no change came over his features at all – it was almost as if he had given clemency to a dog in pain, not a human being. Of everything he had done in the years I had known him that told me most clearly he was not a mortal._

_Then I returned to Hephaestion where we comforted each other and Achillaeus who had been brought back to us to see that Phai was well. It had cleared and eased my heart to see the boy run to the man who had born him and throw his little arms about his neck._

"_Mother! You're better."_

"_Thanks to your quick thinking, yes."_

_Achillaeus slept that night in our rooms as he didn't want to leave Hephaestion, a feeling I could understand._

_Maks went to deal with Roxanne's father far more quickly than a man on a horse could have done. I never questioned what he did and Phai agreed with his assessment of her father. I placed a loyal Persian as the new satrap and we moved out of Ecbatana as soon as I could arrange it._

_I vowed __never__ to go there again._


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note: Thanks to Jelana, Mlygia, and Norresken for reviewing. Two more to go after this one!**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Hephaestion POV**

_The second attempt on my life by a female of his family ensured that Alexander never married again. There was no need to, he said, as I had more than fulfilled my role as 'mother'. Nice to be appreciated._

_The children were thriving and Achillaeus was a born horseman much to our delight. Little Philippos was walking very early and unstoppable once he found his legs, causing uproar every time someone left the nursery door open and he could streak out. Phila was far better behaved though just as forward in her development but far more sensible with it._

"_She's definitely more you, Phai."_

"_And Philippos you – he'll always jump first and think later."_

"_Is that your assessment of me, my love?"_

"_Yes – and the men will always love you for it whilst it's sending me grey."_

"_But it makes you look so distinguished and not a little irresistible."_

_We had been lovers for over seventeen years and our passion for each other may have mellowed but not diminished; the fever of youth was no more but replaced by knowledge of what the other wanted, and what would give the most pleasure. This made our love making slower but more intense and satisfying. Our love had deepened through all the years until no one queried it any more. It was taken as a fact of life the same as breathing._

_Except Cassander never saw it that way._

_Alexander had written to Antipater recalling him to Babylon to answer certain 'charges' laid by Olympias – in fact it was to give the man a rest from his mother more than a rebuke. But the King could hardly say that in a letter; Craterus he had instructed to make it plain but he was taking his own sweet time getting home and was still in Cilicea when Cassander arrived in Babylon to act as hostage but also to put his father's case. Antipater couldn't have chosen a worse son for the job._

"_The rumours were true then." Were his first words to me on the day I saw him after his arrival. I was with Achillaeus and Philippos watching as my elder son went through his paces on the new horse he had been given as a present by the Companions._

_Cassander watched my son with the gaze of a cat ready to pounce on a mouse. If I'd hoped my life was going to be easy and peaceful now I was wrong. I had always hated this man since we had been at Mieza together and now he proved that he had not changed at all in the eleven years we had been away from Macedon._

"_If by rumours you mean the King has produced heirs for Macedon and his new empire, then yes, as you can see."_

"_And you are their mother?" he laughed out loud at that earning glares from the guards and causing Achillaeus to rein in his horse and stare at the stranger with mounting anger._

"_Yes I am – a gift of the gods to the King. Doubt that, Cassander, at your peril."_

"_A lovely story, Hephaestion, for mule-headed soldiers who know nothing. Who really is the boy's mother?"_

"_He __is__ my mother and my brother's and sisters, too. How dare you question that!" Achillaeus sat the horse, straight backed, his young face rigid with anger. I noted the guards had moved closer to, as furious as their prince._

"_I do not doubt your paternity, prince, but I'm no fool and will not believe myths."_

"_You've always been a fool, Cassander; you always will be until someone kills you."_

_This was Cleitus, storming into the courtyard and towering over the smaller man._

"_Cleitus? Not you too? Has he bewitched you of all men?"_

"_Be careful, son of Antipater, you're not at Mieza now and this army is no longer the one Philip made. It is wholly Alexander's and Hephaestion's."_

_That was music to my ears. Finally I was accepted by those that mattered most – I had proven my worth to them through hard work not because of my relationship with the King; a relationship they now cherished as much as Alexander and I did ourselves, for all in this army of ours knew the Iliad and lived by it. They were, if I so dare say, proud that they had their own Achilles and Patroclus to lead them. _

_Cassander's face fell in disbelief but he remained silent. _

_Both Cleitus and I worked tirelessly to persuade Alexander to send him back to Macedon but he said 'no, I want him where I can see him' and far away from Craterus. So he came with us to Arabia, causing trouble all the way._

_The campaign was one of the toughest we had fought, lasting two years. Two years of desert fighting where it was mainly cavalry against cavalry, hand to hand, blood for blood. They were magnificent fighters and horsemen and though we were wearing them down it seemed as if the fighting would be as never ending as it had been in India. But they surprised us; envoys arrived to discuss surrender._

"_Iskander – you have proven a worthy opponent and King. Your courage is clear and admirable, as is that of your army."_

_They brought us magnificent horses as gifts. The Chief offered us their daughters as wives and had them dance for us. Alexander smiled and grinned at me as the lead dancer, a truly beautiful girl, made it clear what she hoped for._

"_Not again, my love." He whispered. "Not again."_

_So we gained allies, horses but no wives. And we lost Cassander; not in battle against the enemy but in a duel with Cleitus. The foolish man had fomented trouble each day he was with us despite his inability to arouse the men against me. But when he started on the children, making nasty comments every time they passed him or starting rumours about their legitimacy, Cleitus saw red. The duel was held in accordance with army regulations and Alexander made no attempt to stop it. Nor did Antipater, who had finally joined us the year before. As the sword slid into his son's body he sighed and said:_

"_He was always a fool!"_

_Alexander decide to send Antipater and Perdiccas to Babylon as vice regents to run the empire from there whilst we headed for Egypt to rest the men and plan the next campaign against the Phoenician outpost of Carthage._

_It was as if we had come home as soon as we entered the now completed Alexandria. The people lined the streets cheering us as the army marched in parade; Alexander lapped it up, breathing in the adulation like nectar and was glowing with joy by the time we reached the palace. The rooms were large, but not massive, giving a homily feel. Light paint and glorious frescoes on the lower half of the walls made the place so much more refined than the garish Persian palaces. They never caused me headaches with the clashing colours. The children were entranced by the painted friezes and individual gardens outside their rooms. At first the twins were into exploring and Phila surrounded herself with animals of all shapes and sizes, though I drew the line at snakes – too many memories of 'grandmother'._

_Alexander called me early one morning and we left the palace with only a small escort, walking towards the centre of the City where there was a large space clear of any buildings. From the map of the city I had drawn up I couldn't recall what was supposed to be there._

"_It's for our Tomb, Hephaestion." He told me._

"_Tomb? We're not going home then?"_

"_No. Come and look at the plans. Here in Egypt the Pharaoh's always started their tomb as soon as they ascended the throne."_

_The plans were grandiose; a sort of pyramid guarded by two sphinxes at the entrance leading up a causeway to two huge obelisks. Inside, there was a main burial chamber decorated with scenes of his victories; then there were scenes of the gods – Hathor, Sekhmet and Horus. On the opposite wall would be the domestic scenes including myself, the children, the Staff and the army._

"_Impressive. How long will it take to build? Ankhtefi told me the ones at Giza took twenty years."_

_He laughed. "I have no intention of either of us needing it yet but I'm assured it will not take long as it is nowhere near as large as the one at Giza. Big enough for you and me, though."_

"_Why are our ashes not being sent home?"_

"_Two reasons. We aren't being burned but embalmed for one – the idea of burning you gives me nightmares. Secondly, Egypt has been good to me. I did not conquer her, she welcomed me in. And her gods have given me back, twice, the person I love most. So is it so wrong to honour them by being buried here?"_

"_No. I've loved this place since the first time we visited. Our lives have been touched by its people and divines. I am content."_

**Alexander POV**

_There was no war with Carthage. Hephaestion persuaded me to let him go and negotiate a surrender with the assistance of Ankhtefi, Ty and Maks._

"_The men have had a hard campaign in Arabia and they're not ready for another desert fight yet."_

_I agreed with him and so saw him off with a large enough escort to keep him safe but not cause concern he was there to fight. I stayed in Alexandria and watched as the Tomb grew apace; dealing with new laws, cases of justice and the running of an empire that covered a great deal of the known world kept me busy and interested. I missed him but the children were growing up and were excellent company as I began to teach Achillaeus the minutiae of being a king between his schooling. Aristotle had written asking to take up his old post but he had, unfortunately or fortunately perhaps, died before he could arrive. I found a replacement in Egypt, at Ty's suggestion, who was far more tolerant than the old man ever was._

_The army had taken the children to its collective heart. Hephaestion's re-organisation allowing troops to go home every two years was working perfectly and Cleitus was also content – many of the veterans who had left with Craterus returned refreshed and ready for action._

_Hephaestion returned to me at the beginning of winter to hand me a negotiated peace with the Carthaginians and their promise to assist me when I campaigned against Rome._

"_They're a cultured people," my lover explained the night of his return over a quiet supper, "excellent seamen, their ships are truly outstanding, and Nearchus will be in Elysium when he sees them."_

"_But?" I could tell from his face that something did not altogether please him._

"_But their religious practises beggar belief, Alexander."_

"_How so?"_

"_They – sacrifice their children to their gods! Babies, barely months old, children no older than our twins. It's considered an honour!"_

_I know he was thinking of our own, lost son and felt as he did. Each month he and I made sacrifice to the soul of Alexandros and I had even built a small chapel to his memory at the temple of Ptah in Memphis as well as in the palace at Alexandria. He was never far from our thoughts. This side of the Carthaginians concerned me greatly. I rarely, if ever, interfered with a peoples religion and would try and work with them but, unlike the others, I would not take part in their ceremonies to their gods as I did with the rest of my peoples. That could cause problems however._

"_Ty explained to them that such sacrifices were against __our__ religion as much as it was with the Egyptians whom they knew well. Their king assured me you would not be asked to participate in any such – they were private devotions for Carthaginians only. And as far as I'm concerned they can stay that way."_

_We wintered in Alexandria and organised games and festivals for the troops. Bagoas won the dance competition again, much to his delight. He told me it would be his last performance as he was getting too old and his duties as court Chamberlain required more 'dignity' than that._

_Hephaestion spent hours with Ankhtefi and his 'army' of scribes re organising the financial branch of the empire; along with Peucastis he set up mixed schools for Macedonian and Asian children of the men; Cleitus was in charge of training the new cavalrymen and Leonnatus trained the infantry. I gave the fleet to Nearchus. All in all the empire was consolidating; there were few revolts that could not be put down quickly and effectively. My only problem was mother who was constantly writing asking to visit._

"_Bring her Alexander. She has a right to see her grand children after all."_

_He was right. And so after sixteen years I finally saw my mother again. Her hair was iron grey but all else was the same. She clucked over Achillaeus, patted Philippos and ignored the girls completely._

"_You need to marry Alexander."_

"_By the gods, mother, change your song. I have no need of a wife. Hasn't Hephaestion proven himself to you yet? He has to the army, the Staff and my allies. __He __is my consort, I need no other."_

"_In Athens they laugh at you."_

"_In Athens they can go shove their heads up their arses. I don't care what they may or may not think."_

_Her stay was short and we all sighed in relief when she left for Macedon. Phai patted me consolingly and said I had done my duty as a son and could now leave her at Pella – permanently. It wasn't all that permanent as I heard a few months later she was dead, bitten by one of her snakes. Craterus conducted her funeral and interred her ashes in the mausoleum I had had prepared for father. To say I mourned deeply would not be true. I loved her but she had always caused me more trouble than she helped and her hatred of Hephaestion lost much of my love for her._

_Besides, I planned doing something which she would never have condoned. Two ceremonies: one to crown Hephaestion as my official consort, the other to put Achillaeus on the throne beside me as co-regent. It was an Egyptian tradition so that the succession could go smoothly as well as ensure the people got to know there was always a 'Horus' in waiting in the wings when the Elder died. It would also allow me to train him in harness as it were. I was determined not to make the mistake of my father but then his marriage was never happy whereas mine was._

"_To make Achillaeus Pharaoh and king is the right thing to do. But not crowning me."_

"_Phai…"_

"_Listen, my love; it's not necessary. The men know my place at your side, the ambassadors too. There are many who would not understand if you crowned me, it will confuse matters."_

"_You are so …"_

"_Logical?"_

"_No, I was going to say bloody obstinate! But I suppose you are right as usual."_

"_I am. And you can always 'crown' me in private."_

_The ceremony was duly performed to make Achillaeus co-regent with me in the ancient tradition of the land I now considered my home. We travelled to Karnak for the coronation, it was the first time any of us Macedonians had seen the great religious capital of this strange land. It was not simply one temple but a whole city of them, two massive 'homes of the gods', one for Amun, the other for his consort Mut, surrounded by chapels and smaller temples to various other gods and goddesses._

_Ankhtefi gave me a guided tour of the coronation route but was endearingly honest about the rest._

"_I can't explain it to you, Great One, because I don't understand it myself."_

_More surprising still was Ty's reaction. He laughed and practically said the same thing._

"_We're talking religion here, Alexander and that has never had anything to do with facts or reason."_

_Comforting._

_Achillaeus loved dressing up as much as I did so we immersed ourselves in the costume aspect of it all much to Phai's amusement. When we tried to get him into Egyptian regalia he wasn't smiling so much._

"_I'll stick to my plain Macedonian garb, thank you sire."_

"_Macedonian it might be, plain most definitely not."_

_He groaned but I was adamant. He would take the part of my consort and second-in-command whether he liked it or not. I chose a dark blue chiton embroidered in gold to go beneath armour of burnished gold; his cloak was of blue, black and gold silk. About his wrists were bracelets of gold and semi-precious stones, two armlets to match that accentuated his lean muscles and a gold diadem which held back his still luxurious hair from his face, still so beautiful even at thirty-six summers, the azure eyes high-lighted with a hint of kohl._

"_You look beautiful, mother." Achillaeus cried, then blushed as his voice suddenly dropped an archive. "I hope it doesn't do that during the ceremony."_

"_Breath regularly and slowly. Think of what your saying and it shouldn't catch you out."_

"_Yes, mother."_

_Our boy was definitely growing into manhood. He would be twelve on the day of the coronation and was already making steadfast friends, in particular Ptolemy's eldest, Lagos – a year or so older; they were inseparable and I smiled at it. Lagos was so much like my Phai though not so beautiful – he had his father's nose and little of Thais' grace but he had inherited their intelligence. Achillaeus would provide the beauty – for my son __was__ beautiful; he had my hair, his mother's eyes and most of his features too including the pert nose instead of the bulky thing I had on my face._

_The ceremony went off without any problems arising, both of us word perfect. Hephaestion looked proud of us and the banquet afterwards was a dignified affair but pleasant nonetheless. A more Macedonian celebration was planned for when we returned to Alexandria. Once there I started the plans for war against Rome._


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: I'm putting the last two chapters up today. Many thanks to all who have read and reviewed and I am pleased my little flight of fancy has been enjoyed.**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Hephaestion POV**

_My son was now king along with his father and looked every inch one sitting on the throne in Karnak. I was never more proud of either of them than on that day, though Alexander insisted on dressing me up again._

_The Tomb, as it was now called by everyone in Alexandria, rose at a rapid rate which I found a little disconcerting at first as if they believed it would be needed soon. I hoped that would not be the case as my life was almost perfect. I was in love and loved by the greatest man in the world and had three lovely children. I was also friends with the man whose dignity and love for me and mine shone in my heart like a beacon._

_My career had reached the highest through merit and I learned to show this to the army who finally accepted me as a Macedonian officer. My job as Chiliarch was interesting and I enjoyed the variety of things I had to do knowing it was all for my king. The Empire was stable and Perdiccas kept it under control with Antipater's help in Babylon. We were getting ready to move on Rome and I was busy arranging supplies, reconnaissance and a fleet for Nearchus. I wasn't going this time. Alexander wanted me to stay in Alexandria and watch over everything as well as Achillaeus – Cleitus was going with him._

_Before then however a sickness broke out in the city and was killing hundreds each day. I moved Achillaeus and the children to Memphis where they would be safe and we kept the army in barracks for safety. But Ankhtefi and Acte lived in a part of the city that was badly hit and I decided to go out and visit them to make sure they were all safe. I didn't tell Alexander because he would have stopped me._

_Covering myself with a full length cloak I slipped out of the palace and made my way on foot to their home. If I wanted to a miss a lecture from my king I got one from Acte who was furious at me. They were fine and I left satisfied that two of my dearest friends were happy, healthy and contented._

_Barely ten strides from the palace gates a man collided with me and coughed straight into my face before lurching off on his way. I took little notice of it simply wiping my face with my cloak and proceeding to my rooms where I found a very angry king pacing its length with a look on his face I knew of old – I was in trouble._

"_What in Hades were you thinking Phai? There's plague in the city and you go out in it alone!"_

"_I needed to be sure Acte and Ankhtefi were alright…"_

"_Couldn't you have sent a courier instead? Gods, Phai I was going out of my mind with worry."_

"_I'm back, my liege, so stop worrying."_

"_Stop…?"_

_He rounded on me so fast I was flat on my back before I could catch my breath having my lips ravaged by a very irate King. His hands held my face in a vice like grip and his tongue was fighting my own until I couldn't hold back the moan escaping from me as his body ground down onto mine. His body was still as lovely as ever, still as hard, and still able to arouse me to heights of passion that made my head dizzy. He did not enter me gently but took what I offered without hesitation, pounding into me at such an angle that he was hitting that particular spot that caused me to almost black out with pleasure each time he touched it and he was doing so on every thrust._

"_I would be nothing without you, Phai. Don't ever risk yourself like that again or I'll…"_

"_Punish me? If this is punishment, I'll take every risk that comes along."_

"_Be serious! Without you I should go mad!"_

"_And I without you, my love."_

_We made love again just as fervent until sleep took us both._

_A few days later we were having a small feast with the Staff to discuss the plague and the campaign that had to be postponed because of it. I hadn't been feeling well all afternoon and as I sat there listening to Cleitus and Leonnatus talking about burning parts of the city worst affected I looked over at Alexander, suddenly afraid – his face swam before my eyes and I put out a hand to him before I blacked out._

_When I regained consciousness I was in my bed, Alexander sponging my forehead as he talked to Senji._

"_It's the infection, your majesty. He must have caught it when he went out. You should leave sire…"_

"_No! No – you may."_

"_I've had the plague many years ago; no one seems to catch it twice."_

"_But Acte and Ankhtefi are fine. How did he catch it?"_

"_A man." I whispered. "He bumped into me – coughed – at me. I'm sorry, so sorry."_

"_Ssh Phai – you need to conserve your strength. Senji get Ty – now. Cleitus don't you dare come in here! That's an order!"_

"_But your majesty!"_

"_No! I need you alive. You will be regent for my son. He will need your support when we've gone."_

"_Yes, your majesty. Here's Ty."_

_The tall man who was no man came in with Maks and checked me out before shaking his head._

"_I'm sorry, Alexander, I can do nothing this time."_

"_Why? I __need__ him."_

"_This is natural. The last two times he was being poisoned or getting his wrists slashed. I can't interfere again."_

_I took Alexander's hand in mine and squeezed it hard._

"_You've given me so much, my Alexander. I love you. Live for me, for the children."_

"_Oh, Phai. I can't do that."_

_The light was fading fast and his face was going out of focus again. I was losing him and he was losing me._

"_Wait for me my love – I'll join you…"_

**Alexander POV**

_I've lost him to Thanatos, finally, irrevocably – and Macedon will soon lose its king._

_As he breathed his last I heard this terrible scream rent the air: it came from both me and Cleitus standing outside, looking in. Senji too cried out and fell to his knees. My Phai was greatly loved. Ty and Maks had disappeared so we were alone, the four of us, in our grief._

_As the sun sank I straightened his hair out on the pillow, wiped his lips clean and kissed him._

"_I'll join you soon, my love; I have things to do and then we will be together again."_

_Slowly standing up I turned to Senji placing a hand gently on his head to tell him I understood and thanked him for his love._

"_Cleitus"_

"_Your majesty?"_

"_He is to be embalmed. When they lay him in the Tomb I want him exactly as he is now – hair spread out across a pillow. Its how I always imagine him when he's not with me."_

"_Not in armour, Alexander?"_

"_No – he was more than a soldier. The blue chiton he wore at our son's coronation and the green robe. See to it."_

_The men from the Temple of Life came as I sat beside my love and took him, gently, away from me. Cleitus followed the bier with his tear stained eyes then made to come to me._

"_No Cleitus! I have the sickness, I feel it in me already. Stay away. I need you to survive for my son. Get Eumenes here. I must make my will."_

_Dictating it from a safe distance I lay down on the bed, exactly where Hephaestion had lain as we last made love. In the distance I heard a noise growing in intensity like a low moan, voicing my own despair and grief._

"_What is that sound?" I asked Senji._

"_It's the army, Great One. They know you are ill and have come to pray for your survival."_

_The army. My other love. I smiled through cracked lips. "Help me up, Senji."_

_The Egyptian eased me onto my feet and with an arm about his shoulders, I staggered to the balcony. Below were a sea of faces and at their head stood Cleitus, Ptolemy and Leonnatus. My heart swelled as they cried my name in love, begging me not to leave them as I had to Phai. I held up a hand to quiet them and the silence that descended was deafening. It took me some while to get my breath and order my thoughts as to what I wanted to say as I looked out on those faces old, haggard, careworn; young, sad and new to death. At my dear friends Cleitus, Ptolemy and Leonnatus._

"_You are all my heart. You have never let me down in all the years we have fought across a continent. You won my victories. You won this empire for Macedon. Now I ask of you all one last favour._

"_The best part of my heart has gone from me; my beloved Hephaestion has gone to the House of the Dead before me but I will not keep him waiting long. Do not ask me to stay! He is, was, my very soul, my heart, myself. What I do ask of you is to give your loyalty and love to my son, Achillaeus, your king. Give your loyalty to General Cleitus who I appoint as Regent for my son until he comes of age. General Ptolemy will be Satrap of Egypt…"_

_Here I fell against the balustrade, as cold fingers clutched my heart._

"_Men of Macedon – remember me as the king that loved you best."_

_I stood up, with Senji's help, waved once to the men crying my name and turned from them for the last time. Sinking onto the bed, my head filled with images of my life; my mother and father arguing; the first sight of Bucephalus; a pair of cerulean eyes smiling up at me from a face so breathtakingly lovely in the throes of passion as we made love for the first time. In all of it was Hephaestion – laughing, crying, thoughtful, angry, sad but above all loving._

_I saw him with Aries, with Achillaeus; laughing with Cleitus, whom he had truly loved; crying at the death of Alexandros and when I married Roxanne. I hurt him so much with both Bagoas and my wife that I could hardly grudge him the love Cleitus offered._

_I sensed Senji moving about me as the light dimmed. It got cold. Suddenly I was afraid. What if he wasn't there? The Oracle of Siwah had confirmed his divinity but would that ensure we would meet again? Was there even a life after death? Had I lost my heart forever?_

"_Alexander."_

_My eyes moved toward the sound in the dark room. A figure slowly emerged – sleek, dressed in blue to match his eyes, hair pulled back from a perfect face – Hephaestion._

"_Come, my love. It's time."_

"_I doubted Phai…"_

"_Then take my hand and lose your doubts."_

"_Always with you."_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

**EPILOGUE**

**Cleitus POV**

_I had never heard a man scream as the King did unless it was me. Hephaestion was dead._

_I had loved him since the day I returned from Philip's siege of Byzantum to get the relief troops. He ran into me on his way to see the young regent, Alexander, and I found my arms full of the most beautiful young man I had ever seen. Instinct had taken over and I kissed him hungrily and was pleased to feel him return it._

"_Hello beautiful." I crooned to him after releasing those sweet lips._

"_Commander Cleitus – I… Will you let me go please?"_

"_Certainly, provided we continue this later. What's your name, lovely?"_

"_Hephaestion Amyntoros."_

_I recognised the name from Philip – his son's lover. I knew then he was beyond me. For years I watched him and loved him; it took me by surprise that my feelings were so strong but he was beautiful, intelligent, brave, a good soldier and passionate. He also had the most amazing legs which looked good on a horse or anywhere else. I watched and waited until Alexander made such a fool of himself as to hurt that glorious creature so loyal to him, not once but twice, first with a eunuch and then with that bitch Roxanne. Finally he came to my bed and I loved him as I had wanted for three wonderful years until the King won him back from me. He had never stopped loving Alexander but we did share a love as profound as any I ever knew. When he had my daughter Phila I was overwhelmed and ready to give him whatever he needed and protect his children with my life._

_Now he was dead and my King would soon follow him. Alexander died five days after. According to his last instructions they were both embalmed in the Egyptian way and nearly three months later were both laid in their tomb. The sarcophagus was carved from alabaster so thin that it was transparent. Inside, Alexander was dressed in full parade armour, wearing his lion helmet; the Shield of Achilles propped up at the foot of the plinth they lay on. Hephaestion, as the king had ordered, wore the blue chiton he wore at Achillaeus' coronation, a sword around his slim waist. He wore no helmet but lay with his hair spread out on an embroidered pillow. The embalmers had done a superb job – both looked as if they were merely sleeping._

_The Tomb became a place of pilgrimage for the city and the army, open to all to marvel at their King, Meglos Alexandros, and his consort Hephaestion Amyntoros, Philalexandros._

_May the gods protect them and, I hope, that wherever they are they are together as they wanted._

**The Duat (The After Life)**

"_Alexander – open your eyes."_

"_Hephaestion?"_

"_If you open your eyes you'll be able to see me too."_

_Alexander did as ordered and found himself lying on the ground near a river._

"_Where are we?"_

"_The Duat. The Egyptian Afterlife."_

"_Not Elysium?"_

"_That's here apparently. Our friend Ty pulled a 'few strings' with Zeus to get us here. He has plans for us it seems."_

_The Macedonian King was less interested in Ty at that moment than the view of tanned thigh his lover was displaying beneath a short chiton. The one question he had then was whether they could have sex and, if so, how soon?_

_But at that moment Ty and Maks arrived and hailed them. They then discussed what they would do in their new existence but Alexander had a question he wanted answering first._

"_Ty – when Phai was poisoned at Ecbatana you said 'not again'. What did you mean by that?"_

_Maks snorted at that and sat down on a rock where Hephaestion joined him._

"_Did either of you ever get the sense that you had done something or been somewhere before when you hadn't?"_

"_Yes." Hephaestion replied. "Aristotle thought it a regular occurrence, something to do with memory or the mind."_

"_Well he was right – but not in your case. You two HAD lived it all before, done most of it before too."_

_The two Macedonians looked at him utterly confused._

"_What Ty is trying to say, and making a total dogs dinner of it, is that you have both lived your lives as Alexander and Hephaestion twice."_

"_Twice?" they echoed._

"_Twice." Ty retorted. "I didn't like the way things turned out the first time so I – reversed time and you started all over again. Unfortunately, you both still died young but at least this time the empire is stable and will continue."_

"_It didn't before?"_

"_No. You married late, you didn't leave India early enough nor handle the men as well and there was a mutiny…"_

"_You killed Cleitus too…"_

"_And Phai didn't bear you any children. Your only child was posthumous and Roxanne murdered Stateira and Drypetis whom you two married and the Generals tore the empire apart."_

_The two Egyptians watched as the other men absorbed this information._

"_On the second life I wanted to ensure the empire lasted. When you restored Hathor's temple she agreed to assist me and arranged for Phai to be able to have your children."_

"_Why are we so important? Alexander I can understand but me?"_

"_Phai – there are thousands of soldiers here. What I need are men and women of intelligence who question and want to know more. You both have that quality, the spirit of exploration and we need such as you."_

"_In the After Life?" Alexander queried, surprised._

_The Egyptian explained that the Creator set life in motion and then left it to its own devices. There were thousands and thousands of worlds out there with different cultures and creeds, life forms and species that were waiting to be explored and understood. This was the object of the orders of Khepri Ty mentioned to them; deceased souls who had passed judgement and become new life forms, Akhu, that were placed back into the original bodies so they could visit other worlds and mingle as normal humans with the benefits of never falling ill or dying again._

"_We want you to go exploring. Are you up to it?"_

_The two men looked at each other and then smiled._

"_Yes."_

"_Good. Let's go get you back in your bodies then."_

_Hephaestion found the sensation much like plunging into a pool of cold water as his soul or Akhu re-entered his body, reconstructing parts removed in the embalming process and uniting every cell in his body with his immortal soul. When he opened his eyes he was staring at the top of the burial chamber aware of the cold of the alabaster beneath him but also of the warmth of Alexander's own body beside him._

_Swinging down from the plinth his legs didn't hold up his weight and he would have fallen if not caught by Maks as Ty did the same for Alexander and they both sat down gratefully whilst the Egyptian divine reconstructed copies of their remains in the sarcophagus, replacing the lid._

"_We can't stay here much longer, Ty." Maks called to him. "This place is visited regularly. Once your Akhu have gotten used to having the weight of real bodies again we'll move back to the Duat."_

"_Who exactly are you Ty?" Alexander finally asked removing the helmet he wore and scratching his scalp until Phai grabbed his hand and slapped him._

"_I'm Herihor – Horus the Elder."_

_Hephaestion gasped and his lover looked at him questioningly._

"_Ankhtefi told me of this person – he is the Champion of the Creator, placed above all the other gods…"_

"_We prefer to call ourselves Netjeru – we're a different life form, the first the Creator devised and the one he based humans upon, rather than 'gods' as you think of them."_

"_Then you're like us, Khepri?"_

"_No. We were made immortal from the very beginning."_

"_Is Maks?"_

"_Yes and no. He's unique."_

"_That's not an explanation." Phai retorted, grinning._

"_It's a long story my friend." Maks answered. "Suffice it to say it involved Ty interfering – again."_

"_But sweetheart, we've had such fun."_

"_We need to leave – now."_

"_One other thing Ty." Alexander asked as they stood up to leave. "Achillaeus…"_

"_Will go on to be a great king. This time the empire will not be split but last."_

"_Where do we go now?"_

"_You go to conquer the galaxy, boys – but peacefully; no armies this time." Ty laughed._

_The Netjeru opened a gateway of bright light in the Tomb and they stepped through it into the Duat to be beside the River once more._

"_See Phai, I told you we only needed the two of us to conquer the world – and now this time the galaxy."_

"_Yes, my king. The two of us, together."_

_THE END_


End file.
